Feeling defeated by weight loss

[Pogmella]

In October I hired a PT. We’ve massively increased how much protein I eat and introduced strength training.

It’s all been v incremental and about changing habits and behaviours not dramatic rapid weight loss.

Im slightly over the healthy range for BMI. 5’2 10st 2 when I started. One of the things we worked on was not weighing myself daily anymore (if weight was ‘good’ I’d eat more) and being more mindful about how I feel.

I realised I’d misunderstood whether I should be eating gross or net calories so weighed myself and I have put on 7lb in 3 weeks.

Im feeling so tearful and depressed and fatter than I’ve been my whole life. Just gutted. It feels so fucking hard and hiring this lady was my attempt at fixing it and it’s just been a huge waste of time and money. What she said made sense but I’ve piled on weight quicker than I ever have before. Even post Christmas it was never this bad.

how do you lose weight. I just can’t seem to.

Didn't your PT suggest how many calories to eat when they talked with you about your diet?

How many calories have you been eating to put on this weight? Any contributing factors e.g. might you be currently holding water due to your cycle etc?

@Pogmella I lost 4 stone over a period of about 3 years a while ago now. I have maintained my new weight since 2021.

How I did it? I started running building up from half an hour 3 times a week to 1 hour 15 minutes every day (about 10k) and walking for an hour every day. That burns over a 1000 calories.

I cut what I eat roughly in half and added in salad/green veg to fill the plate. I log what I eat on the free app which comes with Fitbit which I use to track my activity. So I can see deficit. For losing weight I was working with ensuring I had a substantial deficit of about 1000 calories or more. Easy with what I was burning. When I did start to plateau I decided to incorporate intermittent fasting in 3 days a week and run fasted without any breakfast other than a cup of tea. Those deficits are only what was logged though - probably some inaccuracies there in my logging/what I actually burn. I jigged it depending on whether I was losing or gaining week to week, month to month.

I still have a logged deficit but am maintaining weight. I am slight in build. If I do start lose too much weight I simply eat more and visa versa. Weigh myself on fast days(which is only skipping breakfast) at the same time each evening.

I concluded I previously simply ate too much and didn't exercise enough for my build and frame. My main meals range from 500 to 800 calories typically at home. Out I often choose starters and add side dishes in or donate part of my meal and share sides. I have a varied diet, eat meat, plenty of veg, some starchy food plus some sweet stuff such as chocolate and small desserts. I have a few glasses of wine a week but will also drink non alcoholic lager in lieu of alcohol when I think I have had enough.

So don't give up. I enjoy my food and don't have a bad lifestyle. Find an exercise you like and make it enjoyable. It's a good time to listen to music / podcasts / audiobooks.

Oh and I do a little work out 4 evenings a week (about half an hour) in front of the tv with weights and doing resistance exercises and stretches. Some planking, arm exercises, stomach exercises, neck exercises and hamstring stretches. Doesn't burn much but good for building muscle and keeping me supple.

@heyhohello sounds like you’re effectively 2 hours & 15 minutes cardio daily which is a lot - do you still do that or was that just for losing the initial weight and now you do less for maintenance?

When I was living in major cities I’d end up walking at least 1-2 hours most days plus I’d occasionally have periods of going to the gym two or three times a week for 1.5 hours each time. So I managed to eat quite generous amounts while maintaining a 9 stone figure. I didn’t realise just how much cardio I was doing through my commute and how that level of activity was helping keep my weight down until I became sedentary, and the weight crept on over a period of 5 years!

It’s good that you’ve been realistic about how much effort it took because some people act as if it’s so easy for everyone to lose weight by doing a few extra steps, but it doesn’t work that way for us all!

@Pogmella One of the things we worked on was not weighing myself daily anymore (if weight was ‘good’ I’d eat more) and being more mindful about how I feel.

Is there any specific reason for this advice?

I know for people with a history of ED or OCD etc weighing dialy can be triggering so it’s understandable. Personally I weigh almost every day to avoid the outcome you’ve just described. I’m not
obsessed over it, for example if I go on holiday I don’t need to weigh myself or I may choose not to weigh myself for a week or so at home…but I tend not to leave it for as long as three weeks to avoid nasty surprises.

I put On over half a stone in the space of one month back in 2021 when I’d stopped weighing myself and I’ve avoided leaving it that long since.

I’m the same height as you and I know half a stone is a lot on a short frame!

FWIW I was 13 stone back in 2021 and I’m now 11 stone-ish. It took about 18 months to lose 2 stone. Just keep going and figure out works for best for your lifestyle and body and you will see progress eventually. I’m hoping to get back down to 10 stone by spring and 9 stone by autumn.

@Fantaandcola it was to try and get away from diet culture. I hired her because I’d been ‘on a diet’ for a year and simply maintained weight. My goals were to change my lifestyle to get to a healthy weight and stay there.

she advised upping my calorie target. I was eating 1000 to lose and falling off the wagon. She said aim for 1600 daily as the sun is to build muscle and up metabolism to make weight loss easier at higher calorific amounts.

The problem I suppose I have is I’ve not observed it strictly over Christmas and whereas a lapse from 1k meant j maintaining a lapse from 1.6k means I’ve piled it on

heyhohello sounds like you’re effectively 2 hours & 15 minutes cardio daily which is a lot - do you still do that or was that just for losing the initial weight and now you do less for maintenance?

@Fantaandcola, I still do that. I got fitter! Hardly touches the sides! (As in doesn't feel like much) I miss the movement if I don't do it now and if I can't do it for some reason I miss it and love going back to it. It really keeps me feeling great. Less aches and stiffness (in my 50s). I don't over exert myself at all and generally run at a MAF rate. I walk at a fairly fast but comfortable speed.

I was nearly 13 stone in 2018 and am 8 and a half stone now and size 8 at 5 ft 7 (23%fat now according to my body composition scales I was 40% fat!).

And @Pogmella I would suggest upping your exercise. Means you can eat more and you get fitter. It prevents metabolic diseases, improves mental health and bone health. The running I do isn't that strenuous. I started with this:

I thought I couldn't run before seeing this video. Shows proper technique.

And I love being a runner! I like seeing other runners out and about, I like talking about it, like the gear, like discussing running tracks to listen to. My husband runs too and we often engage in 'run chat'! 😁

This is the thread on here when I started running in 2018 (I name changed used to be called slowrun).

Sorry, link:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/exercise/3273109-niko-niko-running-technique-experiences

It takes something like 3500 EXTRA calories to put on one pound of weight, so if you've put on 7 pounds in 3 weeks, you've eaten 24500 calories above your maintenance calories. Does that sound right when you think about your food in the past 3 weeks? Because if that doesn't seem right, perhaps weigh yourself every second day or so for a week or two in order to see if that one-off weight measurement is accurate.

In terms of losing weight it really is about calorie deficit, however you wrap it up. So try 1600 as suggested by your PT (since you said you didn't actually stick to that), and if 1600 doesn't work for you, adjust it.

If you don't want to count calories and want to aim for 'healthy lifestyle' then that's great, provided you're aware that you can't expect any sort of noticeable changes for a while.

Seems odd that your PT would tell you not to weigh in order to avoid 'diet culture', but then tell you to count calories.

That’s great! I agree, I am sleeping so much better now I’m getting in about 8-10K steps a day. I WFH right now and do about an hour of low-moderate intensity cardio but hoping that I can get back to 2 hours + cardio daily.

A lot of people say the impact of exercise is negligible and it’s all about diet but both have been really significant in my weight and health journey.

@ElliesMum16 strangely enough, calories in and out is not linear. I say this even though I tracked calories. There are all sorts of variables.

What I would say is I think exercise makes the body more efficient at burning stored energy, fat, glycogen...and then obviously not over eating. If you are not doing much exercise and the body doesn't get much chance to exert itself enough to require it to burn stored energy, then hunger signals are the primary response when faced with low blood sugar. Intermittent fasting and fasted exercise helps retrain the response. If I'm not expecting to eat (not a mealtime) I don't really feel hungry now.

Not that I'm suggesting over eating or that deficits don't work just that it's not necessarily that linear.

A lot of people say the impact of exercise is negligible and it’s all about diet but both have been really significant in my weight and health journey.

@Fantaandcola, me too. And it's great for health. I had cancer a few years ago and I especially wanted to improve my blood circulation after have chemo (affects veins), plus I chose anti inflammatory exercise.

@Pogmella I’m far from a PT but I have read up a lot on all this over the last couple of years as I’ve lost a couple of stone and it sounds like she’s essentially trying to get you on a “reverse diet.”

Which means eating at (or slightly above) maintenance calories and getting your body used to that 1600 calories and then she will possibly suggest cutting it by 300 calories. Some PTs believe this is more effective in losing weight, because they say if you stick to a low calorie count ALL the time, your body then adjusts and get used to it and maintains fat. So in the case of reverse dieting it is possible for your weight to increase initially I guess but the idea is for it to go down eventually.

I think her approach tends to works better with people who do a lot of exercise including lifting weights so it also depends on what you’re doing in the gym.

As a PP said it is a bit odd to say don’t weigh everyday because “diet culture” but then encourage calorie counting.

Also there’s a middle ground between not weighing every day and not weighing yourself for 3/4 weeks. Even a weekly weigh in might have helped you notice the weight gain earlier.

Btw as i said I’m 5ft 2 also and aim for 1300-1500 calories right now since I’m not super active. I didn’t track my calories for years but I think I used to eat 1800+ calories when I was burning lots of calories walking around the city lugging my laptop around.

Are you using something like myfitness pal to track calories or are you following a meal plan from the PT?

@heyhohello yes it’s not all about weight - our health and how we feel is more important, and I can imagine surviving illness like cancer really brings this home. A friend of mine had cancer in her 20s and she always was quite healthy but she made more changes after her radiotherapy was over, like she rarely eats refined sugar anymore.

First of all, if you're building muscle, you might not necessarily see a change on the scale. In fact, you might even gain weight. However, instead of weighing yourself, use your clothes as a marker and they should be getting loser - muscle is more dense than fat.

However, and by your own admittance, you haven't been eating well over Christmas. Keeping in mind that weight loss is 80% diet, not exercise, you shouldn't be surprised that you're not losing weight.

PTs are not dieticians. Go to a PT for advice/support in relation to fitness, strength, injury prevention, and your training goals. But they're not qualified to tell you how many calories to eat.

They may have useful things to say about appropriate nutrition for training, fuelling workouts etc., but if you want a diet plan or calorie intake recommendations you should speak to someone with expertise in that area.

I agree - definitely not linear and I also agree exercise is important. However, for someone starting out / starting over and wanting to lose weight, getting into a deficit is going to be the most sensible way forward. As that person starts exercising regularly, that's going to contribute to their progress and things might need to be changed up.

This was my thought too, but I'm not in the UK so didn't know if things worked differently there.

@ElliesMum16, yes, I agree. With deficits. As I've said,I use them. Track on Fitbit. Still easy to overeat even though I burn a lot through my exercise. Eating out portions can be huge. I look at the calories counts - some pub lunches are over 2000 calories in one go! It pays to have a bit of a game lane and look up the nutritional info where you can!

These online calculators might be useful:

tdeecalculator.net

www.verywellfit.com/recipe-nutrition-analyzer-4157076

www.webmd.com/diet/body-bmi-calculator

As other PP's have mentioned, I'm sure she's qualified in PT but perhaps not so much in diet.
I struggled with my weight for years, on and off the same few stone but the most recent research shows that although exercise is absolutely beneficial, it is 80-90% your diet that affects your weight not excessive exercise to burn additional calories.
And although it can be a case of calories in vs calories out, not all calories are equal. A calorie of good fats such as Greek yoghurt and nuts affect your blood sugar response differently to the same value calories in highly processed food.
I'd recommend Jason Fung's book 'The Obesity Code' and also Fast 800/5:2 as some reading into latest thoughts on nutrition.
Good luck OP, sounds like you're working your socks off

Her diet plan seems wrong OP sorry

i ve tried all sort of crap diets and the truth is minimising calories helped massively (think a stone in 2-3 weeks)

also pls note hidden calories are everywhere (worse culprit is the oil actually)

my best recommendation is air fryer you cook anything you fancy (within reason) with olive spray and the meals are actually amazing!!!

personally I’d make a simple diet plan, protein veg and a bit of carbs (as tend to have more calories ), mostly cooked in air fryer . Zero snacks where possible. You ll be surprised at the resukts

Yes but @hobbledyhoy without additional exercise I think many of us don't actually burn that many calories. And whilst it's important to have a balanced diet, the body can become more efficient at burning fat. It's what MAF training involves. Essentially training the body to burn fat more effectively to utilise as an energy source during exercise.

I did a high protein, higher fat, low carbohydrate diet years ago. Which worked until I plateaued. Never had the same success with it since. I strongly suspect that when the body is truly effective at burning fat this energy source is not essentially lost and excreted as excess ketones (fat aiding weight loss in this way).

So my takeaway is do the exercise and have a balanced fresh diet. Monitor what is eaten looking for any patterns. Yes, don't think carbs don't count but don't think fat doesn't count either. Both are great energy sources and are contained in fresh nutritious food.