When will this jeans and sweatshirts childrearing era end??

[Mindmeld2023]

I love jeans. I don't mind sweatshirts. I like to be comfy and practical but MY GOD I just want to be be able to wear like... a silky dress with fishnets and chunky loafers. Or Nice Jeans or a leather skirt with one of my lovely handwash only jumpers. Maybe some eyeliner, maybe some perfume, maybe, heaven forfend, a bracelet. But every day it's jeans and a sweatshirt, or shorts and a baggy shirt. Everything machine washable. My nice clothes live in the loft.

However, I am a SAHM to three kids 5 and under (three was not the plan, SAHM was not the plan- we had a set of twins and have run out of money) and everything gets covered in mud and yoghurt. My hair gets pulled out of whatever style I put it into, jewellery gets pulled and fiddled with, jumpers get pulled on etc etc. I love having my nails painted (at home, by me!) but I spend my life washing my/the kids hands, washing up etc.

I absolutely do not wish away the years, and being present with the kids and not freaking out about my clothes getting ruined (my mum had four kids and dressed immaculately, but she would become furious if we got mud or whatever on her so she was pretty hands off) is something which is important to me.

When will I be able to wear nice clothes again?? And any tips for what I can do in the meantime to still feel like me? I know in the grand scheme of things this is no great shakes, but I have literally nothing left in my life for me, and the clothes I put on my body are beginning to change who I am on the inside, and I don't like it.

Depends on the child and any additional needs, but I would say youngest child hitting 7 is when you have a reasonable chance of making out of the house unstickified. Sorry if that seems a long way off.

Wear the perfume and eyeliner now though. They make you feel more human and that’s important, even if you’re stuck in a Duplo-infested madhouse all day.

Hahaha duplo-infested madhouse is exactly it. With a side of playdough encrusted carpet and dried shreddies on my bum.

7 I can deal with, I think. Thank you.

I really clearly remember the first night I put some of my non- mum clothes on and they stayed clean in the run up to me going out...it was a coral silk vest and some leather jeggings. Not particularly cool but just nice for a meal out.
When I'd not been covered in anything and got out of the front door I honestly did a little victory dance. Youngest was 3, but been in messy parenting stage for 7 years by then!
Such a cliche, but that their little pudgy hands don't cover me in anything anymore, is a bit tinged with sadness.

You'll get there OP. Days are long, years are short and all that. Currently on holiday with my eldests boyfriend joining us. It lovely, but..... no idea how we got to this stage!

I’m not a mum, so feel free to ignore me - but would it help to get nicer jeans and sweatshirts that you feel good in? I got a lovely black sweatshirt from Cos recently that I wore this week with some green cords (also Cos from a few years ago) and black Samba trainers - it was a good outfit! For my shape Levi’s jeans are the best fit regardless of the style, and since I wear jeans a lot I prioritise spending on pairs that fit well and look nice. (I have a few pairs I got on Depop for pennies.) Also from Depop I have some really fab vintage American sweatshirts which are super soft and comfy, cost practically nothing, but look “cool”.

I definitely agree with pp about wearing the perfume and eyeliner, just based on the Covid/WFH era.

Just wear different things and wash them when they get dirty.

Sending you support. I am a mum
Of twins and was a sahm inflected due to childcare costs
It does get better
You can wear hoop earrings etc
I alas got fat in Covid and nothing fits any more but I could wear nice clothes now if I wasn't such a lardarse

I don’t care about the handprints. I would feel shit if I didn’t dress the way I like to so I wear what I want and roll with the mess.
I have a very nice wardrobe & a very good washing machine 😁

I agree with when the youngest is 7.

Mind you, other things come into play at that point, if you’re still a SAHM….

I think a good coat, fun trainers and simple accessories like statement sunglasses and then do your hair and makeup is a good happy medium?

Maybe talk to your partner and plan more time in the week for you to do whatever you want.

I'm still totally in the leggings and sweatshirts stage too btw. But I've invested more in my hair and skincare which makes me feel good. In summer I'll take the time once a week to scrub and shave and do my tan. I do my nails once or twice a week as well. I think just those little bits of self care really do go a long way in making you feel more presentable.

Get your clothes out of the loft and wear at least some of them
Because they will be out of fashion when you are out of this phase (speaking from experience)