Shoes vs dresses (for an event)

[EnterFunnyNameHere]

Hi all, looking for some advice as I'm out of my comfort zone...!

I have been invited to an industry awards event. It's very unlikely that I will actually win anything (!), but if my company does I might well end up collecting "on behalf of", and regardless there will probably be photos taken.

I have a very "informal" style, usually a shorts/tshirts/hoodies/sneakers sort really. So I'm well out of my comfort zone! I have three dresses I like (and basically fit), the middle is my favourite but I've put on a bit of weight since I got it and it errs slightly on the "over-stuffed sausage" at present... the one on the left is also nice but goes out a bit more over my bigger waist than I'd like... I have two slightly more smart pairs of shoes, but I'm not sure either pair go with any dress!

So basically, I'd love some advice on whether either pair of shoes goes with any dress, and if not, ideas for a dress which matches the shoes or shoes that match the dress!

Probably pertinent: I have eu42 feet and prefer round toed shoes as I think pointy toes make my feet look enormous. I'd also prefer lower heels if possible as I'm tall already and want to look photogenic in a crowd... For clothes I'm an 16-18 bottom (closer to 18) and a 14-16 top (closer to 14).

So I'm picky as well as everything else I'm afraid, I just think I look crap in most smarter stuff so stick to more casual - I'd really like to not cringe whenever I see these photos in future as they'll be in a few newsletter etc 😔 Thank you for any advice or ideas!

(Do you have another current thread? Don’t want to repeat suggestions you might already have rejected elsewhere.)

I wouldn’t say any of the dresses was ideal for a Winter awards ceremony. The first two seem like Summer holiday wear, the velvet (sorry) is a bit Vinted bridesmaid from years gone by. If you’re going to be photographed in a high profile work context you really need something seasonal and up to date, that fits.

Assuming it’s not a black tie event your black boots would probably be fine. And it’s probably easier to find a dress than well fitting footwear.

How much would you want to spend on a dress? And might you consider anything else, like a trouser suit, for instance?

Hi, no - no other threads!

The blue one isn't velvet, it's more chiffon or something. So a bit floaty(ish).

I agree that it's easier to find a dress than shoes, but I'm not really sure what would go with those boots (either pair!). And I'm not sure they are really smart enough (but what do I know). I've found a pic of a very similar event and it seems more strappy shoes than boots are the right choice...

I could probably spend a bit on something, I think I just slightly begrudge it as it isn't something I'll ever wear again, but that is the deal I guess... maybe £150-£200 depending on if I need new shoes as well?

I'd prefer to avoid a trouser suit as I'm over 6' tall, and finding decent trousers that fit is a lot harder than finding a dress!!

Ah - clearly black tie!

In which case, yes, you’d probably prefer more formal footwear.

If you’re determined not to wear the dress you choose again, it might be best to hire something? This should help:

https://www.elle.com/uk/fashion/g29187954/rent-dress/

It's not that I don't want to wear it again particularly, it's more that the reason I've made it to 40 without having anything like this is because I've not needed it - so unlikely to need it again haha

Hiring could be a thought though - maybe I need to try and find tolerable shoes and then find something that matches?

Any ideas on flat but formal shoes??

I like the blue dress, and you could bling it up with jewellery. For example a pair of fabulous arm cuffs/ bracelets.

how about shoes to match the detail on the dress, is it silver?

These are square toed not round, but they’re not pointed;
https://www.riverisland.com/p/silver-bow-heeled-court-shoes-752349?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIrorSh7bmgQMVzdbtCh2UUgjCEAQYHCABEgIwGvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

I also think the blue works best, but you posted images of boots not shoes, so I think you’d need to find a pair of actual shoes to go with the dress for a black tie.

Really like the blue dress, very suitable for the event but agree shoes are a must. They don’t need to be strappy though. The link above for silver ones has several, both flat and low heeled.
And silver or pale grey shoes would probably work with both of your other two dresses for future occasions (when you’re happier with weight again).

Sorry OP none of those dresses are giving the wow factor that an awards ceremony needs. The blue one is going in the right direction... the other 2 are summer dresses. And the 'shoes' you've shown are outdoor boots and definitely wouldn't go with any of the dresses you've shown.

As you're tall, this blue maxi length dress would be good on you - and comes in way under budget at £85, which gives you plenty left over to get some party shoes.

www.sosandar.com/sapphire-blue-plisse-sheer-sleeve-maxi-dress

That could work - maybe not a necklace because the embellishment is all arpund the neck already, but some bangles/cuffs?

The shoes are pretty good too (I am fussy with shoes!) although not sure why all the round/square toed shoes seem to have little bows on...! But maybe some silver shoes and jewelry??

Oh - actually, if the blue dress might work @fernsandlilies@Incognito2023@Janieforever (edit: quoted the wrong person!) I have these (which I don't love but are OK to actually wear)? With lots of nice jewelry??

I agree with the consensus on shoes (unfortunately, since I detest shoe shopping!).

I'm not a fan of that dress I'm afraid - although I really appreciate the suggestion. I'm not really into glitter and I cannot stress enough how bad long sleeves look on me unless they are specially made. Even for my height I have very long arms and legs and things intended to be floor length/wrist length just look very unflatteringy short! 😁

The shoes will work. None of it is really black tie ish but they will do. And with hair and makeup I think you will be fine.

What about it isn't black tie enough? I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to be wearing as you can probably tell 😕 It would be easier if I could wear some killer heels, but aside from the fact I'd probably fall off them (!) I already look a right goon in group photos as I'm almost always the tallest one!

Hair and make up is a whole different issue as do nothing with the first and don't wear the second.

Fun times! Maybe I should just try and find some decent trousers that actually fit and do something androgynous instead!! 😁

I don’t like the blue dress very much - it is quite dated. I wouldn’t say the other two are suitable for the event.

im guessing you’ve got good legs? How about something like this https://www.johnlewis.com/phase-eight-gianna-velvet-mini-dress-black/p109312594

or this https://www.johnlewis.com/french-connection-krista-mini-dress-black/p110522515

Simple shapes, not too feminine, quite dramatic and good with your height?

or something like this which is a bit softer and would work well with those blue flats? https://www.johnlewis.com/phase-eight-mimi-pleat-dress-navy/p109742974

The blue dress and the shoes are fine. Some gold or silver jewellery, bangles, big hoop earrings. All fine.

I wish you were more accepting of your feet … At six foot tall no one is going to expect you to have tiny feet, and the shoes you seem to favour - extremely plain, cheap looking ballet flats, really won’t do you justice. They look so timid and … throwaway. I’m sure you’d look fine in some more noticeable, structured, fashionably pointed flat shoes, like these, for example:

https://www.ganni.com/en-gb/red-wide-welt-buckle-ballerinas-S2157.html

I'd be more than happy in a mini, but I thought that "short" was out of the picture for black tie?

I'd happily wear that middle one with my black boots 😁but aware that's not really in keeping with the aim of dressing more formal possibly!!

Thanks for the boost! It's not really that I have a problem with my feet, I just don't think that flat pointed shoes are very flattering at my size and heels make me too tall in a networking environment.

I dont favour cheap plain ballet flats by any strech though in normal life. I'm happy in my biker boots, my heeled timberlands and my stripey tennis sneakers etc, I think it's just styles which are meant to look delicate I don't think work on me!

Those blue shoes work well with the dress. Quite agree that if you are both tall and not used to heels then you should stick to your comfort zone with flats.

I think many posters on here are very fashionable /style-conscious (obv -look at the board name!) hence comments about your dress being possibly outdated or not black-tie enough. But I think it looks classic and definitely evening wear.

But you did say you are unlikely to go to more events or wear anything you buy again? So I’m getting the sense that high fashion and glamorous is not really your main reason for posting and that you just want to be presentable and not stand out? Especially as your style is very casual normally and you don’t even wear make-up etc. So it would be daft to spend a lot of money for this one-off?

I think the blue dress and shoes you have already are just right for the occasion

But if you want to make an effort to be more dressy maybe you could get your hair ‘put up’ at a hairdressers on the day - if it’s long enough. (I have long hair and live in the expensive SE and it costs £25-30 and it makes me feel special. My friend’s much shorter hair costs even less). Or even go the whole hog and get some make-up too?

I think you've got it here @Incognito2023 - and also thank you as I am a bit stressed at some of the comments as it feels like I'm just going to look daft (which I know is not PP's intention and I really appreciate everyone who has commented taking the time to do so).

I'm pretty confident in my dress sense and style day to day/"normal" parties etc. But this is not my normal scene at all and I don't want to stand out as the person who didn't get the memo re dress code 😥I'd spend money on something that I really liked, but you're correct that it's not like I'm going to have the occasion to wear it often...

I also like the idea of getting hair (and maybe make up) "done" as that might give me a boost too.

I just don't want to look like a fool in front of my colleagues and clients basically.

Thank you

You won't look a fool. I get it OP, I had to go to an awards thing recently and all my party dresses are now too small (thanks covid/menopause) and just not quite right.

You need to feel comfortable in whatever you wear. But please don't worry about height and foot size! Just wear what YOU want to wear. Who cares if you're taller than some of the people there?

I wore trousers and a nice top to the last awards do I went to. I didn't stick out. I felt comfortable and no one batted an eye. There was the full range of styles at the event. And lots of booze, so everyone was happy.

Getting your hair and makeup done is a good idea to make you feel special. If you don't want to get anything new, don't. But please don't not get anything because 'tall' and 'feet'.

I think that dress is a perfectly decent dress - it might not be up to the minute but as long as it fits you properly I don't think it will make you stand out as having got the wrong end of the stick on the dress code. Same with the navy ballet pumps.

I think there tends to be two attitudes towards events from people who don't attend regularly: the first type who will resent spending money on something they aren't going to use again, who do want to look decent and fit in but mainly just want to get back to their normal clothing. And the second type who are really excited about an opportunity/excuse to get something for their wardrobe that they don't normally need and will enjoy spending the money.

If you're the former sort and you spend money on a dress you'll resent it whenever you see the photos. If you're the latter sort and you don't you'll resent it every time you see the photos!

Thank you @JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn that's kind to say.

Without getting too philosophical about it, I had a long period of feeling really miserable about how I looked and after a lot of general soul searching realised it was because I was trying to dress how I thought a 30-something year old should dress, not how I actually felt good... Having got rid of all that stuff and invested in biker boots, denim shorts, patterned t shirts and bodycon dresses I feel more "me" than I have done since I was early 20s!

So it sort of feels like I'm just playing "dress up as a adult" with a lot of "proper" black tie wear and even for one night, I don't want to feel like that - but equally I do know my normal style isn't appropriate foe this kind event.

So sort of toeing a weird line between wearing what I want but also blending in!

(And I'd rather save my money for another nice hat, as if I do say so myself, I rock a good hat!)

😉

Haha @Papillon23 yes, definitely the former type I'm afraid! 😄

I think the navy and cream one is the best of the three particularly if it fits nicely and you are comfortable with it. It’s definitely within the boundaries of what will be acceptable and normal on the night. I didn’t like the Sosander one which was linked at all - that looked a bit cheap and itchy to me.

If the shoes are the right shade of blue, they will also be fine or you could take the opportunity to splash out on a pair of dressier shoes for such occasions.

Having your hair and make up done is also a good idea. I’m off to an awards do later this evening and have just had mine done. It’s transformed me to such an extent that my facial ID log in does not work on my phone 😂. What I wasn’t expecting though was for the make up artist to expect quite detailed instructions about how I wanted my make up to look so top tip would be google for images of people you think look how you would like to look before you have it done.

My event tonight is on the more formal side but still a work do and I’m going to wear this - hopefully straddling the more glamorous than my day style with the not getting my knockers out for my colleagues divide! It was on the pricey side but I go to several of these kinds of events every year and can always sell it on when I get bored with it, so I am hoping I will get value out of it.