Trousers/ outfits for work. Need my confidence back.

[Workingtomorrow]

Hi

I have put on a bit of weight recently. Mixture of stress, bereavement, PCOS etc. the weigh is starting to come off. But I usually wear dresses for work which I have felt comfortable in. I am a size 18. And quite hourglass shaped normally. Now though I also have a fairly sizeable protruding belly. And finding it hard to dress well.

I notice that senior women in the company tend to be moving toward trousers. But most are quite slim. Always look stylish but not try hard.

It’s quite a corporate environment. And while I always look smart I would like to kick it up a notch. I always find dressing better makes me feel better. and more confident. I am up for promotion this year, and really need to be more confident. Which I was before my mum died and I neglected myself and put weight on.

So I am looking for some trousers. I have a mum tum/hormonal ‘B’ belly and feel most trousers just enhance it. I have bought a couple of pairs of wide leg trousers which make me look huge. And are always far too long and ridiculously wide as I have fair skin legs in comparison To my middle.

Does anyone have recommendations on trousers or way to elevate my look in general while I get my PCOS back under control and lose the weight.

I really appreciate any help anyone can give.

I personally would not go down the trousers route, they are rarely flattering to larger shapes unless a very stiff denim high waisted jean which is not suitable for a corporate environment.

Instead I'd look at flattering dresses. Perhaps a stylist/personal shopper service at Selfridges or John Lewis.

The more you have your own style the less you'll feel compared to others as well

I sadly have always had an apple shape (big tum), irrespective of dress size. I’ve always preferred trousers/smart separates than dresses, which I feel make me look frumpy (due to my ever present tum). I am envious of your hourglass.

Right now I’m size 16/18. My go-to for the office includes slim cut/straight leg/cigarette style trousers. Wide legged and high waisted are a big no no for me. My ankles are one of my slimmest parts, I need to highlight them 🤣. Trousers in wool or a tweed like fabric, with leather boots or sexy heels, can look quite sharp.

On top I would either go for a cashmere jumper or a cute little blazer/boucle type jacket, depending on how formal I wanted to look. The blazer would either be cropped or 3/4 sleeves, with a skimming top/blouse underneath.

Sometimes I like to mix it up and wear a pencil skirt, with a skimming top/blouse to cover my tum. The tv character, Rachel Zane in Suits, does this look beautifully (though I don’t have her figure & she doesn’t have a tum to hide). But I do get more compliments on the rare occasion I wear a pencil skirt.

Basically I like to wear fitted/slim cut tailored type pieces everywhere except my tum, which I try and disguise with a skimming top.

Smart separates would work in a corporate environment and if in a restricted colour palette, all pieces could go together.

If dressing for a promotion, it’s not just about the clothes. Think about the whole look, hair, accessories, shoes etc. Treat yourself to a couple of beautiful pieces, like a well cut coat, beautiful bag etc. The most important thing is to feel confident in whatever you’re wearing.

You could try going to a department store, spend some time trying different trouser cuts/styles. I spent years avoiding skinny jeans because of my size, yet it’s probably one of the most flattering cuts on me, as it helped show the slimmest part of me & didn’t add bulk to my frame.

Have fun with it. Good luck!

I’m in a similar boat with the weight gain and have gone over to trousers from dresses. Given your body shape you could try a tapered trouser with a mid-rise? Stick to dark colours. You might also try a long cardie , ie to the knee, mid calf or ankle as that will lengthen you out.
I’ve also gone down the route of good shoes, always a belt, and a good bag. 2 of those 3 should match. Also 6 weekly hair cuts and regular manicures will ‘elevate your look’

I feared that would be the answer! Thank you.

This last year I have really struggled to find any dresses I like. I have a few Hobbs/Reiss/ Karen Millan in my wardrobe. Just 2 sizes too small. 🙄😂

I might have to keep looking

I have got some great trousers (not jeans) from NYDJ which are slim but not skinny leg. They also hide a multitude of sins in the tummy area. I vary tops from fitted blouses to looser shirts, and then a really nice cashmere cardigan or a boucle type jacket. I am customer facing so need to be smart-ish but comfort is more important.

I've also invested in some really nice boots, and a smart bag.

Thank you. That’s really helpful.

i am sad to say that i am too ashamed to go actual shopping for clothes. Tbh since mum died I pretty much go to work and that’s it. It’s was 2 years just before Christmas but my anxiety seems to be the same. The weight has made it worse but I feel ready to tackle that at least.

I have the accessories, I have started getting my hair done (that stopped for a while too) and I have a lob that’s always neatly done. I have also started taking care of my skin again and it’s look better lately. I tend to do make up, but fairly minimal as that what I feel comfortable with. I love handbags, coats and jewellery. And have quite alot of very lovely antique jewellery that was my great grandmothers. I still always feel under done.

Though that maybe just my lack of confidence.

I was worried about tapered trousers but I might give them a go. My legs are fairly slim compared to the rest of me so that might work.

Shoes I struggle with. The office is a big site and I spend a lot of the day walking. Which is crippling in heels now I have out weight on. I didn’t want to look for stylish flats though.

Can I ask what sort of boots? I do like the idea of cashmere on the top.

How lucky to have all that gorgeous jewellery to incorporate into your style. I’m starting to think you already look fabulous but don’t yet know it

Yes! Everyone has such great advice!

Straight fit smart trousers, high waisted, chunky gold costume jewellery, interesting belts with smart buckles in black or animal print/skin, stick to block colours, dont do prints (unless youre doing a super cool print midi skirt with a fitted single block colour top), choose on trend colour palettes like navy/grey, hot pink/ navy, all black with an interesting edge on shoes or a top, or even statement tights! (Heck, ive been going to my formal job in fishnets and have pulled it off with aplomb!)

Regardless of size, you CAN pull it off. Sounds like you're halfway there 👏🏻

Thank you. I am going to order a few straight and tapered styles of trousers and try them on at home and send back anything I don’t want.

i probably need to get out of the black clothes only rut as well. So will look at some statement pieces.

@ShinyBandana thank you. I am hoping I look better than feel. 😂

Your jewellery collection sounds awesome. If you can face it, I'd really recommend a session with a John Lewis stylist (or Fenwicks as they do virtual ones) as a starting point. I had to totally overhaul my work wardrobe in 2022 and it was a godsend. They helped me find styles and brands that suited me and it's made shopping so much easier. I now have a lovely capsule wardrobe for work and I mix it up with accessories and shoes.

Biggest tip I can give on trousers is go for a heavier fabric as they hang so much better and are more forgiving on lumps and bumps

Always wear lip stick/gloss and a swoosh of perfume, you will automatically feel good!

On another note; does your work provide counselling for their staff as it would be very helpful to you especially grief counselling. Remember it's confidential so no fear of affecting promotion. Getting support like that will help with weight loss too as you begin to feel stronger. Then you can wear all your lovely dresses again.

I would like to do that. But I did do one many years ago as a size 12 and I was repeatedly told they didn’t have much in my size. It put me off. But things might have changed alot since then.

Yes thin fabric are horrific, thank you for the reminders. I had forgot about that.

@NearlyMonday lipstick is one thing I never wear. Usually a lip balm. Never found a lipstick or gloss I feel suits me. I should try again.

@junebirthdaygirl that might be worth a try actually I didn’t have it just after she died. It was really unexpected and she wasn’t that old. It’s really impacted me. I got 6 sessions through the nhs. Maybe I need to revisit that.

https://tuclothing.sainsburys.co.uk/product/tuc142514744

OOS online but worth a look in store. I find these flattering the legging description is misleading they are very much trousers.

I have a tum and find I need structured trousers that are firm at the front. Nothing with side pockets & straight / slim leg.

I have these in both colours . Wear & wash well

https://www.marksandspencer.com/straight-leg-ankle-grazer-trousers/p/clp60592230?intid=mobile_app_pdp_share

I'm a fairly tall 18/20 and wear trousers most of the time. I suit them more than dresses. I don't think the pp who said plus size women can't wear trousers is correct at all.

I wear straight leg or bootcut rather than wide leg. I'd keep looking (unless you're truly happier in dresses/skirts)

https://sargassoandgrey.com/collections/wide-fit-boots I've got a pair of the navy and brown boots (flat ones) and live in them. The zip at the back makes them feel a bit smarter than normal boots, and they fit my chunky legs perfectly.