An empty nest and a crap wardrobe - please help!

[Scatternobrains]

Hi,

both my kids are now at uni and I feel its time to focus on me and I definitely need an overhaul in every sense of the word.

I need to get a life, hobbies, date nights with the hubby and more friends that may also have older children. Many of my closest friends have small children in tow and whilst I love them all, I would love some friends who don't have to bring the kids, plan baby-sitters and could just pack up and go for a cheeky weekend away last minute.

I feel like first step is my wardrobe. My god that needs help and I think I will get a huge confidence boost.

I am 42, 5'3 and about 13.5 stone generally a size 16. I have cracking boobs, big hips, a big bum but I do have a waist. My legs are trying to imitate tree trunks and I defiantly don't have ankles, I rock the cankles kind of look and try to cover these up. As a result I have always been drawn to long dresses and boots (although for the last 10 years have found my self in jeans and a long tops which don't do me justice). With autumn approaching it feels like the perfect time to rock long dresses and skirts with a pair of knee high boots and look like the sexy, confident beast that is in me somewhere.

I have lived in clothes mostly from next, oasis, monsoon and perhaps the supermarkets but now its my time and I really want to spoil my self and build a capsule wardrobe filled with quality items.

This week I searched on mumsnet for old posts about clothing shops for the 40 something and used the answers to check out a few. I have bought a gorgeous long black shirt dress from John Lewis, and a pair of brown knee high boots from Duo, a nice chunky chain link necklace and bracelet from John Lewis. They have arrived today, I have just gotten out of my Pj's and tried them on. I looked great, and felt like me again for the first time in about 10 or 20 years. Thats who I want to see in the mirror.

https://www.johnlewis.com/ro-zo-modal-pocket-detail-shirt-dress-black/p110988305?size=16&s_ppc=2dx_mixed_fashion_BAU&tmad=c&tmcampid=2&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIkeevk5ncgQMVAkJBAh2rNQALEAQYAiABEgLuXfD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

https://duoboots.com/products/harper-black-suedette? I found a new brown pair on eBay for £60

https://www.johnlewis.com/tutti-co-two-tone-chunky-chain-necklace-silver-gold/p5340045

https://www.johnlewis.com/tutti-co-two-tone-oval-link-chain-bracelet-silver-gold/p5309586

and have a skirt and top (which could make me look like I have a shelf) coming any day from Me & Em

https://www.meandem.com/jacobean-cord-tiered-skirt-indigo-yellow-brown

https://www.meandem.com/soft-rib-roll-neck-top-cream

So I am looking for places to shop now, places that do beautiful quality clothes, place that I may not have heard of or looked. I don't have loads of money but will build this slowly over time and I am happy to spend up to £150/200 on a banging dress, £100 on amazing tops, and if I can find trousers to fit me right and flatter my shape then that would be amazing.

Please help me, where else can I shop to build this new wardrobe?

Recommended as a great way to meet new people, get some easy exercise and have fun. Did it when mine flew the nest...a bit older than you at the time...and it has been a great past time.
And love the clothes you bought.

Change of hair colour doesn’t change your season. Hair is usually covered when your colours are done.

Bombshell HQ website are great. Check out their outlet section too.

Stitch Fix were good for gradual wardrobe change but they have shut down! I used them for a couple of years.

They did introduce me to Sugarhill Brighton though. Very good if you like a bit of colour and they go up to size 22.

https://www.sugarhillbrighton.com/collections/new-arrivals/products/rita-jumper-black-multi-stars-stripes

SimplyBe do some great shoes.

https://www.simplybe.co.uk/shop/p/bh833

Me & Em do lovely smart/casual tailoring that is also comfortable so would be appropriate for prison visits. They are a bit pricy but have good sales. I'm also a big fan of Toast trousers

reckon this would look great with that necklace and boots, or flat tan coloured boots and a mustard cardie. Stick a camisole underneath to stop it being so low cut.
Purple Crossover V Neck Vintage Wrap Top Swing Dress - Pretty Kitty Fashion
Do you like a scarf? I'm a big fan of scarves to bring in some colour and change the feel of outfits (silk vs pashmina vs chunky knit, for example).

There's also a rather gorgeous coral dress:
Coral Vintage A Line Crossover Capped Sleeve Tea Swing Dress - Pretty Kitty Fashion

I love my PrettyKitty dress. I find any excuse to wear it!

This thread in Classics is a great place to start looking for some ideas about what you want to look like and what items of clothing you need to achieve these looks:

Excellent old thread - In Pursuit of Elegance

Don’t be put off by the ‘elegance’ - it’s full of great tips from the OP and posters

I'm in my early 50's and not retired but I like the sounds of your plans for your wardrobe.

I wear similar colours and I also like decent quality stuff. I shop mainly in:
ME+EM - good sales and everything I have is excellent quality
Whistles - I buy for work here, great basics for decent trousers, knitwear and coats
Sezane - definitely worth a browse. I have some lovely things from here
Noa Noa, I used to buy lots from here and find the quality very good.
Wyse London, expensive but lovely
Anthropologie, I have a couple of nice dresses from here
Jigsaw -also good for work trousers and shirts
Mint Velvet - the quality is definitely not as good as some of the other brands but I bought some lovely summer weight wide legged trousers for there last year and have worn them loads
ba&sh -I have some beautiful things from them, but french and small sizes. We have an outlet and I have amazing boots and bags from here

Is Colour Me Beautiful still around? If so. I suggest a colour and style consultation. It is life changing really, best money I ever spent: I find it much easier and quicker to shop for clothes as I know what styles and colours suit me.

The consultation cost was an investment but one that paid back very quickly, I literally do not waste money in clothes: everything I have in my cupboard fits and looks great so I use everything in it.

I don’t keep old clothes that don’t suit or fit me anymore, there’s no point to it. Live your life as you plan to live it these days but don’t dress yourself in clothes that make you feel meh, don’t save your best clothes for special ocasiones, use them everyday… to make feel and look great 🙂

I had a Colour Me Beautiful session last year and went through clothing, colours and make up, which was helpful in confirming the style I liked (but not doing for the last 10/20) and the colours I would normally buy were pretty much right for me. It definitely helps to have the little colour book, although I have put it some where and not sure where at the moment. Currently seem to be injecting a fair bit of black and camel in my new purchases but will try hard to bring in items of colour to add to most outfits.

ooo thats helpful. I have just ordered from Me+EM and Mint Velvet and have definately seen lots of things in Sezane, Whistels and Wyse. There's a few listed there that I havent heard of so will check them out too. Thanks for sharing.

I found that post last night and it has really made me think, and also started my own spread sheet. I want the tan bag and the made to measure t shirts, they were great. Great recommendation that hopefully might benefit others lurking, thankyou.

If you want stylish informality, have you thought about lucyandyak.com/ ?

I have a couple of pairs of their dungarees which I like, and do occasionally wear for work.

Similar age to you. I mix the following;

Wyse
Mint Velvet
John Lewis
M&S
Nobody’s child

A few thoughts - accessorise with jewellery, scarfs, a bag and whatever else you can think of. Nip that waist in (think about dresses with a waist belt - I have one from Wyse and one from M&S that do this). Unless you’ve got tonnes of money, I would be mindful of going full-on expensive only. Instead, work out the look you want and mix - match. Wyse have beautiful patterns and cuts, but the quality isn’t any better than M&S / Next often. Loads of luck! X

My tip is tailored clothes. Not just elastic but properly sewn, good quality fabrics. This will last years longer, hang better and flatter your shape more.

If you are thinking of quality clothes and new hobbies, have you considered taking up sewing? With practice, you will get the fit you want in quality fabric finished to a high end spec and hopefully pick up a friend on the way. Lots of day courses online to get you going if you don't already sew.

Great thread !
I literally ordered the John Lewis shirt dress yesterday and I'm looking forward to it arriving!

I love Aspiga for gorgeous dresses.
Great quality and incredibly flattering

I would look at Capsule Closet Stylist she offers loads of help on her blog for this