Help me avoid ruining my face with unavoidable stress

[KnightonShiningArmour]

I’m going through a horrific breakup with my H at the moment. It came completely out of the blue and I’ve been in shock for the last few weeks.

I’ve lost 12lbs in less than 3 weeks (I’m overweight anyway) though the stress of it. My face looks horrific. I’m exhausted, gaunt, wrinkly and old. I’m worried my face is going to stay this way.

I’m 41 and no great beauty, but I’ve taken good care of my face with a solid beauty regime. I’m still doing that but I’m worried about the elasticity of my skin.

Any tips? I’m wearing my worries all over my face at the moment and I hate myself when I look in the mirror.

It’s understandable you’re so stressed. At 41 your face still has elasticity and will recover after this. Give yourself some time. Sorry you’re going through this.

Yes, sorry you’re having such a hard time.

No expert knowledge but I think doing some gua sha with a lovely oil and perhaps using ice rollers would be good for your skin and also is quite nurturing. I follow Britta Beauty on Instagram and she balances gentle self-care with working on the wrinkles etc.

Sorry you're going through a tough time. Alcohol, lack of sleep and eating badly shows on my skin very fast so avoid obvious culprits and work out to relieve stress

It will pass. I have had stressful times which have been writ large on my face. With smoother times comes smoother skin. Just keep up your regime, drink water, minimal alcohol, take a multi vitamin, get sleep, eat nourishing food. Wait for the storm to pass.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time . I'm obsessed with skincare and would say The Ordinary products are a great way to start - if you go on their website they can make a routine just for you - v reasonable too x

No7 Line Correcting Serum has lots of matrixyl which helps collagen so good for elasticity and wrinkles

I look back at photos of myself when I was going though similar and looked awful , ( to be honest I barely recognise myself in them ) much better now .
As others have said this will pass . Take care of yourself , pamper yourself and you’ll be fine .
Im so sorry that you ate going through this .

Best of luck to you OP

Revolution Pro Miracle Night Cream is the absolute bollocks for moisturising. That combined with sleep, fresh air, exercise and water will help. This too shall pass (though sorry you are going through it).

Eat. You probably don’t feel like it (I remember existing on wine and crisps for far too long during a period of trouble) but if you triple the amount of fresh vegetables and quadruple your intake of berries it will help.

Find some distraction - whether swimming or going to an orchestral concert every other night. (Don’t wallow in all Henry James’ and Anthony Trollope’s most heartbreaking works, crying an ocean of tears every day …)

Order some huge bags of magnesium salts for a nightly bath. (You need at least five fistfuls.) Very supportive for skin and metabolism.

Fresh air and exercise will give you the best chance of any sleep at all.

Sympathies …

Can you afford to go for a massage? It sounds as though you are very stressed. Your face will go back to normal, don't worry!

Thank you.

I look so haggard. I’m a Sunday Riley fan and thankfully had restocked on Good Genes just before this but I’m going to have to drop my budget down to Supermarket ranges and similar going forward. Thanks for the affordable tips.

I’m afraid if I go for a massage I’ll turn into a blubbering wreck. I got my hair done and when my scalp was massaged I sobbed uncontrollably. Thankfully my stylist works alone and is very lovely but I don’t have a regular beautician.

On the plus side, I’ve cleared out my wardrobe and bought a few size 12 items. I haven’t been a 12 since I was 18!

Tell us what you’ve bought … Have you shopped anywhere new with your new proportions?

Another thought, borne out of bitter experience, is that your new face and status might crave some new jewellery if you wear any. If there’s a window before you need to embrace a slimmer wallet I’d suggest browsing for some new earrings or a necklace / pendant. Something semi-precious to demonstrate survival and complement your new clothes.

Ah I'm sorry OP, what a rough time.

I had similar when DH died – I lost 6.5 stone in the space of 18 months and although I'm delighted to be slimmer, it did show in my skin (and still does in places). Getting enough sleep, cutting back on alcohol and drinking tons of water helped the most. Plus gradual tanner. It's amazing how much better it makes me look!

Just one more thing I forgot above - going back to the wine and crisps phase - if giving up alcohol is a miserable thought right now, turn your eyes to organic or (even better) biodynamic wine. Fewer additives mean you won’t feel any, or as many, horrible side effects in following days.

I'd get an oil like Neals Yard Rose oil, or Guerlains Midnight Secret and maybe a luxurious moisturiser and also treat myself to facials.

Supermarket ranges like Aldi Q10 are good, also there's an oil, forget which one and not in the list below but it's good for ageing.

[[https://www.healthline.com/health/beauty-skin-care/essential-oils-for-wrinkles.

I'd also scour places like Waitrose for deals on skin/bodycare as they do some great ranges, one has lavender in it.

I got this dress and a few basic tops to go with jeans, trousers. Need to build a capsule wardrobe.

I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since he left. I’m not a big drinker and can see that the answer is never at the bottom of a bottle.

@peachgreen Sorry for your loss. Gradual tanner is a great idea for my face. Even light foundation is dropping into every crack in my face.

Go to Boots and buy one of those glow 'brick'. I used to use the Bobbi Brown Shimmer brick but found an own brand Boots one for a fiver or so and it's every bit as good!
The shade is Bronzing.
It's called 'Collection Gorgeous Glow Block' it says Gorgeous Glow on the lid.
You brush it on over foundation and it gives a subtle dewy reflective glow - but not at all in the fake tan sort of way.

Believe it or not I took a few off my face by giving up sugar. I moved to other forms of sweetener so I didn’t go cold turkey, but my skin improved noticeably