I need some sort of intervention

[IRememberWhenThisWasAllFieldsAndCakePunching]

I’ve changed my username and added photos because I’m stuck in a rut and feel like I’m on the cusp of something. I’m 36 but feel old, and look dated (as well as fat and frumpy 😭)

how do I dress more on trend? I don’t want to be trendy but I want to dress not like a receptionist. For context, the orange top is the outfit I wore to a protest folk singer gig. Looking like a school Secretary.

I have very sensitive teeth but could really do with them being whiter - can anyone recommend a toothpaste that would be gentle?

is an eyelash lift worth it?

I really need to lose 3 stone.

I have sensitive teeth and use Sensodyne Clinical White which has made a noticeable different to my caffeine / red wine staining.

You really don’t look like you weigh 103kg!

No toothpaste is going to properly whiten your teeth without peroxide and generally whitening toothpastes are not potent enough. They can remove stains, but they can’t whiten the tooth colour. I had my teeth whitened using ‘enlighten’ from the dentist. The kit comes with desensitising stuff to apply if you have sensitive teeth. It is expensive though, my dentist charges £600.

Crest strips are really effective too, and you can buy a sensitive teeth version.

I agree on longer dresses. You have a lovely shape, gorgeous hair, beautiful eyes and colouring. You look stunning in that black dress ! Your skin looks good, you look younger than your age. In the outfit with the red top, I think it’s the skirt that makes the combination look a bit dated.
Longer dresses and skirts would really suit you, as would wide-leg trousers. A fitted shirt with wide-leg trousers in particular, you are tall so that would look great. A really well fitting bra helps with overall shape. I think you’d look amazing in vivid greens.
Go and have a big trying on session, have a look in Zara, & Other Stories, John Lewis, and just try different shapes and colours. Try on anything that appeals even if it feels out of your normal comfort zone. I honestly think this is just a confidence issue, you are a good looking woman , have a bit of fun with clothes .

You look fabulous in the black dress so I’d lean into that classic/nigella/hourglass sort of style.

Orange jumper and skirt combo not really doing much for you at all, jumper hits at the wrong point on your middle, cut too high on the neckline, and the skirt isn’t a flattering length, try a pencil skirt. I don’t think orange is your colour, either.

Regarding lash lift, they’re expensive, short lived and you can develop an allergy to them. I would get some DIY lash dye (eyelure do a cheap one which boots sell) and then a set of heated lash curlers. I have some from a brand called Style pro and they’re amazing, battery powered but do such a good job, and cost per use over time is much better than a chemical lash lift. Link here; https://www.lookfantastic.com/stylpro-heated-eye-lash-curler/14227029.html?affil=thggpsad&switchcurrency=GBP&shippingcountry=GB&affil=thgppc&kwds=&thg_ppc_campaign=71700000115441482&adtype=pla&product_id=14227029&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD-fXipauoi4a10RNTIFF3qhOz_IR&gclid=Cj0KCQjwlZixBhCoARIsAIC745D2o-d1jCZn4-4woeFIrnzb_r5RQQIxLwOPkGT3842jG-SF3MvUGbYaAiPmEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

You do look lovely, I am a similar shape and understand the difficulties of trying to dress more on trend, most just don't fit and unless fitted at the waist they make you look huge.

I'd suggest finding some silhouettes that you like and work for your lifestyle. Don't worry about them being on trend, you can make yourself current with colours /textures/accessories until the bombshell look comes back into fashion.

Try to avoid the black bottoms with coloured top, it's deemed safe and easy but is uniform fodder.

Re your weight, you don't look it so it shouldn't figure in your styling but I understand you probably want to lose for health reasons. Get the most supportive but comfortable underwear you can find to help streamline your figure, I find this makes more clothes available to me - but do put comfort above shape!

You're naturally beautiful, you don't need to do the v heavily made up lash / tan etc look unless you really want to. I don't think doing it will enhance your beauty in any way, it is just a look.

I have a similar shape and it's really hard to dress unless you're into the 50s look. I find I have to balance out something fitted (so I don't look huge) with a very manly coat or jacket (so I feel like myself). PP's suggestion of open shirt over tight vest is a good one. Thin flowy shirt/ blouse tucked into high waisted jeans/ trousers is another option. I find Oliver Bonas stuff works well for hourglass. I agree the black dress suits you brilliantly.

You are naturally very beautiful and you have a young (baby) face. You have great hair and great skin.
You look great in the black dress with the v neck that accentuates your curves. If I were you I'd focus on clothing and dressing for your figure, and wearing colours that suit you (I don't like the orange- it's too bright).

Perhaps book in for a session at a makeup counter and learn how to apply a nice, light daytime look. I have tried teeth whitening (through my dentist) but I can't say it was that successful.

You look lovely. Fabulous thick, shiny hair. An hourglass figure. Keep your skin hydrated, and use sunscreen to hold onto your natural good looks.

I look at this stylist on YouTube. Melissa Murrell (mmpersonalstyling) She is very interesting in how she adapts/tweaks outfits to suit your shape and show your figure to its best. Clothes aren’t bespoke (normally), so the tweaks of pins, shoulder pads that are easy to fit over your bra strap, use of belts, things to hold longer trousers or sleeves in a flattering length are interesting. The elongator things which extend your buttons on skirts and blouses are handy too. Sometimes a looser fit is more flattering.

Now she may look at women who have problems you don’t, but it is very informative about how best to flatter your shape/best bits.

https://www.youtube.com/@mmpersonalstyling/videos

You look great in the black dress photograph, that style suits you. The orange top is good, suits your figure, but you don't want to be smoothing it down over your hips and teeming with a knee length skirt. You need to tuck in or go for waist length tops. You are very pretty and have great hair.

Please don’t be so down on your yourself op!

You look lovely! You have such a lovely smile too and beautiful eyes!

Enjoy your youth and beauty! 💐

If you want any advice from an old grey baggins of 60 who has gone to seed; the only thing I wished I had done at 35 was start a gentle regular exercise or dance routine and stuck to it. Ate more veg. Got more sleep. Drank more water.

Not saying you need to, because you look really lovely as you are, I’m saying it’s these simple but important things done consistently over time that make the most difference of all to your health and wellbeing. In other words, reserve a bit of time for yourself two or three times a week.

I'm sorry but if @IRememberWhenThisWasAllFieldsAndCakePunching weighs 103kg and is 5 7" the NHS BMI scale shows that as BMI 35 which is obese and bordering on severely obese.

It's not helpful to ignore this and say she looks great, when she knows she's overweight and it's a massive health risk.

Apologies OP if you mistyped those figures and I've misunderstood.

You have lovely hair and skin. Your teeth look fine but if you want them whiter, see your dentist.

The first thing to focus on is losing the weight. Cut out refined white carbs, focus on protein and fruit and veg. Don't snack or eat sugary rubbish.

Get some exercise if you can every day and do some weights at home (dumb bells, squats, whatever, for a few mins every day.)

I’m loving all the clothes related things. I think because at the moment, the trend seems to be sort of crop level tops etc, I feel even less relevant because I can’t wear those styles due to my lower stomach overhang!

the poster above is correct, while my shape allows me to carry an awful lot of weight before I start looking terrible, the fact is I am very overweight, which does need addressing.

In terms of bra measuring, where does one go? The nearest M&S to me is 20 miles away, no bravissimo even in my area of the country 😂

If you have a larger lower stomach (which I can't see on the photos) pulling a tight top down over it doesn't hide it anyway (ask me how I know!) The thing to do is to avoid any cling over the 'offending' area, so cropped to the waist top worn with something that's looser below the waist. A line or softly gathered rather than straight skirts, or if you want a straight look to your skirt, ruching and wrap effects are your friend.

Echo previous comments you're stunning.

Aesthetic wise - what styles do you like?

Think about colours and cuts. I'm always reading about dark academic on here - I think that was my teenage aesthetic ish.

I'm all about the vintage too - there's some great accounts on insta for that kind of inspiration.

I remember after having kids when the moment came I needed to reclaim / refund my style. I'd started wearing anything in the maternity section and sort of trying to look like an adult but was so far from me.

Just order from the Bravissimo website.
They can do virtual fittings too I believe which sounds great if you aren't near one.
Send back what doesn't work but I would certainly ask their advice. I love their Niya bra but different styles work on different people.
Curvy Kate is a great brand too, lots of options.

As a fellow hourglass I wear a lot of midi dresses. But today I'm in straight jeans, loose shirt tucked in and a loose fit cardigan, which all looks fine together.

The only thing that I would suggest is that you buy things you fucking love, rather than because they're there and they fit. It dosn't look like any of those outfits were bought because you said wow I HAVE to have that. I think that's why you're giving yourself receptionist vibes - when I've done reception jobs I rarely wore anything I loved but wore things because they were generic officey clothes and that felt like a safe choice.
Is there a colour or a style that grabs you? Maybe it's jewellery rather than clothes? Or accesories? One joy of being 36 and not 26 if that you know it's fine to ignore what's 'in' and to focus on what suits you and your style.
You've got a great hourglass figure and lots of hair. You could go very glam, very old school Hollywood if you wanted. Or 'Mob Wife' for a more recent twist on dressing up a bit.

You look great OP!

I did a mini-makeover a few years ago and felt better for it. The key things were: teeth whitening, eyebrow shape and new hairdo.

I also saw a personal stylist earlier this year and had a colour analysis - really enjoyed it!

Immediate thing to do is go through your wardrobe and sort out what doesn't fit (if tailoring not an option then donate, sell or get rid) and doesn't make you feel good. The smallest changes make a big difference e.g. in my case, swapping out washed out leggings with holes for new ones.

I've been using Shop Style to create a wishlist and am steadily buying items when I can afford them (I set up sales alerts):

https://www.shopstyle.co.uk/

I'd also recommend Depop and Vinted for selling things that don't suit you and building up a new wardrobe. Good luck!

I think you'd suit a fabulous 1950s style fitted swing dress. Have a look at the brand Lindy Bop - there are some for sale on Vinted.

I think you look really lovely but you can easily drink more water, tone up with white bearing exercise (great for a glow too!) and invest in some nice classic clothes to boost your image, some simple makeup to boost features (beautiful eyes and smile)..

If I were you I wouldn't be unhappy but you are so:

• Clean up your diet, dump the junk food and cut down on your portions

• Moisture, moisturise, moisturise

• Regular trims at the hairdressers, it just needs a little bit done and it's a real boost to how you look and feel

• if you need to keep on trend clotheswise, prowl the internet and windowshop, but try not to be overly influenced by fashion, remember what suits your figure

• last but not least, remember comparison is the thief of joy so don't compare yourself to the waifs you see in the media.

I'm not any arbiter of fashion but every little bit helps 🙂

I agree with everyone else. You are an absolute knockout.

You say mountains and I'm thinking Wales. Are you possibly descended from a love child of Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton? You're very strongly feminine and powerful yet very natural at the same time.

I do style analysis as a hobby business for friends and family. I’ll give you a brief outline of what I’d say to one of them. Oops,I got carried away, sorry.

You have a very sensual look. Really grown up and sexy. Dressing up for big events like weddings and black tie is probably pretty easy for you. The casual side, more of a challenge. That's perhaps why the more casual gig outfit was hard to get right.

The thing to do is to buy good quality casual stuff and show your waist. Fitted cardigans (yes, that 50’s shape as @TellingBone and @Cauliflowery said) and jeans (not cropped – too girlish on you). A biker jacket style cardigan would work. Jeans or cords – you can do a wider leg if the fabric is not too stiff. And a feminine blouse or loose shirt. Something like this or this.

The 1970s vibe that is coming around could work for you. * Try those high-waisted jeans/ trousers. You really need high-waists to properly clear and showcase your figure. And look for curved edges on clothing – a fitted jacket with a curved cut-away closing. This type of thing.

Look for larger-scale, realistic florals where the flowers are spaced out not all blending together. Also Ikat style prints. The type Kirstie Allsopp often wears...

Black lace is gorgeous on you, but not really a staple of the casual wardrobe. Avoid anything that reads as mannish like checks or brogues.

Try heavier knit tops for Summer – rather than flimsy t-shirts. M&S are good for this. See here and here. (The sleeves all seem to end at the bust line, which will look awkward on you. Shame.)

Anything too cheap, flimsy or floppy is going to drag you down. You need fabrics that are smooth and tactile and that drape and cling to your fabulous curves. Avoid hairy or stiff or floaty fabrics.

@CaraMiaMonCher ^^ is right when she says that the orange top hits at the wrong point on your body – your clothes will be more flattering coming to the waist rather than the hip. And, yes, the orange colour is not good on you.

And the shoes are not helping. Keep to a curved line in everything you wear eg these black, heeled boots (they also have grey).. I'm sure you know that you look great in heels.

For trainers maybe a flatform trainers like these or these. They are both rounded in shape and have some visual weight to them so they won't look silly on you.

The skirt you have on with the orange top is too straight in cut. It fights against your body shape. A pencil skirt or a wrap skirt would be better. You could also do a long unstructured pleat skirt. Like this, but in a different colour. That’s a useful casual style for you when you are sick of jeans.

If you like black and grey and they look good on you, plus your mum mentioned ‘jewel’ tones, then explore the colour analysis season ‘Jewel Winter’. Those are the cool, bright colours.

I have a piece on my website explaining how colour works – DM me if you want a link. Or Google something up.

You may find that you feel better in one colour top to toe. Or in a pattern and a plain that picks out one of the same colours. Rather than in 2 sharply contrasting colours. You don’t want to cut yourself in half visually (although this looks great on some people).

Oh – and for a casual, weatherproof coat; look for something with a more ‘tailored’ or semi-structured feel and make sure there is some definition at the waist. Something like this perhaps.

I’ll stop now. Although there’s plenty more I could say.

I truly hope you find this useful.

Everyone deserves to feel good. And anyone who wants to enjoy clothes should have the tools to do so.

Warm wishes to you and good luck. You're gorgeous - enjoy it. GQ. xx