I've really let myself go and need help

[CromartyForthTyneDogger]

A combination of mental and physical health problems over the last few years have meant that I've really let myself go. I’m sure these things become part of a vicious circle - poor health means no energy to do anything except pull on old baggy clothes, look in the mirror, feel awful which saps energy. Rinse and repeat. I want to break the circle.

A bit about me:

I’m 63 years old

I need to lose about 12kg to fall into the health weight category. I’ve just had major surgery and am forbidden by my surgeon to do any exercise except walking until May

I have always been a jeans and tee shirt type of person but actually long for more feminine clothes - I love the dress with opaque tights look (much discussed in the "frump thread", but it can't be as awful as I currently look). I don’t have any dresses in my wardrobe.

I opened my tee shirt drawer this morning and everything is sludgy grey. I really like heather/raspberry/damson type colours

I’ve never worn make up. My DM didn’t allow it when I was a teenager and I never developed the confidence later to learn how to apply and wear it.

The help I need? Well, where do I start? I don’t have much money and I can’t throw everything out and replace it all, but I have about £100 that I could spend.
Any advice and suggestions are welcome.

I would get a haircut, have my eyebrows done (threaded and tinted) and lift and tint my eyelashes. Good old Olay for moisturiser. Tinted lip balm. As a start. Then gradually build on that :)
We all have moments like this, I’m sure you’re not half as bad as you think.

Next sell cotton tshirts in a range of colours for £7. That could be a quick way to perk yourself up.

Start with some small changes - gentle walks and enjoy nature.
Make some lists of what you want to change each week and build habits.
Have a wander around boots and try the different make up brands - a nice tinted moisturiser and some mascara, cream blush and a creamy lipstick to start and watch some YouTube tutorials on how to apply light make up to build your confidence
i personally love a jeans and T-shirt look so why not treat yourself to some new bright t shirts and some straight jeans for an update.

Throw out the clothes that bring you down !
as PP said, eyebrows threaded and maybe a lash lift if budget allows.

I also like using a body moisturiser with a touch if fake tan for a bit of colour.

With weight loss I would concentrate on recovery from surgery first but in time you could read up on fasting and low carb - there are some helpful threads on here about it.

Why? Why does it matter? You need to be healthy to enjoy life but who gives a toss what you wear or about your overall appearance? There’s a small group of people that love you because you’re you, and that wouldn’t change regardless of how you look. The rest of the world have no idea you exist and don’t care. We’re all pretty much invisible past 40 anyway. Embrace it , focus on other things like intellectual pursuits or the arts. I’m skinny but I haven’t been to a hairdressers or worn a dress since I was about 30. Literally nobody notices.its brilliant ! and I was vain as anything and was an actual model as a young woman. Bloody love being 40 and knowing I’d just look stupid if I tried to look sexy now, it’s great. Dungarees, scrunchy get on with something meaningful.

With your budget, makeup wise I'd probably head down to the nearest Boots No7 counter and explain that you've never had the confidence to wear make up, and tell them what your budget is.

Fast 800/Keto is good for rapid weightloss and is anti-inflammatory.

There are walking workout videos on Youtube (Lesley Sansome, Get Fit with Rick). You could get a fitbit and make sure you get at least 8000 steps per day in.

Vinted can be good for clothes but if you'd rather shop in person Tu at Sainsburys and Tesco both do decent quality basics at a lower price point and there's frequently 25% off.

I'm a similar age to you OP. What has finally worked for me, and I find easy to do once you get used to it, is just skip breakfast. That's it. Don't eat till lunchtime ( late brunch occasionally if you're very hungry that day), then don't eat after 7 or 8 pm. I've lost 9 kg slowly so far, and importantly, not put it on again over Christmas and January. My husband has shed over 20kg this way over the last couple of years, so all I can say is it works for us.

That won't cost you anything, in fact it will save you money. Win win! 😊

With regards to brightening yourself up generally, I think most of us can tend to look a bit pasty and careworn at the end of winter. I would keep exfoliating your face and neck with a damp flannel to remove the dead grey skin, then apply plenty of moisturiser. That will perk you up. Then smile at yourself in the mirror. I' take some vitamin D to compensate for the lack of sunlight, and get yourself out in the sun for 20 minutes whenever there is some. Most people in northern Europe get very vitamin D depleted in the winter, recognising this can be life changing.

You are not used to wearing make up, but just a bit of lipstick and mascara can really make a difference, why not give it a go?

Spring is coming, so some brighter clothes will also cheer you up I think. Buy a bunch of daffodils and be happy spring is nearly here. This all helps me, I hope there are some ideas here that work for you. Good luck! 💕

I would also use some of the £100 for a haircut, I find when I get my hair cut then I like to wear different earrings and or necklaces. You could then buy a lip gloss or lipstick and see if you like to wear it.
Then I’d get rid of any really horrible clothes, the ones I really hate to wear. If you don’t have any decent bottom halves then buy yourself some nice jeans or a pair of black or Dansom trousers. You could then wear these with any nice tops you do have or as a PP said buy some new ones in colours you like. So you could buy Burgundy/wine cords from M&S and go from there.
You may like clothes in Apricot, they do a lot of the dresses that can be worn with thick tights. Maybe have a look online at their stuff and then hunt for a slightly older version of it on eBay or Vinted. A blouse in those colours could look good with any bottom halves you already have or any you buy.
I think you could buy quite a bit with £100 and you already knows what colours you like.
Primark and Yours are good for accessories, you could pick up a scarf, necklace or bag in your colour range.
Don’t be too hard on yourself re the weight, it will probably come off if you start to feel a bit better about your clothes and appearance. Its not that much weight either.
Good luck and let us know how you get on.

Start small! Focus on getting better and walking, it will help your state of mind as well as health.
With £100, how about a haircut at a local salon, not too expensive. A couple of T-shirts with shape or nice detail from somewhere like Next are reasonably cheap. £7 someone said?
Make up- start with a tinted lip balm, Nivea and Burts Bees do nice ones, maybe a Bb cream or cc, Superdrug do them. Maybe a little dark brown mascara or a little cream blush.
Nails- file them into shape and a coat or light polish, a very pale, natural pink maybe.
How about a necklace or earrings? Costume jewellery is cheap, Sainsbury’s do nice things.
Have a look , see what you like, a couple of small affordable, additions and you can change it as you get more comfortable and confident.
Good luck!