I have lost touch with what suits me.

[LostInClothes]

I have got into a rut, or a spiral, and can't get out.
I am thinking that what I do like might not really suit me. I love the whole loose fit, tapered leg, layered look of clothes like Sahara, Toast, Monty Don thread, but none of the cuts and especially the dark earthy colours seem to suit me. I look terrible in anything Seasalt or flowery and hate the feel of high waists!

I noticed that clothes seem to 'wear me' as opposed to me wearing them, unless I am super casual. Whyyyyy??
I love the idea of a loose corduroy midi dress or wide trousers in velvet or wool but I seem to disappear in them. I adore the older Jane Birkin slouchy look but don't know where to start. Maybe I have a little head or something?

Photos attached, I am on the thinner side with a small waist and boobs. My pics are shit but the best I could find to show head and body. I am 5'4 and my hair is long and wavy from the ears down in natural colour (it is tied back here). I am fairly content with myself but I feel like a lot of clothes make me look studenty/scruffier than I am and I long to look more mature, graceful, etc.

Btw one pic is in my pj's and the other on a winter walking holiday. I am a bit lost and don't know how to proceed. Would love some advice or tips on potential colours/shapes/silhouette.

Pics removed by MNHQ at OP's request.

I think if you like a certain aesthetic of certain shops then don’t discount it completely just maybe try and build up the look from shops that are cut to suit your figure and in a colour palette that suits you. Could you take a day and go to your nearest shopping centre or high street and then spend time trying stuff on, take photos and then over a break flick through the photos and then go back and buy the items?

Thank you Britpop, I have done something similar when I had some time on my hands! I noticed very trendy items make me look younger than I would like, or childish.
I didn't have much success, hence my hopeless post. At this point I don't know whether it's me or if it's because clothes are all so horribly cut now. Bit of both

You look great and obviously have a fab figure. I can see that some of the labels you’ve referenced would swamp you but Toast for example do a lot of neater pieces that would look very cute on someone with your frame. In particular the pinafore dresses and more sharper cut skirts.

Personally I’m not sure the oversized trousers would do you many favours but you’re very slim so could carry off those with a more close fitting cut.

But why have you scribbled out your face on one photo only?

Your Winter walk outfit is perfection. And I can see that sludgy coloured, voluminous cords might not be your very best look. You just need alternative inspiration. And to be convinced that maturity and grace tend not to reside in individual items of clothing but in feeling comfortable in one’s skin. (She said … 🙄)

You have a fab face and figure!

I think you would look great in wide leg trousers and also a drain pipe silhouette but would need a defined waist to stop the clothes wearing you. Have you tried Oliver Bonas?

Instagram is also a great source of inspiration. I like Lydia Thomlinson and she might have some good base ideas for a well put together look where you just swap out some of her shapes.

How about something neatly fitting and colourful from

& Daughter

or

American Vintage

The scribble face is at hand on ipad (original isnt) as have used it elsewhere. The face pic is the only one I con tolerate with full visage My hair is more dark ash in outdoor light.

I like the idea of cropped knits and seem to suit more fitted tops. I hated the skinny jeans phase as long baggy tops tend not to work on me. I love that whole floaty luxury knit look at Poetry but again it feels out of place on me. I know there's nothing technically wrong with the way I look and I do appreciate that, but I am really at a loss with clothes. Something of a 'uniform' would be great for me.
I wore jeans and a seasalt plain tee this afternoon and felt drab but decent. Maybe I should keep it simple and go to town on accessories.

I tried on a much reduced midnight blue furry winter coat from M&S today and it was glorious, a couple of women came over and complimented me, which is bloody rare. Would never, ever have imagined myself to look good in a long furry coat.
It looked like this one from White Company but not as nice, if only I had the ££££ to splash on that (not to mention the models glorious hair)!

Lovely stuff, thanks for the suggestions, too.
& Daughter a bit too expensive though. My budget is in the White Company range really.

I love these and these but know I'd look like a clown in them:(

I'd look at COS, and Arket. I've also just bought some nice jumpers for the winter from Superdry - I was really surprised by their knitwear. Barbour coats (try Vinted to keep cost down) would suit you too.

ThisIsMothership is a great Instagram account to follow. Both the ladies who run it have figures similar to yours and they like monochrome, layers, a pop of colour and quite 'clean' looks. They recommend a good mixture of brands too from a price point of view.

I'm not keen on the fabric of those Ikat trousers - I'd prefer no print and I think they'd keep their shape better in in a sturdier fabric - but I don't think either of them are outlandish. I'm shorter than you and I wear that shape. I'm very fond of the Monty Don look too although I'm careful about proportions and fabrics and I avoid anything too droopy.

I think it's a perfectly achievable look and, if you're drawn to it, then I'd trust your instincts.

Colour is another matter though! This kind of look does seem to come a lot in sludgy colours - I quite like them but I agree they don't work for everyone.

I have been feeling exactly like this and am improving it by going down a rabbitt hole of working out my kibbe body type. Game changing would be putting it mildly - if you haven't tried this would highly recommend. It has helped my confidence too, just saying that as you mentioned not being able to bear some photos of yourself (hugs).

What kind of body shape are you? I know you're very slim.

I'm an hourglass shape. Baggy clothes really don't suit me. I can get away with wide legged trousers at a push, but need to make sure they sit right at the waist and wear them with a tight top tucked in. My outfits need some kind of definition at the waist otherwise they look awful.

I felt the same, and tried a free personal stylist appointment at John Lewis. It was really helpful.

Ah! I was on the Kibbe Reddit a while ago, I posted the pic with my face scribbled out! I didn't get much traction there and still have no idea, I certainly wasn't dramatic or Romantic. I struggle with the other ones though.

My shape: Not hourglass but not pear, maybe in between?
Narrow shoulders, small waist, 30b chest, average hips, slightly fleshier thighs compared to lower legs, which won't build calf muscle at all.
I have a relatively shorter torso and longer legs for my height, possibly why I don't like high rise.

I showed my DH the baggy pantaloons and he guffawed, not what I'd call a Toast sort of chap I think he's stuck in M&S circa 1996.

Lovely photo OP. I very much empathise with the feeling of being a style rut. I think what's helped.me is worrying less about my age/what I think women my age should be wearing, but I know that's much easier said than done. I also put a LOT of faith in online shopping in that I've accepted I'm just going to have to send a lot of stuff back, but for me that's a price with paying for not having to traipse around a depressing high st, and to be able to try stuff on in my own home/with clothes I already own.

I do think it's important to realise that just because you have something you like from one shop, it doesn't mean everything else from there will suit you, and vice versa. I have a coat I love from Seasalt, and some of their knitwear, but the leaf-printed jersey stuff does absolutely nothing for me and I avoid it like the plague. Likewise my current fave jeans are from River Island, a place I last regularly shopped in 25 years ago 😁

Also I stopped worrying too much about perceived "rules" - I was put off ankle/cropped jeans with trainers in the winter because of exposed (but stylish).ankles...now I just have a boatload of plain grey socks for that purpose.

I buy quite a bit on Vinted/eBay, so I can try out shapes and styles cheaply. I tend to spend more on coats and shoes, as they get more wear and I expect them to last longer, and if I find something I really love I just buy two immediately, and NEVER feel guilty about it.

I think what tends to make me feel more up-to-date is shapes/silhouettes rather than pattern, fabric or colour, so I focus on that more - my cardigans are now more cropped, and have ballon-type sleeves, for example.

Best of luck with it all, and keep us updated!