Any Aussies on here for help please?

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Hi!

I'm in Australia and I'm just looking for some help with this meetup. (I'm asking Aussies as they will be familiar with the dress culture however advice from anyone is welcome and appreciated).

Background, I'm early 40s, 5'2.5", size 12 bottom, long legs (32" inseam), short back, really big boobs (there's a reason I'm saying this, it's because a lot of outfits can look a bit OTT on me because of my bust). I'm very recently widowed and have terrible social anxiety.

Tomorrow night I'm meeting a colleague whom I've never met before for drinks at 6pm in a local-ish pub/restaurant. The nature of my job means that i have a lot of colleagues who, although i have never met in person, I have dealings with on the phone/email etc. She is about 10-12yrs younger than me. She has reached out to me since my husband passed, and we have decided to meet up for drinks.

What I need help with is that I have absolutely no idea how to dress for it. It will probably be about 24° so warm enough but chilly in the shade or if there's a breeze. I don't want to underdress and looks scruffy (my stable wardrobe is jeans, t-shirt, converse), but similarly I don't want to overdress and look ridiculous. 6pm is such a tricky time, but we will likely be there until "night" when it's more acceptable to be a bit glammed up, when the tradies will have gone home and the "night out" people will be there. Like if I turn up in jeans and she is wearing a dress and sandals I'm going to feel really awkward. But likewise the other way round.

Sorry for the rambling long post. I know I'm overthinking this, and this is a whole lot of words to ask what to wear to the pub, however it is so long since I have been out anywhere. And literally the first time in years that I have met someone new. I just want to feel comfortable but also "nice".

Any help or advice much appreciated x

*staple wardrobe

Also, I'm blonde and fair tanned skin if that helps.

Hey, Aussie here in my mid-40s. Where are you going for drinks? For example if I was meeting in a pub I'd wear my wide leg 3/4 jeans with white sneakers and a top.

If it was little more upmarket I'd wear different (longer rolled up) jeans with flats and a top with jacket or long skirt with sandals.

I'm more of a dress down than up person though and feel much more confident in casual clothes.

I hope you have a fun night with your colleague.

@Fooksticks thank you!!

It's a suburban pub/restaurant. Will likely have tradies in for after work drinks, then more of a going out crowd/out for dinner and drinks etc from 7pm ish.

Do you mind showing me an example of your 3/4 jeans? All my jeans are shamefully Levi skinnies in several colours so I'd love to see an example of a different style, and what sort of top you'd pair them with? You've just reminded me to chuck my white sneakers in the laundry tonight!! So thanks for that also

For example, are these the kind of jeans you mean?

https://justjeans.jgl.com.au/shop/originals-high-rise-wide-ankle-jean?colour=Mid%20Bluebird&cqsrc=googleeads&cqcmp=18535282449&cqqterm=&cqplac=&cqqnet=x&cqplt=gp&gaddsource=1&gclid=CjwKCAiA6KWvBhAREiwAFPZM7tooUbRjswY36iB80cIU4-OE-fOLJgSqyIUAlswD9nrWbucmpuF5xoC5fMQAvDD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

You are way too much overthinking this. You are meeting a colleague at a pub straight after work. Just wear your usual work attire. As long as you don't arrive wearing a tiara and a sequin dress, you'll be fine.

Thanks, I'm not meeting them from work. If I was I'd get some strange looks as I'd be in a uniform that I'm not allowed to wear into a licensed premises unless I'm on duty 😂.

It's Friday drinks. I've already said that I know I'm overthinking it. I know it seems trivial to other people, but for me, it's meeting someone I don't really know properly (haven't met in person), and I literally haven't done this in years, and certainly not on my own or since my husband died. I always had him to bat off. I suffer from terrible social anxiety, and I know I seem sheltered and a bit pathetic, but I just don't want to be over or under dressed and was just looking for some advice/ideas.

Thank you for replying though.

You are overthinking, just wear what you are comfortable in. Aussies tend to be more casual than UK people, a nice top, jeans or linen trousers, and flat shoes is my going-to-the-pub outfit. Or a dress and thongs. Bring a light cardi if you think it might get cold in the evening. Have fun!

And I am sorry for your loss. That must be very hard.

Look for a Facebook group called
Let me try before you buy
Natalie - is amazing! She is natural and normal and has great try ons for many brands and I know you will find clothes to suit your shape and our climate!

Here is her page. I'm sorry for your loss :(
I too lost my husband and it sucks

I'm so sorry for your loss. Australia is pretty casual for a Friday evening at a pub. Jeans, slacks, a nice top or even a t-shirt is fine. Don't overdress. Nobody else does.

I split my time between the UK and Oz and I would say in general the dress codes are very similar. If in doubt I would err on the casual side.

I’m very sorry you’ve had such a tough time and completely understand why you feel a bit anxious. Hope you have a lovely evening.

I'd always go jeans and dressy top if in doubt. Comfortable, and if they are in work pants and top I'd feel only slightly under-dressed. If they are in shorts and tshirt/summer dress I'd feel slightly dressier, but not uncomfortably so.

I would wear a floral summer dress and denim jacket or shirt when it gets cooler.

You know what, nobody is worried about what you're wearing. Honestly, everyone is so wrapped up in their own shi_t that they won't do more than glance you over, and as long as you're not dressed as a giant chicken, they won't even register which jeans you chose to put on. They don't know who you are, what you do for a living, where you've just come from or where you're going next.

Give yourself a break, you're a good kind person, you're a great friend no doubt, allow yourself to go for a drink with a new friend without tying yourself in a knot about what you look like. You are more than good enough in whatever you wear, take up your space, wear what's comfortable. If that's jeans and a tshirt, then that's what it is, nobody will give a hoot. Have fun x

I wouldn't wear shots for a Friday evening drinks at the pub in a city. You have to know your pubs not to stand out wearing them. Australia is pretty casual, but not so casual on a Friday evening. I wouldn't recommend the OP wearing shorts.

Hey. I used to have social anxiety too, it eased when I found a good group of friends and just got comfortable.

Re dressing up though, I always dress up. I have lots of long dresses in my wardrobe as I find them more comfortable than jeans as got curves and jeans are too tight and restrictive. I wear my good stuff just 'because'. It makes me feel good.

So you do you, wear what you feel good in, be different, so what if people notice you? So what? Maybe you will inspire them to dress in things they really like, maybe you will make them feel like 'it's Friday night, excellent!'

Have fun with your friend.

Jeans and a decent top, flat shoes such as sandals in this weather or decent dress sneakers, is pretty much the uniform for local pubs/restaurants around here (I’m in Aus).

Jeans and nice top or loose ish dress and a denim jacket both work fine. Sandals or nice trainers are fine. I would avoid rubber thongs (flip flops) as not all pubs will let you in once “tradie hour” is over.

I totally understand your social anxiety, you’ve been through a lot. Have a lovely night tomorrow.

These jeans.

https://www.jeanswest.com.au/kelsey-relaxed-capri/5637933579.html?gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIvYrO3IrkhAMVH8sWBR1FXQ33EAQYCiABEgJ_X_D_BwE

If it’s not too late, I’d wear jeans, a roomy blouse or shirt with a scarf around the neck and large earrings. A scarf and earrings seem to walk that fine line between elevated and casual. As for makeup, people are doing skin tints or very very light foundation, natural looking lipstick and blush with eyeliner and mascara. Eyeshadow is not as popular right now cause the young folk are into false eyelashes instead. Also maybe fill in your eyebrows. I hate doing it myself but it’s a ‘thing’