I can’t accessorise

[BedRot]

I’m early 40s and have been through some big changes in the last few years (relationship breakup, lost career due to Covid, long COVID). I’m now rebuilding my self a bit and have just had a wardrobe overhaul to help the ‘new me’ get back out there. I’m really happy with my clothes now but have no idea how to accessorise and never have! All I wear is a wrist watch. I see other women look very elegant with accessories / jewellery but somehow always feel like I have been in the dressing up box when I try it.

I’m single (so have no engagement / wedding rings), warm colouring (gold suits me and silver doesn’t), and although I am tall I only seem to suit thin / delicate jewellery. I am aiming to look as elegant and polished as I can manage. I dress in quite a simple way and like ‘pretty’ things rather than ‘bold’ things iyswim. Colours I like are gold, coral, and warm jewel tones like green, purple, and orange. I have pierced ears but never wear earrings as I always feel they don’t suit me.

What staple items would you suggest to start accessorising? What 2-3 things could help to elevate my look?

Oh, I also have a couple of nice silk scarves but can’t seem to put them on without looking like an air hostess.

Personally I'm not a fan of scarves. Probably feel the same as you about the hair hostess thing.

Accessories don't need to be OTT. I have a rotation of a few simple pendant necklaces I wear. Don't wear any other jewellery. A belt can be good, especially if you tuck tops into your trousers. When you see people on social media, things like bags, shoes and coats are also part of the accessorising too.

Basic gold huggies (mini hoop earrings) - I leave mine in to sleep etc as they’re so comfortable because they don’t have a back

A pendant necklace (or later a few) and similar bracelets from places like Monica vinader, astley Clarke or missoma. Or for less good quality eg gold plated rather than filled you can try places like accessorize

(edited to add - things look better in odd numbers)

I was also going to suggest Monica Vinader. A couple of thin necklaces of various lengths that you can combine if you want would probably work really well.

Also get a couple of nice dress rings if you like wearing rings.

As you’re tall I suggest watching a few Trinny Woodall videos. She does weekly outfit trying videos from her house and it gives me lots of ideas about how to wear things differently. They’re short and sweet and I find her funny.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yFkFSNa7ljI
This is packing for a trip but there are lots.

I don’t really bother with accessories, I think they just end up looking fussy and cluttery if you wear more than one thing!
I do have a few pairs of earrings that I will occasionally wear but other than that I don’t wear jewellery/scarves/brooches etc.

Scarves can be draped or worn snood like. Buy big wrap type scarves. They really elevate. Jeans / joggers and T shirt type outfit . I never tie them like an air hostess! 😂

Thanks everyone! I like all these suggestions, especially the thin necklaces and big scarves. Will also try the Trinny videos. I’ve bought some of her makeup recently and it is great.

what kind of dress rings do people wear?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=39pomK-TAoU&pp=QAFIAQ%3D%3D
Good spring outfits here.
I don’t do lots of jewellery but am big on bags, scarves and sunglasses.

I laughed in sympathy about the air hostess description! I've got scarves thinkng it would be an easy win, and I just can't do it. I have rings but they're too fussy for me as I have to wash and lotions my hands a lot throughout the day, and I use pockets, etc. Bracelets leave me twiddling with them as I can't stop being aware of them. Earrings just bug me. I recently rediscovered two pearl necklaces - most of my jewelry is nice stuff either from my Mum or an actual gift and I was going through it. One fresh water and the other standard, graduated. I've left them out to try to wear them this week, but I already know I'm going to have to bear feeling a little too fancy!

Im a scarf fan....I probably have far too many but they are a cheap way to change up your outfit.
When it comes to jewellery though I have hardly any. Mine is mostly all silver, sometimes with amber or rose quartz stones.....and I never do rings coz I have one of those jobs where you cant wear any!

I 2nd huggie earing. I got out the habit of wearing earings and felt i needed to wear something. So bought a set and haven't taken them off. They go with everything and i dont catch them on anything. So win win. Least you can leave them in and get into the habit of having something there.

I like the sound of the earrings. Is Huggies a brand or just a style / type of hoops?

https://mejuri.com/gb/en/shop/products/beaded-hoops-2

i have these which I love. I wear them everyday and sleep in them.

Yes get a couple of piercings at least in each ear so you can wear a stud and a hoop or whatever at the same time.

@dudsville I know what you mean. What I’ve found is my style(at 50) is being able to dress up and down items. So today o was shopping and wore coloured joggers with smart platform trainers, a tank top over a long sleeve t shirt and a smartish long blazer and scarf that had similar colours to joggers. I added a cross-body bag and big sunnies and felt good whilst outfit was basically T shirt and joggers. A blazer and scarf upgrades and the trainers and joggers add balance.

Oh, thanks for the earrings link and advice. Those are pretty and I do have double earlobe piercings already (plus a teenaged cartilage piercing that will not be being resurrected!).

My teen girls both have double piercings and I agree they look great with studs and small hoops, with big hoops or pearl earrings as an alternative. I buy relatively cheap huggies type earrings for daily wear in gold, I'm not looking to spend a lot of money as I get given jewellery frequently for birthdays/Christmas. I think I got mine off Amazon!

I got my second ear piercings only in my late 40s. DH bought me gorgeous diamond studs years ago which I love but I also love a big, colourful and cheaper earring for nights out. I have misplaced the diamonds frequently on changing over. This way, they stay and I just change the other piercing. It works well.

My go to earrings at the moment are a pair of small gold hoops from Nue. https://nuehoops.com/?tw_source=google&tw_adid=675194789458&tw_campaign=20583173448&gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIjfDGmZTHhAMVy5ZQBh1Ftwi_EAAYASAAEgJUhfD_BwE# They sell "charms"that you can add to them to ring the changes - I have a pair of teardrop pearls for when I want something a bit larger and I also bought a pair of star engraved gold discs for Christmas.

For scarves I have a very fine Paul Smith ombre effect pashmina that I can wrap round my neck like in the photo of Trinny a pp posted. It has several colours from black to turquoise so works with most of my clothes and coats. If I need it a bit more fixed it can go in a standard pull through loop without looking particularly air-hostessey.