Feeling really bummed I can't use tretinoin or retinols

[pukkapud]

I have finally realised that I just can't use retinol and I absolutely can't use tretinoin after years of trying on and off. I am mid 40's and know a lot of women my age either friends or through work and I feel like if you can tolerate and use tret especially then you have such an advantage when it comes to keeping your skin nice.

My good friend and I started with retinol in 2017 and then switched to tretinoin in 2019. When we started we were both kind of in the same position, late 30's and seeing more lines and signs of aging on our faces. My friend tolerated tretinoin and retinols so well and now uses it pretty much every night and has aged in reverse and now has the soft smooth, line free skin of a much younger woman while my aging process seems to have gone into turbo drive after 40.

Other women I know who use it also seem to have the best skin. I also know women like myself who cannot tolerate it and end up with raw skin while trying to use it.

I feel like I can no longer even tolerate low amounts of retinol in products either and other actives seem to irritate my skin as well like glycolic and vitamin c.

I am now either considering the "well moisturised wrinkle" approach or looking at injectables which I am really nervous about. I just feel bummed I'm not one of those women who can use tret or retinol without any issues and get all those great benefits by doing something as simple as rubbing a bit of cream in!

Did you start with the lowest dose of 0.025%?

I can't use it either, it just burns and flakes, I honestly think it's horrible stuff but everyone on here seems to swear by it

What concentration did you try? I have very sensitive skin and even I’ve been able to tolerate it by building up very slowly with Skin + Me.

Yes I did then when I had irritation they put it down to 0.015% and I couldn't tolerate that either although I did persevere with it for a year.

I think it is simply the case that some people can tolerate it well and some cannot. I gave it a year of consistent use and I feel like that year the constant irritation aged me badly. However my friend who is the same age as me quickly went up to the highest dose and it really works for her and she looks amazing, her skin is literally flawless at 45 and she can easily pass for a 20 something, while I am looking more and more like her mother!

What are her genes like though? Does she stay out of the sun etc? Can't believe it's all down to a cream tbh

try some cold pressed rosehip seed oil (the ordinary do it) - it apparently contains natural tretinion and might help. I always use it with a homemade toner applied first (rose water mixed with glycerine) to help add moisture - the oil on top.

@Goditswindy Well we both stay out of the sun and use SPF, we have both always looked after our skin. When we started with tret we were both looking pretty similar and now its like night and day. I see the same effects on other women who can use tretinoin as well. I do think how well you tolerate it is down to your genetics though.

I use it and my skin is shit :)

I figure it would be shitter if I didn’t, along with all the other crap I try

some people have great skin. They just do.

some people have great hair. They just do

i don’t have either

@blearyeye We both tried rosehip seed oil previously, the trilogy one I think and it didn't seem to do much but I will try it again. I am also looking at the Bakuchiol oil which isn't vitamin a but acts like retinol but is supposed to be less irritating.

I don't use them, I'm early fifties, and I can honestly say that these fine-grained differences between different friends are not easy to see at all, they basically all look a bit older and still nice! That one has marginally fewer wrinkles or another slightly less turkey neck is fairly irrelevant, the ones that were attractive when younger have mostly kept that, and everyone else just looks fine.

I'm not on HRT either, and people swear blind on here that people on HRT look younger, but I know which of my friends are on HRT and I can't say, again, that there's a huge difference at all.

The only things that I've seen that have made a big difference are a) giving up alcohol, one of my colleagues de-aged 10 years and her skin looked so much better, not red and coarse and b) keeping weight down/up (as in more a middle way) which made the very thin ones look healthier and the ones who are heavier also looked better and c) moving freely- so if you get the weight off or do more exercise, or go to a physio or chiro and can walk and swing your arms like a young person, that looks great too (a lot of my friends, even though in early 50's, to the arthritis of spine, dodgy knees, can't run as much as in the past, need surgery stages).

I don't think I'd get upset about this, it's not going to make a huge difference to your overall attractiveness and wellbeing, that's my opinion anyway! Nice to do but hardly essential to age nicely.

@nzeire My friend didn't always have great skin, we've been friend since high school and if anything my skin was nicer then we were similar but since tret her skin is amazing.

Wow. When I first met my mother in law 15 years ago I noticed that she had many many more wrinkles than most women of her age, due to a lifetime on a farm and working in hot countries before sunscreen was really a thing.

My own Mum, on the other hand, had beautiful soft skin with hardly a line. But she died in her mid sixties and never met my son. I am eternally grateful that my MIL is here in her seventies to be a Grandmother, Mum to my husband and Mum figure to me. Not once have I ever given a shit that she has a lot of wrinkles.

What is the point of this reply? This is style and beauty. I am not judging anyone else I am bummed personally that I can't use tretinoin. Bore off with your moral superiority and shaming!

Worth looking up alternatives to tret/retinol for pregnancy - that's how I found a recommendation for Bakuchiol which I've been using (not conducted a robust experiment into effectiveness I'm afraid!) And now using the new Boots No 7 Future Renew range.

@Whataretheodds Yeah I think I do need to lean into the alternatives and peptides. I thought the No7 Future renew range had retinol in it but will check again.

@Fluffywhitecloudsinthesky I do kind of disagree I think it makes a huge and noticeable difference, like I say those I know who use tretinoin look easily a decade or more younger. However it is possible that things will even out when we get to 50+.

Neither of us have ever drank alcohol beyond a bit of teenage experimentation and we are both on HRT (which I think does help).

Maybe get some perspective?

I can’t tolerate it either. Like you I used it for a year and looked awful. My face was so sore too. When I stopped I got loads of compliments on looking well! I now use a serum with copper peptides which my skin loves. I’m not sure it does much wrinkle reducing but my skin is so smooth and soft feeling and looks a million times better than it did for that year of using retinol

@Heather37231 If I was posting on Chat or AIBU fair enough but on this board you can jog on!

@kuchisabishii Thanks for understanding and I will look into the copper serum!

I use tret for severe acne. My start dose was 0.006% and each month was increased. I'm on 0.024% now after 6 months

My skin tolerates it but it gives me a socking great headache, I'm equally as annoyed ☹️

@Heather37231 have you got lost on your way to AIBU? It's that way --->

What an odd reply. It's not a race to the bottom. Maybe your MIL gives a shit about her wrinkles. Nothing to do with you

Did you start once per week then twice etc? did you use the sandwich method? I'm using 0.025% every night with no irritation but it took me a year, I also apply moisturising lotion with ceramides after tret and every morning too. I apply vaseline around my nose and mouth .

I started doing the sandwich method and applying only a little bit of tret. Now I can use it on my neck,chest and hands but it takes time. I'm thinking to go high on my dose but I know I'll get some irritation