Wedding hair trial 😭

[Weddingsarenofun]

Had my wedding hair trial yesterday and it was awful. I spent so long choosing a hairdresser and now I know I’ve made the wrong decision 😭 I’m not able to cancel as I stand to lose close to £500 if I do.

I took a picture of how I’d had my hair done before with loose curls/waves to show her - she did really thick tight barrel curls, I said I didn’t want a lot of height on top - she tried styles which were high, I said I wanted a veil low down in my hair - she kept talking about putting my veil on my crown 🤷🏻‍♀️ every time I repeated no not as high as that etc but it made no difference.

She also did my make up which was okay, but not amazing - I could suck it up though but there’s no way I’m going with my hair the way it was.

Does any body have any suggestions on how to approach this? My initial upset meant I was going to jump in with 2 feet and be annoyed but that’s not going to solve anything. I’m also worried if I criticise what she’s done she’ll not be happy and do a bad job on the day.

Why have you forked out for hair and make up before the trial? I attended a trial for my best friend and the woman wasn’t prepared, kind of half put my hair up and explained how the rest would go but didn’t have hair ties, grips or any of the other required equipment. She was a no from the outset. Surely the point of a trial is you find out what to expect before you pay? I’d be tempted to explain to her she ignored what you wanted and did what she wanted and you’d like your money back please.

Almost everywhere here requires you to book and commit before the trial to secure the date. If you look at lots of wedding hair provides now they all say this on their website - maybe local salons are slightly different but that wasn’t an option for me due to needing a team that was prepared to travel to a rural location.

To be honest, you can either be honest with her about how much she got it wrong and that you want another trial to prove she can do what you want or your money back. If you don't do that, you'll just have to suck it up and have shit hair🤷‍♀️

If she is unable to deliver the service you have booked (I.e. the look you want in this instance) she needs to refund you. Did you tell her you were unhappy at the trial? And make it clear she didn't achieve what she was meant to?

Yes in our area we have to book the trial and the wedding date at the same time to get the recommended stylists. It's ridiculous really isn't it, as assumes you'll love what they do.

But I think all you can do is be honest with her, that you were disappointed and didn't like the style. And then be clear about what you want - another trial, free of charge, or your money back for the wedding booking.

Did you tell her she wasn't doing as you asked??

Or have you come away letting her think everything is fine.

You really need to put your big girl knickers on, phone her and tell her you were not happy with the trial, you will give her another attempt to listen to you and actually do the style you want or else you would like a full refund.

Can you ask for another trial, say you are prepared to pay for it. Explain what you weren't happy about, send more example pictures beforehand.

'hi hairdresser, thanks so much for my trial on monday, I wonder if we'd be able to book another one before the wedding? The style wasn't quite what I had in mind and I'm keen to get it right for the big day. I'd like looser curls and less height, more like the photos attached. I hope we can work this out. The style you did was lovely it just wasn't 'me' and I want to feel comfortable on my wedding day. I hope you understand, of course I'd pay for the second trial.'

@ThatSharpCrow I did repeat that I didn’t want it high etc etc, I think once she had the curls wrong it was hard to get anything to work like I wanted. I hate confrontation so I’m not bold enough to come out and say you need to wash my hair and start again. At the time I couldn’t quite put my finger on exactly what was wrong but now I realise the curls she did were far too much like ‘barrel’ curls rather than soft wavy curls. At the side of my eye I had a big thick curl which was annoying me.

@Invisimamma thank you so much! I’ve messaged them and asked if it would be possible to have another trial though looking at her online diary I’m not hopeful she’ll have space 😬 I’ll definitely take lots of photos with me if it’s possible (even though I did show her some of me yesterday 🤦🏻‍♀️)

Soft wavy curls can be achieved by using more hair sectioned into each curl (to achieve a looser slightly bigger curl) by using less product and by brushing out the curls gently after heat styling.

The sections of hair can also be twisted either clockwise or anti clockwise when curling, if that makes sense, to give a less uniform styled look.

Decide if you want your hair curled from the root or starting slightly further down (more flattering if you don’t want height) and whether you want the ends left straighter or curled to the tip.

This is all what I’d call constructive criticism so don’t feel bad!

Did you attempt to brush out what she’d done or do anything afterwards to improve it?

Im not sure what you mean by a low veil. I’d suggest a picture to demonstrate exactly how you want it.

Its a lot of money and I’m assuming a reputable hairdresser so I’m surprised the stylist deviated so widely from what you wanted? Something has been lost in translation perhaps?

I absolutely hated my hair on my wedding day and I'm still slightly upset about it a decade later (ridiculous I know!) So do NOT be afraid to be very, very controlling about this. I had the same issue as you on the day- curls much too tight, up too high etc , had to get my friends and mum to brush it out and re- pin it afterwards but obviously they did a very amateur job. I would tell her you were really unhappy and need another trial - is there some way to hint that you might leave her a bad review if she doesn't accommodate this/try to fix it? It's so important to feel happy with how you look on your wedding day so you can forget about yourself and throw yourself into enjoying the day. At least this has happened now- weirdly mine was fine at the trial and she then went rouge on the day itself. This way around you have time to get it right. Good luck!!

It also depends on your hair type as to how much the curl “holds” so a barrel like curl can look very different two hours later when it’s dropped out slightly and softened/ separated?

Although you say you couldn’t put your finger on what was wrong, you need to be very sure about what you didn’t like so that changes can be made.

Do you have a picture?

This sort of style?

Yes! My hair is much shorter than hers (just below my shoulders) but that’s how I wanted my veil to sit. I have had my hair done in lovely soft curls/waves before and I did show her a picture so I’m just nervous she won’t be able to do it.

Definitely say something - I didn't because I'm very non confrontational too and 7 years on I still get annoyed about how much I hated my hair on my wedding day. I wish I was more confident when it comes to saying what I want but I worry about offending people 🙄

Is the hairdresser who did your curls before not available? It sounds like you and this one have different taste.

What did she curl it with?

Looser more natural looking curls are easier to achieve (imo) with flat irons rather than barrel tongs.

If she’s a decent hairdresser, with wedding experience, then I see no reason why she can’t create the style you want.

Words to include- natural, soft waves, tousled, beach hair, boho wedding hair, little or no styling product. You can be very polite, even compliment the trial but say it wasn’t quite what you wanted.
Explain in lots of detail and show her multiple pictures- including the low veil arrangement.

I think she misinterpreted your brief so try not to panic x

You definitely need to say something.
I wasn’t happy with my make up at trial and I asked her to tweak it, but even then it wasn’t quite what I wanted. I had the same predicament as you that I’d had to book prior to having the trial. I sent her some
more photos after and said I wanted it more like that. I also took my make up bag with me on the day of the wedding in case I needed to change it but it did look better so I didn’t use my own (I still wasn’t 100% happy with it).

In terms of hair mine was similar style to what you’ve asked for, and again the curls were too tight, but other than that I liked the style so just went with it.

I do look back at photos and wish I’d been more firm. I think it didn’t help that I went alone, if I’d had my MOH or my mum they would have spoken up as well.

Ultimately, they are getting paid a lot of money for you to not be completely happy with the result.

Thank you so much to all of you who commented and offered advice. I managed to squeeze in another trial today and I’m much happier with what’s been decided 🥰

This is perfect.

my hairdresser was fantastic at the trial but did my hair shit on the day. I still lived every minute of the day and I get slightly annoyed looking at the pictures but you can see how happy we are anyway.