Dresses with uncomfortable waist ties

[flipperdoda]

Hi - I am trying to stop just wearing jeans all the time and actually try with my clothes. I am starting by considering getting rid of clothes that don't make me feel good (considering, because I'm at work right now so can't do anything active!) but I have a question.

I have a nice fatface dress. I like the colour, the pattern, etc. It has a waist tie i.e. two pieces of fabric, one each side, attached at the waist. I naturally tie them behind my back - but then I have a knot of fabric sat in my lower back which is very uncomfortable particularly when driving.

Am I doing this totally wrong? Would you tie at the front, or at the back but differently, or snip the whole thing off (it doesn't sit at my natural waist, which is another annoyance) and use a belt instead!? Or other option.

I'm feeling quite self-conscious about clothes at the moment so honest but kind answers would be appreciated!

This is the dress, if it helps! (Not mine, I'm not selling it) www.ebay.co.uk/itm/275412915457?var=575957524516&mkevt=1&mkcid=1&mkrid=710-53481-19255-0&campid=5338749399&toolid=20006&customid=GB_11450_275412915457.142815173476~1924506603327-g_CjwKCAjws9ipBhB1EiwAccEi1K_DYbgH7IkG878aAIHoHRdV8btchHKXJGq8ebV_MoZ3DzdLIlp6CBoCZj8QAvD_BwE

I dislike that type of dress. Such a cheap way of giving a shapeless thing some appearance of structure. And as there’s no waist actually tailored for the dress, you’ll get bunched fabric at the back whatever you cinch it with.

So I would:

a) not buy it
b) cut the fabric belt off and use a decent leather belt
c) on a better dress, have the fabric made into a proper belt with a buckle at the front. (I wouldn’t actually do that but it’s an option. Though disproportionate to the cost of the dress.)

I think I may be (belatedly) realising I also don't like the style! I'll try it with a belt I guess, and donate it if I'm still not happy. It looks better in real life than it does in those photos but starting to realise that since I'm already not doing great at wearing "proper" clothes I need to not keep stuff I'm not confident in!

At least it's not just me!

If you look at this dress - it’s also an oval shape, but in a fabric and cut designed to hold it away from the body. It’s quite a specific style, which not everyone will love, but at least it has the courage to be what it is!

https://www.plumo.com/products/Rae-Cord-Dress.html

I'd snip the belt off and wear one of my own.

The waist never sits in the right place for me either.

Yes - I would never wear that, but I can see the point you're making!

Thank you both 😊

I tie at the front but to the left side. Tying at the back reminds me of dresses for little girls.

That one looks like a cheap version of a Two Danes dress that Plumo used to sell.
The Two Danes one is lovely. I have more than one. I'll see if I can find a photo.
The owners of Two Danes have retired so there probably won't be anywhere selling them.

A bit like this one.

The Two Danes one had raglan sleeves and the shoulders hung better than the one in the Plumo link

Sell/donate all the clothes you're uncomfortable with, or that no longer suit your style. You will feel much better knowing you look and feel great in what you have. Which, in turn, helps you make different choices going forward.