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Anyone else ever just had enough?

8 replies

LadyPoncenbyFroglett · 15/03/2024 20:36

I've never been high maintenance but have had a moderate amount of fucks to give about how I look. I have been lucky to look decent with good skin and naturally slim, etc, so haven't had too many challenges.

However, I don't think this is so much about getting older (I am 50 this month), rather an absolute growing inability to keep giving a damn. If I look decent and clean and look after myself, I am getting less and less arsed about previous efforts to keep up.

Example: my nails. I always bit them, from childhood, and regardless interventions, it always came back. I have always been ashamed of them and hidden them or worn false nails. After a severe period of stress I actually bit them down so badly that it disabled me with pain. I am so tired of patching them up and am happy to go forward with short, clean nails that I hope to repair. I am tired of being embarrassed.

Another example: my hair. It's longish and blonde, naturally. It is a good head of hair but naturally frizzy. I am sic of hiding this, I hate curly girl as it isn't curly, and tired of straightening as it isnt straight either! I am hoping to just quit altering it and embrace it's natural, healthy if fuzzy state.

I am also fed up of caring about clothes. I wear moderately expensive, well made stuff, and can't see myself embracing high street offerings, but I am happy now to just have a very small selection of practical stuff that's ok.

As I get older I am admiring more and more women who are my age upwards who don't give a fuck. Like many men, they don't spend money on unnecessary skin care, or over think their clothes. They radiate who they are, rather than hiding it, even of that is plain or a bit wild. I just don't care what people think any more. As long as I am presentable I am more interested in who I am and what I do. I was never ruled by male opinion, or anyone else's for that matter, but there is this weirdly liberating thing here that has really changed in me.

OP posts:
Ponks · 15/03/2024 22:31

It's one of the best things about getting a bit older 😊.

LadyPoncenbyFroglett · 15/03/2024 23:56

it sure is, although I see a lot of women going the other way, trying to wind back to youth or laying on some expense. I don't think there is anything wrong with that at all, this is why i think i might be an outlier. I might stand out now as the floppy arsed nobody. But i kind of long for that after being considered attractive and pretty all my life. This unloading of fucks. It feels good.
I see tons of women who don't give a shit and are insanely vibrant and interesting. No shade to those who do give a shit of course.

i guess I just want to be one of those who went past it, without botox and fixes.

OP posts:
CinnamonJellyBeans · 16/03/2024 00:09

Getting older is great! I am still interested in my appearance and fashion, but invisibility has given me an independence I didn't know I was missing.

PullUpTheDrawbridge · 16/03/2024 00:19

I agrée. I was always naturally attractive. Slim but could never be arsed to be toned. Pretty face/ hair but could never be arsed to spend time or money on it. Fashion was cheap and fun, never 'invested in classic pieces' etc. I got away with that while I was young. I kept saying I'd make more of an effort one day. Well, that day never came. But now I'm older and the shine of youth has gone. I keep thinking should i do the Botox now? Should I finally start professionally colouring my hair instead of the random box dyes. Maybe get my nails done like a grown up? God knows I actually need the help now... but? I. Can't. Be. Fucked. I live in woollen cardigans and tracksuit bottoms. I am comfortable all the time. I love it!

LadyPoncenbyFroglett · 16/03/2024 01:34

I know, there's this prototype we are supposed to conform to as we age - keeping the illusion of youth.
But what if age is pretty good too?
No one wants to get older and less able physically, but this is nature. I doubt anyone wishes for the mind they had when young. We just don't want to age because we fear ill health.

I love not being the focus in a room. I always was and was never comfortable with it. My entire youth was stained with this shit that was nothing to do with me - other people's opinions and envy. I was never comfortable with it at the time, so the idea of it now is preposterous. I aged very well, but what the fuck does that even mean? Who for? and how does ageing well benefit me?

I want to live a life with meaning and depth. Where my image is secondary to my value.

OP posts:
Teddleshon · 16/03/2024 01:40

I’ve never cared about my nails, makeup and hair but I have always loved clothes and still do. I really am very uninterested in “fashion” these days though and just wear what I love. Like you OP been blessed with decent natural features.

I absolutely loathe the whole “must have” stuff and so enjoy wearing stuff I’ve had for decades. I feel a bit sad that women sometimes feel the need to embrace stuff that doesn’t suit either them or their lifestyles.

Deathraystare · 20/03/2024 10:52

Most of my friends are retired so a bit older than me. Most are slim and tidy looking. Most do not use make up but do look presentable. One cuts her own hair and it does not look bad!

As I have said on other posts I do not look bad for early 60's (am I really that old??!!). However I never smoked and rarely drink. I am overweight but seem to have lost some. I thought I was looking in a funny mirror but it appears I have lost weight from my face! It was quite chubby before. Luckily it hasn't added any wrinkles. I have laughter lines which don't bother me and the beginning of marionette lines show up sometimes. I do use make up especially around the eyes as I need definition there and tint my hair as I do not believe I suit grey hair.

However, there is no point going down the surgical route as I have arthritis and what is the point of looking younger and I creak and shuffle on a bus??!!

henlake7 · 20/03/2024 11:12

Its just something that happens when you get to your mid forties-fifties I think...the decreasing ability to give a fuck about other peoples opinions!
Its so liberating and just makes you think 'where was this attitude in my twenties when I really needed it!?'😆

It was the opposite for me though. I am very plain and all my life I never made an effort because I felt people would judge me (lipstick on a pig syndrome!!LOL). Now Ive hit 50 and realise that I want to make an effort for me and so Im wearing nice clothes and doing my hair and wearing make up and I feel like the Mutts Nutts.....screw what anybody else thinks!😎

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