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Original poster

So fed up of trying to find the right bra size

28 replies

brahelp · 25/04/2024 10:58

Much bigger problems going on in the world but this is really getting me down and I’m feeling a lot of pain and discomfort.

I’m mid 30s and a size 16-18. After my dc I measured myself using the boob or bust method and was 36F- couldn’t even get the bra over my head so used the sister size and went to a 38E.

38E for a few hours is fine but then I start feeling like I’m being suffocated and end up with deep red marks all over my breasts.

So a few months ago I had enough and thought that’s it no more underwire- I’ll go for comfort with wire free bras etc and everything was ok but the last week my boobs have been feeling so tender heavy and sore like they’re being stretched to oblivion and now I’m trying to find my size again.

I decided to go smaller on the band and bigger in the cup because whatever size I wear I have so much spillage at the top- today I’ve bought 36G and while the cup area is a lot more comfortable the band is moving around and riding up!

What do I do now? I’m not near any fitting shops! Help me please! I’ve wasted so much money on expensive bras….

OP posts:
Whatevershallidowithmylife · 25/04/2024 11:05

Different styles of bras mean different sizes for me. I use bra extenders as I can never get the right size on cup and band.

henlake7 · 25/04/2024 11:06

It sucks, doesnt it? I hate bra shopping...and the death of the big high st chains really doesnt help as you need to try them on in person as sizes seem different for every shop and style!
The only thing you can do is head to big store and try on as many as possible and if you find one that works....buy 10 of them!!LOL

dementedpixie · 25/04/2024 11:12

@brahelp if the band is riding up that means the band is too big. Have you tried measuring again?
I tend to be a 36 back and then either a GG or H cup depending on the brand/cup style

midgetastic · 25/04/2024 11:13

I like the original Molke bras

all day comfort

I think they cope well across a number of traditional sizes which means if you get fluctuations in size due to hormones they still work , or if you are not 100% symmetrical ( and who is ) - both reasons why traditional bras may be uncomfortable

They give a good natural shape

AtomicBlondeRose · 25/04/2024 11:15

You say you couldn’t get it over your head - what sort of bra are we talking here? Because a traditional bra shouldn’t be able to be removed like that anyway! That’s why they clasp at the back. Sorry if I’m missing something, but a bra that is the right band size won’t be able to be removed without unclasping because otherwise it would be too big.

Ginkypig · 25/04/2024 14:16

I use measuring as a start point! Iv spent the last 2 months trying to find a bra I feel fits right at a price I can afford or actually want to pay as they don’t last nearly as long as they should nowadays.

I personally don’t think we have a bra size anymore like we used to. Every brand and style fit differently from each other now so I just use it as a guide but then find a particular bra that fits properly and that is the size I am in that one but another bra might be a different back or cup from the first bra.

iv found you start with the size you measured and then if you like a style try different combinations of cup to back until you find a fit.
if that style doesn’t work no matter the combination it’s not the one for you so start again with another one.

the back shouldn’t be moving though so go down a back size and if that works then you go up a cup or even two if you still have spillage.

I tried all the big shops but surprisingly found one that fitted really well and looked good at peacocks (not sure if there’s one near you) it was only £14

i found m&s own brands were terrible quality, nothing at all as good as they used to be.

cheesepleasegromit · 25/04/2024 20:23

You need to go to bravisimmo!

Original poster
brahelp · 26/04/2024 21:03

Thank you everyone for your replies and tips. @AtomicBlondeRose sorry I meant when putting the bra on I put it over my head with the clasp done up already. My hand eye coordination isn’t very good so I wouldn’t be able to put a bra on any other way! Maybe that’s the problem?

This week alone I have bought 7 bras- 3 different sizes and from all of them the 36G is the most comfortable- it’s not perfect but a lot better than what I’ve been enduring recently!!!

OP posts:
LiterallyOnFire · 26/04/2024 21:14

brahelp · 26/04/2024 21:03

Thank you everyone for your replies and tips. @AtomicBlondeRose sorry I meant when putting the bra on I put it over my head with the clasp done up already. My hand eye coordination isn’t very good so I wouldn’t be able to put a bra on any other way! Maybe that’s the problem?

This week alone I have bought 7 bras- 3 different sizes and from all of them the 36G is the most comfortable- it’s not perfect but a lot better than what I’ve been enduring recently!!!

Can't you do the clasp up at the front and then turn it round?

anothermnuser123 · 26/04/2024 21:23

@brahelp you definitely will not be able to put a properly fitted bra on over your head, they are meant to be snug to support.

I think molke is a good suggestion or perhaps posting on the boob or bust facebook group for suggestions. Maybe asking for recommendations for front fastening bras.

It may also be worth going into bravissimo if you have one near you in order to get fitted for size first, they may also have front fastening suggestions.

@LiterallyOnFire again if you have a properly fitted bra, you would not be able to put it on backwards and spin it, if you can do that then it is too big in the band.

AtomicBlondeRose · 27/04/2024 14:06

That was what I was thinking - you shouldn’t be able to get a correctly fitting bra over your head when done up! Because it’s meant to be very close fitting to almost the narrowest part of your torso, so there absolutely shouldn’t be room for your arms and head, and definitely shouldn’t be able to go down over your breasts. You shouldn’t even be able to pull it up over your boobs when fastened. It should barely move at all.

Sounds like a front fastening bra would be a good thing for OP.

Tiedietop · 27/04/2024 14:43

Look for front fastening bras if you struggle with the clasp! As others have said a properly fitted bra definitely wont go on over your head unfortunately.
I know you said there's no shop near you that offer fitting but it really is worth making the trip if you can.
I find ann summer's surprisingly brilliant for bra fitting. Every one I've been in has had very knowledgeable and friendly staff, their bras are very good quality and very reasonably prices and it one of the few places I can find bras in my size that are actually pretty!

hellswelshy · 27/04/2024 14:51

I fee your pain op. After wearing a 36C for years, I mistakenly picked up 2 in this size from M&S and the gave me severe rib/chest pain as too tight. I've measured myself and come out as 40A! So bit the bullet and tried on a load in M&S. The conclusion? I'm a 40B in a non padded, and jury's out on padded so I've ordered a 40B and 40A online to try. So as pp's have said, it will be different for different styles of bra and different brands. I tried a Rosie at M&S bra on, these are the ones I've ordered as they felt really comfortable but cute to look at as well.

Foxy1616 · 27/04/2024 14:56

brahelp · 26/04/2024 21:03

Thank you everyone for your replies and tips. @AtomicBlondeRose sorry I meant when putting the bra on I put it over my head with the clasp done up already. My hand eye coordination isn’t very good so I wouldn’t be able to put a bra on any other way! Maybe that’s the problem?

This week alone I have bought 7 bras- 3 different sizes and from all of them the 36G is the most comfortable- it’s not perfect but a lot better than what I’ve been enduring recently!!!

As everyone else has said, trying to put a bra on over your head is a major problem - a properly fitting bra will not go on like this, especially if you are a larger cup size. (I have 10” difference between overbust &underbust - if it’s going to be snug enough underbust then there is no way it can possibly stretch enough to get it on over my head!) If you have to have a bra that you put on over your head, look at molke or similar “bralette” styles but they simply cannot give you full support
have you looked at front fastening styles? They will not give you quite the same support as a true back fastener but better than the crop top bralette styles! Bravissimo do online fittings which could be useful for you

Ambergrease · 27/04/2024 14:59

I can’t do bras up at the back, either. I find doing the clasp up at the front and twiddling it around my chest works as long as my skin is dry - and yes, I am wearing a small enough band (28H, as fitted by Bravissimo).

Rocknrollstar · 27/04/2024 15:08

You definitely need to go to a store and be measured to find the right size eg John Lewis or Bravissimo. also, consider wearing a sports bra (no fastenings) or a front opening bra.

LaMarschallin · 27/04/2024 15:09

I can't do my bra up at the back either so I'm another who does it at the front and moves it around.
As did Victoria Wood, if her song Baby Boom is accurate:

"Oh flip, I need to get a grip
I’ve never learned to ski or punt (go easy)
Ooh aah, I fasten up me bra
By twizzing it around the front (how sleazy)"

I've found it difficult to locate ones that do up at the front ("front loaders" an ex used to call them) so following for suggestions.

mustwashmycurtains · 27/04/2024 15:20

I've not tried these but considering one - https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0C23538R4/ref=twister_B076Y19J8H?th=1&psc=1

And OP consider buying bra extenders - then you could buy one that's the right size but the extra length might make it easier to get used to doing it up at the back (as it makes the back 2 inches longer)

Deludamol · 27/04/2024 15:21

I fasten mine at the front and swivel it round too. Bralettes, I pull up like a skirt rather than try and get them over my head.

After many years of hopeless bra shopping, I now always get my bras from the same place in the same size. It's not foolproof, but I find religiously sticking to the same brand means they're more likely to fit and be comfortable.

You've got my sympathy. I've been about ready to have a nervous breakdown trying bras on before.

Portakalkedi · 27/04/2024 15:34

Agree OP, it's such a chore finding new bras, you can try the same size in 10 different brands and each one seems like a completely different size. Not sure you'd get any bra over yourhead while done up though! I've always fastened at the front and turned round, why would anyone struggle behind their back anyway?

FinallyHere · 27/04/2024 16:28

Book a days holiday and a day trip to <a class="break-all" href="http://www.rigbyandpeller.com" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.rigbyandpeller.com

Totally life changing. Honestly. Don't waste any more time. You are totally worth it.

pelotonaddiction · 27/04/2024 18:51

I do mine at the back and don't know if this helps

I grab the bra, one thumb is on the middle hook, the other is on the middle eye
Reach behind my back and hook the two together which is easy as my thumbs are on it
Then the others are easy to do as they're just either side of it
Straps up, scoop/swoop and done

(Disclaimer if you can't reach due to medical issues etc...)

SecondHandFurniture · 27/04/2024 19:50

If you're wasting money spent it on fuel/train and go for a day out to somewhere with a Bravissimo/Rigby and Peller/independent shop (NOT M&S). I am a 32FF and would never have tried on anything above an E off my own back in a million years.

RavenT · 27/04/2024 20:23

I feel your pain OP.
My bras have suddenly started to feel uncomfortable (riding up, cup spillage and wires digging in). I too have spent the last 2 weeks ordering and returning bras. I've measured and used that as a starting point, but it varies so much dependent on bra and brand.
I've kept 2 but they still don't feel they're right.
I'm 47 and finding my boobs bigger than ever and am considering a couple of non wired bras to wear around the house as a relief!