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Original poster

How do you find your "style"?

9 replies

FU40 · 05/04/2024 10:19

I'm 40 and feel like I've totally lost my way. I've put on almost 20lbs in the last year and I just feel terrible in all my clothes. I'm tempted to throw everything away and start again!! But I don't know how to find my "style".

I met a friend at the weekend who tends to wear floral dresses with boots or trainers. She looks great and it really suits her, but I just don't like the look on me. I have another friend who looks great in a simple
Capsule wardrobe of Breton tops, straight leg jeans etc. I love the look, but on me it just looks unstyled and frumpy.

I have a toddler so I've been living in jeggings and sweatshirts and I just look a mess. It's definitely made worse by my weight gain. I saw a mum at baby gymnastics a couple of weeks ago who just looked great in jeans and a jumper. I felt so down because I just never look put together in an outfit that suits me.

I'm 5"8 and about 12 stone. A pear shape so a 12 on top and 14 on bottom. I just can't seem to dress for my shape or find a look that suits me. Bootcut and straight leg jeans, which I thought were meant to compliment a pear shape, just look terrible and shapeless.

I've tried recreating looks that I like from Pinterest on the advice of a friend, but it always just looks a bit crap.

Where do I start?! I'm tempted to get some personal styling online.

Any advice or recommendations for online styling? Thanks!

OP posts:
thedevilinablackdress · 05/04/2024 10:36

This may not be feasible, depending on where you live and getting someone to take toddler for the day, but what I'd do is go to nearest large city/town and go in lots of shops to try things on. NOT to buy. Don't put yourself under that pressure. Go in shops you wouldn't usually. Try things on that you wouldn't usually. See if anything makes you go "oooh, nice".

kinkyredboots · 05/04/2024 10:36

I would say get some personal styling advice online - it is worth it.

I went to a personal stylist a few years ago and it was an eye opener. Finding your style is a bit of a science and it is not what you like but will it suit me. It came down to colours, types of fabrics, shapes etc and it all needs to come together. So I now know I cannot wear pastel colours, delicate flowery fabrics etc. It is finding out if you are a warm, cool, autumn, summer type (loads of videos or advice out there) and a personal stylist will give you a few key concepts on what looks good on you, rather than if you like something.

thedevilinablackdress · 05/04/2024 10:37

Sorry, I realise you said online styling, so feel free to ignore me!

ranchdressing · 05/04/2024 10:40

If you're looking for 'flattering' and complimentary shapes as a starting point then go and figure out your Kibbe body type - it's so much more than just pear.

Check out this video as a starting point: %7CBody%26Style

ranchdressing · 05/04/2024 10:40

The lady I shared above also does only styling sessions if you're happy to spend a bit of money on a consultation

OMGitsnotgood · 05/04/2024 10:48

thedevilinablackdress · 05/04/2024 10:37

Sorry, I realise you said online styling, so feel free to ignore me!

I think the the OP should take your advice if it is at all possible. Ideally taking a friend who would encourage her to try things she might otherwise walk past. Some of my most successful buys have been things i would never have tried on on my own.

That said am also interested in online info.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 05/04/2024 11:54

thedevilinablackdress · 05/04/2024 10:36

This may not be feasible, depending on where you live and getting someone to take toddler for the day, but what I'd do is go to nearest large city/town and go in lots of shops to try things on. NOT to buy. Don't put yourself under that pressure. Go in shops you wouldn't usually. Try things on that you wouldn't usually. See if anything makes you go "oooh, nice".

This is what I’d do.

Personal stylist maybe but with me I’ve made friends with 2 clothes shop owners (boutiques?!) in my area, one I prefer for more casual looks, the other for smarter wear but I go in, see what I like and then buy if I like it. Last summer I saw some jeans which had been reduced but not my usual style and two dresses, one a Greek key one and one an orange and white print one. Both dresses I really liked on me, the orange and white was in a sale but they can be worn for a few years with belts and other accessories.

I think if you do shop with a friend then make sure they will get you to try things on and also they like shopping, one of my best friends I sometimes clothes shop with her but she prefers to do this alone unless we’re shopping and walk/cafe trip.

Definitely go in shops you wouldn’t go in usually as pp said, you don’t have to buy anything.

Workingmytickettoparadise · 05/04/2024 12:13

I agree with trying to get a day to
look around the shops. If that is possible go to the shops and just try anything on that takes your liking. If anything feels like you are wearing a costume and dressing up then maybe that tells you it’s not for you and if it does feel right then maybe it’s for you. Maybe take some pictures of yourself then you can look back and judge whether you suit something or not and then you can buy online.

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