How to feel beautiful?

[OpenRoadYeehaw]

So I recently (against my better judgement) cut my hair from waist to shoulder length. I initially loved it. But as time has gone on, I have realised I hate it. I feel like I’ve lost my identity. I’ve never liked short hair, I don’t know wtf possessed me. I’ve even considered extensions but decided against it due to the risk of traction alopecia and the fact my hair is greasy and needs washing daily.

anyway. I’ve gained a few (12!) lbs too and just feel horrible.

I’ve been doing the usual stuff like dressing nicely, shaving and moisturising regularly, wearing make up if I want to etc but it isn’t helping. My confidence is really low. I’ve started eating healthier but I know the weight loss will take time as will the hair growth!

does anyone have any tips in the mean time? I can’t believe how much it has affected me. I even ended up having a conversation today with my husband about how I’m clearly not his type and why did he marry me! I’m being ridiculous! I just want to feel good about myself.

Red lipstick and red nails! Sorry that's probably the most basic reply of all time but I love those two things!

@littleteapot86 oh I’m not a big bold colour person! I have red toes at the moment and can’t wait to change them to a pale pink!

Wear your hair in a chic bun, emphasise your eyes with new makeup . Buy some new clothes, shoulder length hair is much nicer in my opinion.

You initially loved it! Even if it was just the thrill of the new, can't you try to regain that? Or is it that it's now grown to a length that you no longer like?

Also, I wouldn't call shoulder length hair short! It's medium length.

Do you do any exercise? Something physical with your body may help you to focus less on your appearance and feel more comfortable as a result, so in turn feel happier about how you look.

I’m not sure why I initially loved it. Probably because it looked thicker and healthier and I felt I could do more with it, rather than it just hanging there. But I’ve always had long hair and I feel like I’ve lost some of my femininity.

im not a big make up / fashion girl. I wear the bare minimum of make up and spend of my time in jeans and a t shirt, so my long, natural nails and long hair helped me feel pretty.

I would take time to style it, curl it or blow dry it, try out fancy up dos that you couldn’t do with your really long hair.

I always feel like worsel gummage when I take my extensions out so I can imagine how you feel. I am sure your hair is still glorious and honestly probably looks much healthier and better after such a good cut.

How about new stunning underwear and a perfume? Little power moves.

It's still feminine at shoulder length.

Your hair will grow. Buy some really nice smelling shampoo and conditioner in the meantime so it looks and smells nice.

And start some healthy eating plan to drop the extra pounds you've gained. Buy some moisturiser that has fake tan in it, to give you a nice glow for now.

In no time, you will start to feel back to yourself.

(I get it about long hair, I am the same).

Shoulder length hair is way nicer than waist length - which is dated looking

Well I was going to say get your hair done regularly, but that doesn't seem to be the answer for you. Wearing nice clothes always helps.

I’m with you about the hair. I had a big chop, didn’t like it but it was necessary! I take perfectil supplements for hair, nails and skin. I’m not sure if it’s making a difference but my hair is definitely growing (although it tends to do that anyway lol).

It’s good you’re eating healthy, maybe throw in some walking, bike riding too to give you that dopamine boost.

Treat yourself to some nice hair clips and experiment with different styles. Get a good skin care system in place. Look at makeup tutorials and try out some looks. Most importantly, be kind to yourself, you’re working towards something that takes time.

Do you exercise OP? I'm only asking because after I've exercised I feel so much better about myself.

Start tracking what you eat to get those 12lbs off. Get your 10,000 steps in a day and the weight will fall off. Your hair will grow again, just don't get any trims. I've been there and done that, and couldn't believe I'd done it too!

I don’t exercise, I hate it. But I know I should!

thank you all for being so kind. I felt like I was the only person who can feel so crap about a hair cut!

What is it exactly that is bothering you quite so much about the haircut? You don't have short hair now, you have shoulder-length hair. My own hair is shoulder-length and I regard it as long (as does my mother, who finds it deeply weird that her 51 year old daughter has 'long hair', when it is a well-known fact that women as soon as they hit 40 must cut their hair properly short, according to her).

I’ve always had long hair. The shortest it’s ever been in living memory is to my nipples. Everybody knows me with long hair. I liked the fact I could curl it and it would look glamorous and it was just quite feminine and pretty. I wash and blowdry it every day so it always looked nice, it was as part of my identity as having blue eyes.

now it’s shorter it just seems so… non descript? And I don’t feel it suits me. I’ve lost any kind of glamour. As I say I’m a jeans and t shirt kinda girl but I’ve tried to dress up a couple of times to go out for dinner and I just feel longer hair would have elevated the look. I miss my long hair.

Could you dye your hair? Maybe some highlights could help you to love it again.

I know what you mean, I’m growing out a pixie cut. It looked really nice for two weeks and now I hate it.

I’ve stopped dyeing it actually because I’m not going grey yet and it won’t be long before I have to start! I’m very dark so it’ll be a lot of upkeep.

oh bless you. It’s horrible isn’t it, not liking what you see in the mirror 😞 I hope it grows fast for you! I’m going to take collagen supplements and keep my fingers crossed!

Personally I don’t think very long hair looks nice.
The only time it looks ok is when it’s fake so it’s incredibly shiny.
Do you think it’s more a case of Laura with the hair down to her bum, so everyone knew you as that. Now it’s Laura with the average length hair?
Some good advice on here though. Buy hair accessories and experiment with those.
Buy a nice blazer. Or a nice blouse and wear that instead of a big standard t shirt.

I get what you mean. I've had some really short haircuts and hated it. I have long hair (not as long as yours was), it's just above my bra strap and I prefer it long. It hangs better as I have a natural wave. When I've had it shorter it doesn't seem to hang right. But your hair will grow again and it's not really really short which is an advantage. You can still style it, curls, waves, short, pin it up. In the meantime there's been some great suggestions by others on here 🙂

No, I think it’s a case of I look better with longer hair. Even my husband said he prefers it longer. I have just really lost my confidence and wonder how he can fancy me when I don’t fancy myself!