In the pursuit of elegance when you are plus size

[BigFatSober]

I know there are plenty of mumsnetters who will say "oh you can't possibly be elegant if you're plus size" and to those people I say please don't bother posting. Of course I'd like to be slim and am working on it.

In the interim however, I really want a reasonable good quality but not too £££ wardrobe in style of the old MN pursuit of elegance thread.

Has anyone else done this? I am just putting together my list and already have a few things I like wearing which I think will fit in with my plan to look more polished. So any advice and guidance from anyone who is a size 18+ or knows how to dress larger sizes would be so appreciated!

Can you give more detail about your size and shape?
I'm an 18-20, mid-sixties, and often get compliments on my clothes.
Recently, I've bought a leather biker jacket from LiveUnlimited, a black denim jacket from Asda, and dresses from lots of different places.

I am quite fussy about colours and fabrics. For example I love cobalt blue, but it can look cheap unless the fabric is good quality. Bright colours suit me, but they can look garish, so I'm very careful about what I buy in, say, hot pink. A cotton or linen shirt might look OK, but a jacket in the same colour will not shout "elegant".
I never wear things that are too tight, or that highlight features I'd prefer not to draw attention to. I try to buy clothes that are fairly simple, so no puffs, ruffles, extra strappy bits, and I wear a slip under dresses which might cling.
You can get clothes from almost anywhere if you are judicious in your choices and stick with natural fabrics.

Yes, I am 40yo, size 20/22 hourglass shaoe plus c section belly.

I suit warm colours and am allegedly a spring according to colour analysis. But I'm aiming for lots of neutrals rather than the brighter spring colours.

My challenge is that I can't try on clothes in a lot of shops as they only go up to an 18 in store or at all sometimes. Like you, I'm fussy about fabrics.

Thanks For the tips 💐

Check out Next and Simply Be as they do lots of brands as well as their own ranges.

Yours is good for cheaper pieces to add a bit a colour.

All do delivery and returns options.

I think it's a really good idea to take your measurements and make sure you are wearing a good supportive bra. Light support pants are good for smoothing a c section tummy I found.

I think a good haircut and simple make up help too.

Once you have taken your measurements check you are an hour glass. I thought I was but turns out since I passed the 40 threshold I'm more of a rectangle.

This will help you choose shapes and styles to flatter you. Buy good quality well cut pieces in good fabrics and accessorize with a good quality Handbag and shoes.

Vinted is good for quality second hand clothes. Search by brand. 😊

If you order from Next, you can return in person - I do this sometimes to try a variety of styles and sizes.

I think a well cut shirt, open over a vest and smart trousers always looks elegant / with lots of lovely jewellery and good hair

Good fabrics and good tailoring - no sacks that just hang down, pretending to hide your 'problem'. Garments with some shape and/or drape.

Garments that are not just one solid block of colour or pattern. Again, these pretend to hide your 'problem' by masking you into one visually undefined lump. You have curves - use them!

Good underwear. For me that's big knickers to minimise VPL, and a well-fitted bra from Bravissimo or Fenwicks. Chub-rub shorts with a swishy dress, or Spanx with a fitted dress.

I used to be a 22 (now 16-18). I like to wear fitted top with loose bottom or vice-versa. Leggings and t-shirt do me no favours, but jeans and a blouse, or t-shirt and a swishy skirt or wide-legged linen trousers, look well put-together.

And walk tall! So often we feel self-conscious of our size and try to hide ourselves. You have presence - carry it off like a queen.

Thanks for these.

The other thing I've noticed is that a lot of the classic style, casual dressing influencer types are mainly slim and a lot of the plus size influencer types all wear bright or very feminine dresses, which really isn't my style... it's a tricky one.

I do like a shirt open over a vest as suggested^^.

And yes, very true that i might be less hourglass than I used to be!

Follow Mollie Campsie on instagram! She's a size 18 and has such lovely style, a real mix of high end and high street. All very effortless, wearable outfits too.

OK mggg thank u im actually a size 6 but i loveeeeeee how she dresses

I'm a size 22 aged 60, I like the wide trousers, sleeveless top, long shirt over it look, plus statement necklace. I always feel I look smart and elegant if I switch the shirt to a blazer or long line jacket so I've got quite a few of those in various colours.
Make sure your clothes are not too tight, that certainly is not elegant. Wear good quality leather shoes, it makes a difference to how you look.

I've found that M&S and Next are consistent in their sizing of 22 and 24 clothes. I buy things off Vinted that I wouldn't normally afford - silk, linen etc.

I have also started getting dresses tailored at the bust and waist which makes an enormous difference and it's not expensive!

Another vote for mollie campsie. Lots of basics and neutrals in her grid as well.

I think you need structure and to avoid the loose unstructured look.

Well cut fitted neutral coloured clothes in good natural fabrics. Minimal pattern or plain nothing loud or bright. Very good uplifting bra. Great hair and skin. Natural nails, everything natural, neutral and classic in great condition.

Nicola Coughlan has some classically elegant outfits among the out-there statements she prefers. https://www.instagram.com/nicolacoughlancloset/

New Arrivals Women’s Plus-Size Dresses | Marina Rinaldi
a very classic look and certainly can be used for inspiration vs shopping
i always start with a quick review of my undies; fresh and fitting well along with one support foundation piece.
another quick pick me up that helps me feel more put together is a fresh pair of pj's that are not faded and warped.
next on my list is an emergency "occasion" outfit which is complete with cardigan and purse.
lululemon black or navy leggings (i suggest the align) depending on your height the cropped are great on shorter ladies but the leggings no matter your size are smooth and feel amazing. this however must be paired well with a suitable top/t-shirt/tunic but the leggings are soft lovely and make me feel like a million buck no matter my size.

More Nicola Coughlan ...

Wearing colours that flatter you - clothes, hair and make up wise - can make a big difference.

I'm an 18 and can look quite elegant. I find I have to work harder on personal grooming to stay that way than when I was slimmer tbh.

I find it hard because so.many plus size clothes rely on 'quirky' prints, or rockabilly, vintage cuts to give personality to 'make up' for size.

Whereas I would rather classic, simple clothes. I also find that the casual, baggy styles don't always work either.

Thanks so much for all of these - really helpful. I think I'm going to end up doing a lot of ordering and returning tbh as there are so few shops where I can actually try things on in my size.

I have ordered some straight leg jeans, 2 x cotton shirts and a tank top, plus some new knickers and ballet flats which are allegedly made for walking in.

I already have a favourite blazer and some navy fabletics leggings (not quite lululemon, but they're still higher end leggings). But will come up with a full list like the op from pursuit of elegance thread.

well done @BigFatSober
i was recently on the hunt for shoes to upgrade my style from birks...lots of online searching buying and returning. my feet are slightly wide but not enough for a wide fit but some standard sizes are too narrow. at one point i had 5 pairs of white sneakers to review...
i've moved on from shoes to foundation garments i need one just one pair of knickers that magically smooth my belly.