Struggling with body image

[Mama1209]

Hi I’m nearly 40, always been super slim and confident with my body. I’ve had 3 children (baby is 18mnths). I put so much weight on during covid, then my pregnancy and with age everything had just gone to s*it! I never have time to work out or be organised enough to eat healthy. I feel like my husband does not find me attractive anymore. We go on holiday abroad in a few days and I know I should feel super lucky and excited to be able to take my family on holiday and I just want to enjoy it, but my body image is making me not want to go. I’ve been trying clothes on and nothing fits. I’m worried I’ll feel self conscious. We are going to a family resort, so surely there will be other mums who feel the same as me there? I really want to make changes in the new year but it’s such a struggle when you work, have kids and are getting older, I feel like you have to work twice as hard and it’s all just so overwhelming!

I only have two kids but I feel this so, so much!! There's just not the time, or the energy! My youngest is still breastfed and up anywhere between 2-6 times a night. I've tried to get up before everyone else to make a good, healthy breakfast and try some exercise but every time I do one of the kids wakes up 5 minutes later, even when my alarm goes off at 5:30 🙄 It's just hard!

I've spent my Christmas and birthday vouchers today on some nice workout gear from Next, some sketchers and some lovely, proper skincare in a bid to get myself in order, because I have to! I'm going to start with a walk and/or a 15/30 minute Joe Wicks in the evenings and aim to do that 3/4 evenings a week because it's really all I can hope to manage atm. I'm hoping that'll be a decent enough start and then I can work from there.

I was treated to a hair cut (it has been 13 months since my last one) and my nails done (only had them done once, for my wedding) for Christmas and that really made me feel so much better. I think it's really to hard even focus on your weight when you overwhelmed and self conscious when you look in the mirror (maybe it's just me) but I've found spending a bit of time on things I can change straight away, like nails and hair, have spurred me on to make change and have pulled me out of a rut a bit.

I think there'll probably be plenty of mums on holiday feeling like you BTW! I hope you can enjoy it, I know it's easier said than done when you don't feel confident, especially around a pool, but your kids will just be delighted to be away and spending time with you, and I also have no doubt that they think they you're absolutely perfect!

@Cocomelon2019 its so hard! Then you have people saying “we all have the same hours in the day” and that just makes you feel like even more of a failure! Plus I don’t enjoy the gym and food is my “treat/ reward” so it’s a hard cycle to break! I’ve joined a running club and ordered some meal preps for the new year. I think I need some blood tests too as feel so run down and I think peri menopausal which does not help!

I think because I’ve never had to worry about what I looked like before it’s come as more of a blow. I’ve always just been able to wear what I want, go into the shop and pick the smallest size off the wrack. Now I’m in specialist bras etc and have to really shop around for things to fit me.

yes I hope others on holiday look/ feel the same as me.

Everyone else will be just as self conscious as you, and will be too worried about how they look themselves to even notice you. I guarantee that you won’t be anywhere close to being the biggest person, or the oldest person, or the most out of shape person there.

I know it sounds a real cliche, but try to keep in mind that nobody else is looking at or judging you - they’re probably just thinking about their own body hang ups (that nobody else would notice anyway!). Holidays are precious family time, enjoy every minute and don’t waste a second thinking about your body. Be in the moment and don’t give it headspace!!

When we went on holiday in the summer, I was feeling really self conscious. But upon having a really good look at all the other women, there was only 1 woman who I thought I'd trade bodies with. Made me realise we have this "ideal" vision in our head, but 99% of women don't look like that! Definitely made me feel better.