In so uncool. Help!

[Darkdiamond]

OK I've two questions in one. One is style, the other is more fitness but I'm putting it here anyway. The kind of go together

OK, my body shape is weird. I'm 41, 5 foot 4, around 9 stone and have a small frame. I've a small waist and narrow shoulders. I've also got a weird combo of wide, misshapen hips, a flat bottom and flabby, fat thighs which are disproportionate from the rest of me. I wear midi dresses all year around, cinched in at the waist (with tights and boots in winter, sandals/converse in warmer months). I often throw a large cardigan over the top and am starting to look like someone who is dressing up as a stereotypical 'old granny' for Halloween.

I would love to be trendier and a bit more cutting edge. The style I love the most is just jeans and a t shirt but I don't even own any jeans as they all look awful on me. All of them. Every style, I've tried them. Even skirts and tops look awful (something to do with my hips).

Midi dresses are literally the only clothes that cover all of my imperfections and flatter my good bits. I just want to modernise the look and have no idea how to do it. Help me bring the midi dress up to date!

Next question. I hate exercise but really need to tone up my legs. Any tried and tested exercises that any of you had used on VERY flabby legs that started showing results quickly?

Thanks!

Not sure about the midi dress as I'm a jeans and t shirt person.
However you cannot spot reduce, you need to eat healthy, exercise and you'll gradually reduce the areas you don't like. By exercise I've had a lot of success with a combination of cardio, walking will do, and strength training. That doesn't have to be heavy weights, bodyweight will do. Lots of squats, lunges, glute bridges. I'd recommend an app like FITON which is what I use, it's free and there are tons of great workouts.

Walking

I never had much in the way of legs, I took up walking for health/exercise , then got a job as a waitress and my legs are now sticks

Still have a round belly :)

Lunges and Squats will also help and you can do those whilst waiting on the spuds to boil or in an advert break

Re style, have you tried dungarees? Are your midi dresses printed? I love midis but I find that 'ditsy' print or other florals are quite frumpy. Nobody's Child do some nice non-floral ones. Maybe a cropped jumper rather than a cardigan?

I don't think dungarees would do my flat bottom any favours but thanks for thinking outside the box @Bdaybdilemma !
I love a floral but you're right, that be adding to the 'grandma' feel

cover all of my imperfections and flatter my good bits

This is what’s holding you back from stylishness.

The ‘midi dress’ covers such a wide range of looks, moods, vibes, etc - but you’re only buying one because you think it’s flattering to your waist. And waisted dresses are mostly a bit unfashionable right now. Fashionable dresses are those dismissed as ‘sacks’ by 99% of S&B posters.

What you actually want (possibly) is things that add width at your shoulders to balance out your hips - though I don’t think obsession with your physical shape should dominate your shopping choices.

This is waisted - but also wide at the shoulders:

Batsheva dress

But mostly I’d suggest considering these sort of shapes:

Klements

KZ - scroll down for photos

YMC photo below where the wide sleeves broaden the top half.

Others will have useful stuff to say on jeans. And exercise.

So this site has loads of midi dresses in bright colours and fun patterns, definitely not grannyish.

I've had my eye on this one for a while and it's now pre-order only but there's loads of other lovely dresses on there.

https://dlsb.co.uk/collections/day-dresses/products/the-girl-is-wild-navy-multi-floral-print-midi-shirt-dress

https://dlsb.co.uk/products/spot-my-baby-red-leopard-print-midi-dress

I agree with most of your post but I disagree on weights. To really change the body shape you need heavy weights. To build glutes and get rid of the flat bum you need to do heavy hip thrusts, RDLs and lunges.

This will also tighten the legs. You need heavy weights to add breadth to the shoulders abs back and overall bring balance.

I love this!

How about these jeans?

https://www.boohoo.com/basics-high-waisted-wide-leg-jeans/GZZ64014.html?color=432

Like the first dress but the unwaisted style means I literally have zero good points to my shape. I would feel even less confident like that, sadly. Tha is for thinking of me though!

The one thing that would help the most (and i speak from experience) is to try and stop seeing your body as a collection of imperfections.
Finding something you like doing with it (whether that be yoga, walking, dancing...)

To continue... this is one of those "What would you think if a loved one spoke about themselves this way" moments.
I'd tell them to be kinder to themself, and that they were a perfectly normal shaped human, who deserves to feel good about themself

I've got the Klements dress Blossom linked to. I agree with everything Blossom says.

The Klements dress gets so many compliments. It's a fabulous dress; it's not like anything I see anyone else wearing. I don't know nor care if it shows my good (physical) points or hides my bad points- it's just such a great dress.

To be fair that's a major running theme on here.

All the "I'm sure it looks fine on the young/tall/slim model" or the "I can't wear that because...." posts.

I can’t see how you can have that flabby thighs at your height and weight (I have the same height and weight and a small frame only my ‘flab’ is all in my bust) so would suspect some of this is psychological.

Have you tried a barrel shape of jeans, where there’s room at the thigh but they are shaped at the waist and taper in at the ankle? Like these:
https://www.cos.com/en_gbp/women/womenswear/jeans/product.arch-jeans---tapered-blue.0969093030.html

Also agree with a PP to maybe think about broadening the shoulders to balance out your two halves. A personal shopper could be a good option, or have a look at Melissa Murrell on YouTube for free styling advice based on body shapes.

But you’re missing the point, @Darkdiamond.

You wrote that you would love to be trendier and a bit more cutting edge.

Presumably because you don’t feel your current wardrobe meets those aims? (We don’t know - we can’t see you.) But so far you’ve rejected even the idea of anything that doesn’t mirror the shape you’re already wearing.

Stylishness isn’t simply a matter of ‘showing off your good bits’. It’s about looking as if you’re aware of evolving trends, and choosing your clothes to give presence. And if you want to change how you look - you’ll need to change the sort of clothes you buy.

Not that you have to, of course. You probably look fine. But you did start a thread …

Your body sounds just fine. Really good in fact. I very much doubt your description of mishapen hips and flabby fat thighs is true. Especially if you weigh 9 stone. It's terrible how we can tell ourselves these things and take them as fact.

I think you need to try some jeans maybe straight leg and just go for it...... What's the worst that can happen?

By the sounds of it you have a similar shape to me including hips and thighs and I wear wide leg jeans and trousers, they suit my body shape and I wear them with a crop top ( the only saving grace to my shape is a flat ish stomach but it’s no toned) or a long sleeve T-shirt or jumper tucked in) I’m in my 40s and think I look ok, I’m never going to set the world on fire with my look but I’m comfortable in my own skin and now appreciate my imperfections and body shape

John Lewis do a free personal shopper service. There's no commitment to buy anything and you get to spend a couple of hours in a lovely room while they bring you clothes you'd have never considered. My experience was a revelation - looking good in items I'd always believed I could never wear (DM passed on some very rigid clothes rules that I've struggled to break). It literally changed how I see myself.