Hairstyles when you have very few spoons and straightened doesn't suit you

[febury]

I have ME/CFS. I've always struggled to make my hair not look awful which I've always just accepted as something I'd have to live with but I had cancer last year and experienced good hair days for the first time in my life when I got to wear wigs. It made me feel so much better about myself that it's made me wonder again if there's a way to achieve a good hair day on almost no spoons now that I have shoulder length hair again? I don't suit it straightened or tied back unfortunately - I need some volume at the front at least. Waves look great but I don't think I could ever do a whole head. Are there any really easy down do's anyone can recommend? Or something that's only styled at the front?

I scrunch my hair by combing mousse through, then hang my head upside down (that's optional!), grab handfuls of hair and scrunch/ ball it up whilst blasting it with the hair dryer.
It's particularly effective on layered hair - which mine isn't.
Could you treat yourself to a consultation with a stylist?

If you do nothing at all to your hair, what does it do naturally?

I'm super low effort with mine so make sure it's cut in a way I can just scrunch some product in and leave it to dry on the tube. Mine has a bit of a wave to it and with a very layered cut and a bit of curl gel I can get that to quite wavy with minimal effort. The cut is the secret though - if I wanted it to sit straighter for eg then my hairdresser would do something quite different. Actually, the other secret is a hairdresser who understands that I am never going to wake up 5 minutes earlier to blow dry it so there is no point suggesting anything remotely high maintenance!

You can sleep in a sock bun if it's right on top of your head. Also helps keep you cool in summer.

My hair doesn't really do anything naturally - it just goes in all directions. It went curly after chemo and it's still kind of curly but straighter at the roots now. I thought that meant the curls were growing out but then I just got a fringe cut and it's gone curly when it didn't use to. It was kind of drying in a style before I got a 3rd round of highlights done before Christmas but that seems to have added a level of dryness to the top layer that means it now just looks a bit friend if left to dry naturally. Not sure what to make of it or what will grow out or change and what will stay permanently changed.

Clay is like wax or gel, but stays sticky. It doesn’t set, so you can ruffle it again whenever you like.

Re spoons, the idea is to demonstrate a fixed , small, ration of energy for the day. Having a shower and washing your hair may use 5 of your 20 daily spoons. Talking to your partner, a few more. Making meals…

Those of us who have to ration do things like have a stool in the shower, or do a wet wipe wash. Sit while peeling veg or better still, buy pre prepped!

Crucially the days of using a hairdryer or curler are long gone!

Bleaching it will dry it, which will straighten out the curl a bit. It might be worth giving a bit of moisturising tlc to see if that evens it out a bit.
Again, I am only here for the low maintenance solutions! So I like to use a tiny amount of olaplex 6 after washing sometimes. And I finally opened a thing of Phillip Kingsley Elasticizer which worked really well. Combed it through in the evening so it dried before bed, left it overnight and washed in the morning. Definitely made it softer and happier.

I've got this...it's so easy to style if you have a bit of wave in your hair. It dries naturally in quite a nice style, ir I'd u have the energy I straighten the front sections and leave the rest wavy

It may be worth trying shampoo and conditioner for curly hair . I have good waves, but the top of my hair is straight until the top of my ears and then I have wavy/curly hair. I don't do anything else most weeks

I recommend trying heatless curls. I've got something similar to this and it works really well and is comfortable enough to not ruin my sleep https://www.youtube.com/shorts/5Fq8-X4BCWU

I do heatless curls but tied “unicorn style” so I can comfortably sleep on my side. Lots of videos on Insta and TikTok.

If it's dry give it a good treatment masque. Slather on and leave it in for a few hours or overnight.
I have a heartless silk curler thing I sleep in-it's very comfy-takes 5 minutes before bed-and it gives great results.

Can't you just carry on with the wigs? I know some people just cut their hair super short and wear wigs all the time. If it made you feel good and required fewer spoons why not just keep with it?

Would clip in hair work? My hair got really thin so I tried them and it made a huge difference. No long celebrity ones ,just the same length as my hair. You can't really make thin hair thick without a bit more hair.

Also a spoonie, I have fine hair and half arsed attempt a messy bun with bits down to try and frame my face.

What are spoons ?

Oh! I thought spoons must mean money, as in I have very little spare change/money. Thanks for explaining guys.

Explaining spoon theory: How does spoon theory work?

Someone who is sick might start the day off with 10 spoons. Sounds great! But it’s a cold morning, and you didn’t get enough sleep last night – you’ve woken up stiff and in pain. It’s going to cost you a spoon just to get out of bed, another two to make it through a shower, and two more to get yourself breakfast. That’s five spoons down before you’ve even left the house.
You’ve already used half your energy, so you’ll need to be careful choosing how to spend your spoons if you don’t want to risk exhausting yourself and being unable to make it home safely, or pushing too hard and having even fewer spoons to work with tomorrow.

This is the reality for many people who face fatigue-related illnesses or conditions. Unlike simply speaking about energy levels, spoon theory is a way for those who don’t experience fatigue-related or mental illnesses, to understand what others are going through.

Where does spoon theory come from?

Originally used by groups with autoimmune and chronic illnesses, it has become more widely used in online mental health and non-neurotypical communities. The number of spoons you have can vary from day to day, as can how much even simple activities will cost to complete.

But why spoons?
Originally created by Christine Miserandino in 2003 as she tried to come up with a way to explain how lupus (an autoimmune condition) makes her feel to a long-time friend at dinner, she tried using spoons from tables around them as props. She discovered that they were a quirky, easy to understand way of explaining the little things that can actually be huge hurdles for those who struggle with their energy levels.

I came to recommend this too. It’s so easy and gives a lovely finish

You can just leave your hair to air dry and then use the one step when it’s damp - a lot easier than doing it wet.

If it’s dry, I use L’Oréal moisture boosting shampoo and conditioner - it’s a light purple bottle. I’ve found it really good, my hair is in much better condition which means I need to do less to it. I don’t use any other products. My hair is the type that if I went full curly-girl on it I’d probably have good curls (or tight waves), but I do not have the time or energy for that. But that means if I do nothing it’s totally out of control!

I have two friends with ME. They’ve both found undercuts have made dealing with their hair vastly easier. Could be worth a thought! Or consider having it a little shorter - if mine is just above my shoulders it’s notable how much quicker and easier it is to wash and dry than when it drops below my shoulders. Doesn’t need to be really short.

Get your hair cut in lots of layers with a good hairdresser who understands curly/wavy hair. It's been fantastic for me (quick brush and ignore)

Another one who clicked on this purely for the spoon reference. Thanks for the explanation.

This is how I've been styling my hair using straighteners. It's been a game changer, takes 2 minutes!

https://www.tiktok.com/@samanthasconfessions/video/7212430315900407083

Do you dry your hair before using heatless curlers to those who use them?

And can you put wax on your roots if your hair is long?

Don't layers make it look thiner? There's less hair...

Also, wouldn't an undercut make it also look much less thick?

I do heartless curls in my hair but use an old dressing gown belt. It lies flat against my head so I don’t feel it. I have cut it down to a good length for my hair and tie at the back with a soft scrunchie,
on a morning I just take it down, run a drop oil through and tame my fringe with the straighteners, then I’m set to go!

You absolutely can put wax on the roots if you have long hair. It adds volume to the roots and lifts the weight off the length, if you like. You use a tiny amount- just enough to make your finger tips sticky. Go back for more if you need it.
do you have any gel? You can use it the same way, but it doesn’t stay no usable like clay/wax does.