Desperately need fashion advice for upcoming proposal

[HopelesslyUnfashionable]

Hi all, have name changed for this because I think a few people in real life know who I am on here due to previous posts & our engagement plans are very much a secret atm.

So I'm essentially a rather plump mum who wants to look elegant for our trip away & proposal. Going to Bruges hopefully in February, so it will be cold. I won't know where or when exactly the proposal will take place- I want an element of surprise! So I could really do with help finding a coat that is practical in terms of being warm & waterproof but also looks stylish.

I've lost over 2 stones so far on my weight loss journey & hoping to keep going (still need to lose around 3 more) so something that looks good cinched in so I don't slim out of it too quickly would be a bonus but not essential.

I'm 5'5 and currently in a size 16, but some are a little big on me, hoping I might be a 14 by the time we go.

This ^

My DH wanted the fun of planning a proposal so we picked out a ring together, I gave him a time limit of 3 months and then he proposed in that time.

some people like to have fun and some people like to play with tradition. It’s really none of any of you peoples business

I only mentioned what it was for because I'd look at some other Style threads to get an idea and they were things like "need a dress for a 40th birthday party" etc... so I thought it helped people to know roughly what it was for- I've learnt my lesson, won't open up about something I feel excited about on here again because some of you are just absolutely horrible.

I think a lot of what other people choose to do in life is odd or different to what I would do, but that's fine because everyone is unique. I wouldn't tell a stranger that there way of doing something was bonkers or any of the other words a few of you have used. It's actually really upset me, I should have remembered how horrible people can be online.

I'm going to make a note of the lovely suggestions that people have made, thank you to everyone who has helped & get on with planning what is going to be an amazing week away with frankly a fucking fantastic proposal and not let anyone get me down.

Please don't lose your excitement! Bruges is beautiful and you are going to have a wonderful time. Forget the diet while you are there and scoff all the waffles, chocolates, chips and mussels!

Hobbs is lovely for tailoring and always has a good sale

https://www.hobbs.com/product/gaby-quilted-coat/0123-3390-9322L00-BLACK.html#navAjax=true&is=true&isSecondPage=false&sz=60&start=0&srule=price-low-to-high&cgid=sale-clothing-coats-and-jackets&prefn1=category1&prefv1=Coats&prefn2=petite&prefv2=Regular&prefn3=size&prefv3=14|16|L&pid=0123-3390-9322L00-BLACK&pos=3

https://www.hobbs.com/product/maddox-faux-fur-coat/0223-3234-9045L00-STEEL-BLUE.html#navAjax=true&is=true&cgid=sale-clothing-coats-and-jackets&sz=60&start=0&isSecondPage=false&prefn1=category1&prefv1=Coats&prefn2=petite&prefv2=Regular&prefn3=size&prefv3=14|16|L&pid=0223-3234-9045L00-STEEL-BLUE&pos=3

What about a faux fur? You said you like green, this is lovely from New Look...sadly not waterproof though but hopefully it won't rain on your special day 🤞🏼

this is specifically a holiday for him to propose

Whatever will they come up with next
Have a lovely time OP celebrating your engagement.

I don’t think people are trying to be horrible, but a proposal is usually considered to be a surprise, so if you already know it’s happening and you’re on board with it, you’re engaged already, no? Bruges is beautiful, I’m sure you’ll have a lovely holiday.

Of course people are trying to be horrible, this is MN.

just because they’ve agreed to marry and are technically engaged it doesn’t mean her fiancé can’t have a bit of fun planning a nice proposal. Really none of your business, no?

I don't think people have been horrible and it was like pulling teeth to get the OP to give any indication of what sort of thing she had in mine.

Answering " I need a dress for a 40th birthday party" etc... is generally easy enough - particularly if the person asking gives a budget and an indication of likes and dislikes.

But clothes for an upcoming proposal ?

I'm sorry I wasn't giving much to go on, I really don't have a style of my own, hence asking for advice. I realise I should have just asked for advice for holiday clothes, that would have been simpler. I wasn't trying to be difficult, just very unsure of what I wanted.

With regards to the engagement, I don't see myself as engaged now, I'm looking forward to it and I don't know many people who don't know beforehand.

I'm sorry some people were so snotty about your plans, OP. I get what you were trying to do in setting the scene in order to get appropriate suggestions.

Would you feel comfortable posting a pic of your favourite outfit you have already (can blank our face) to give a starting point? Or a few screenshots of outfits/styles that you aspire to?

You did nothing wrong OP, as evidenced by plenty of responses which did understand what you were after and didn't need to weigh in with opinions on things you didn't ask about.

Congratulations on your impending proposal! If you are happy to carry an umbrella then what about Herringbone Trench Coat from Next. It would look great with a lovely scarf/gloves set and easily adjustable round the waist. Also has a quilted lining so should be warm.

OP some posters have been absolute dicks to you and god knows why?! First criticising you for not giving enough detail (when “sounds fun, can we have some more details?” would have sufficed…) and then giving you shit about the nature of the proposal. Pointless sniping and judgements - really strange!

That green coat with the nipped in waist a PP posted a link to looks gorgeous. Hope you have a fabulous trip OP.

How do you feel about hats? If you want to look chic you could consider a beret to match the coat.

Personally I would go for a preferred style over waterproofing and take a brolly! Then you can get a mack / trench, as others have suggested. Most have a waist belt and they are completely classic. You can continue to wear it if you go down a size... just wear unbuttoned and pulled in at the waist.

Try searching "1950s style coat" on Amazon for ideas as that should pull some up with full "skirts" and nipped in waists.

If I thought I were getting proposed to I would probably go OTT and get someone fake fur... but they can be bulky and it sounds like maybe you'd rather go for something slimming

@SausageAndEggSandwich agree a wool swing coat would be lovely, I only wear an actual waterproof coat when I am not using an umbrella but you have said you will have an umbrella @HopelesslyUnfashionable. I would get a tiered dress to wear underneath as you could likely fit a 12 now with it fitting tightly around the bust but it will still work with a looser fit once you have lost more weight.

Hi OP,

Sorry there seem to be some really sad people on here! They must be truly miserable to try to bring you down so much. Of course grownups discuss marriage prior to proposing - you aren't engaged until someone asks officially. Anyway, don't let them rain on your parade - but even if they do, it will glide right off your fabulous new coat!

I follow Mollie Campsie on instagram and there might be some ideas there that you would consider: https://www.instagram.com/molliecampsie/?hl=en

Or what about this: https://www.boden.co.uk/en-gb/bristol-wool-blend-coat-dusty-pink/sty-u0158-dpk?cat=C1_S2_G2

I realise it isn't waterproof but I think a lovely long umbrella would look elegant.

Have a wonderful time!!

I was looking at coats on eBay last night for myself and there's a couple of Collectif coats on there which you might like. They are 40s style swing coats, so they belt at the waist and more special looking.
Search for Collectif swing coat and there are a few on there. One is £40.

I would say look at hats too and possibly an upmarket scarf and gloves combo - it will add instant style. Look for a trench style coat in an interesting colour maybe.

Thank you for all the lovely comments & advice, nice to be reassured that most of mumsnet is still lovely.

@Islandermummy I love hats & was actually considering a beret, but have a large head with thick hair, so if anyone knows of berets that run big let me know!

Looking at all the styles suggested I'm definitely leaning away from waterproof & thinking wool/trench/swing with a simple umbrella for when needed.

Agree with the nice hat/scarf/glove combo. Have a look at Joe Browns coats. I have had two and get loads of compliments.

Yes it is reliable: I am having a year of Vinted as I have too much stuff and don't need anything, plus get bored easily.

I haven't read the whole thread but the coat situation is tricky. Good that you have refined your ideas. I think a trenchcoat is the way forward: belted and classic.

@StasisMom, I think it might be the way to go forward, I can change up my look without buying throw away fashion. May even try & sell some of the things I don't wear anymore.

@WishIMite I love Joe Brown's but have never been brave enough to pull of a coat from there, my friend has some fab patterned ones, but I think they are a bit too busy for me.

Bloody hell, OP wasn't giving loads of information as she admitted she didn't really know where to start, that was the whole point! Instead of being snarky, it's possible to find out information by asking questions.
OP have a lovely time and enjoy, Bruges is meant to be beautiful.

A short trench, that you can fit thick knits under. Would you consider faux leather? That would offer some water resistance, be warm but not bulky, and can be dressed up. There are some lovely soft ones.