How not to feel like I'm making too much of an effort?

[Ineffable23]

I'm not actually sure that making too much of an effort is quite the right thing to call it.

TLDR: outfit - looks good, or too much? In my head it's too much but I think that is probably my brain being unhelpful.

I've put on weight (and lost a proportion of that weight) over the course of a very stressful COVID in the NHS. It has coincided with me moving from mid-20s to thirty. A crazy level of work as well as pandemic restrictions also meant I spent several years not going out.

I've got an outfit that I think I do look good in but that I have chickened out of wearing more than once. It's both shorter than I usually wear and low cut (though I wear fairly low cut things quite often). I think I feel like it is probably too "sexy" but I am also not sure why I feel like that. Or maybe somewhat too young for me. Or that I am too fat to be allowed to try? I'm not sure any of those are logical feelings but I think they're what's going round in my head.

I've got a date in the day tomorrow, which I don't think it is right for as it is Too Much for the day. Maybe it's too much for the evening too and that's why I am chickening out of wearing it. Especially as fashion has become so casual recently.

Any ideas? I think I would like to feel confident enough to go with it, but equally if it's actually not a good look then I would rather know about it and not be stepping out my comfort zone for something that's not a good look.

Outfit photo attached for reference.

You look awesome! You're right it's not for your day date tomorrow, but you should absolutely wear the dress somewhere in the evening. Looks fantastic on you

Go for it op! It looks great!

You look great but personally think it’s too much. Fashion rules might be a bit passé but I do think “boobs or legs but not both”

You do look great but yes I agree, too much on show for a day date. Legs or boobs. I'd be uncomfortable with a skirt that short even with thick tights. Very easy to flash my mistake.

It’s ok. But you could do better. Not fussed on the pattern.
where is the date?

Just what I was going to say, one or the other, never both!

I would save that dress for a future dinner and drink at yours date as it's pretty sexy

I don’t think it’s too dressy. The pattern makes it more casual. As it’s a day time date I would wear black tights with it. Maybe boots?

You have a great figure by the way.

Or if you want it to be daytime add black tights and boots

Yes I was going to say, perfect for a date at his one night. He won’t believe his luck! But not right for a daytime date in the winter.

Honestly, you're not fat.

You look lovely but I wouldn't wear that dress to meet someone I didn't know.

You’re not fat OP. Seriously. You look healthy and in proportion.

But that outfit isn’t good. It’s too scanty and not very classy. It looks a bit old fashioned, like the sort of thing an off-duty glamour model would’ve worn in 2008. And you don’t want to spend the date adjusting the dress, it’s better to be able to relax and focus on the chat.

I think there's too much flesh on show! I'd suggest similar style dress but longer (to just above the knee) would look better. I'd wear trousers / jeans and a nice top for a daytime meet but then I rarely wear dresses anyway.

Dress is way too short and too low cut , whole thing is out of proportion. You look fabulous, it just doesn't look great.

I would wear it when out with friends, maybe on second date but not the first.

I love it and your figure is gorgeous! Would probably add some black tights though

I think you look lovely, I don’t think it’s too you I think the pattern/style
combo is a bit old fashioned tbh.

if you like that style you can go for a v.westwood style wraparound dress which will have the same look but less dated pattern

where is the date, what’s the vibe?

It’s not too young for you, it’s too old for you. I am very very jealous of your figure though!

I think it would be fine with tights and boots in the day.

Those dresses are designed by men for women who have AA boobs. They look fine on gamine women if all you are showing is a bit of ribcage. I used to be skinny but now am DD and have to sew up the V by about three inches to stop looking like a barmaid in a Benny Hill sketch.

You have fantastic legs. They are literally exactly how I'd like my legs to look. I'd go for something demure on top but mid thigh skirt to show them off.

Middle aged woman here: surely you're freezing in that? Is the day date a tasteful bar or restaurant. Could be OK if he's dressed up too. Otherwise save it for a restaurant. Or a party where others dress up.

You can easily make it more warm and wintry (and less "sexy") with black tights, boots and leather jacket or some kind of chunky jumper. Then it's just a short skirt.

It depends if you want to wow him with your boobs or not. I think it's just way too much cleavage but hewill love it!

Not even on a second date, unless it has a cami under it. I went from flat chested to DD after having kids and had no idea how to dress big boobs. I wore stuff like this without realising how it looked and then realised with boobs on show, men just can't hear a word you're saying and never look at your face. It embarrasses the nice ones and makes the chancers lecherous.

You can wear whatever you like but that dress is not a good look in my opinion.

It’s not how I see young women dressed nowadays. During the day clothes are much more casual - with attention paid to fashionable proportions: so maybe a cropped top and something high waisted. And going out at night clothes would look more glamorous and colourful. So to me your outfit looks like something from another era.

But it may be that your date doesn’t care about fashion and will only focus on how much of you they can see while you’re wearing it.