What do I wear?!

[TulipTuesday]

For any day/occasion?!

I’m in a rut with clothes. I’m 43, shortish (5’3.5), a bit overweight but recently lost just over a stone and hoping to lose more. Currently about a size 12.

The thing is I carry weight in odd places so so many things just hang wrong or look wrong on me. I have a big tummy that’s low and wobbly, chunky legs with massive calfs and large, wobbly upper arms. I have a small rib cage and my waist is good but can’t wear anything that highlights this because of the saggy tummy.

I’ve had a big tummy for so long that for years I wore clothes that I didn’t really like just to cover it and I’m fed up of doing this now.

I want to wear stylish clothes that flatter my shape without looking too old or too young and want to get away from cheap looking materials however I don’t have a lot of money to spend.

I have very few clothes I like (like literally 2 items) and want to buy some stuff that will work for day to day and work but also some nicer going out bits. Work is a smart/casual office where I sit down all day.

I need help from fashionable people! 🙏🏻🙏🏻

How about this? Maybe not terribly wintery, but could accommodate a thin sweater beneath.

https://communityclothing.co.uk/collections/womens-dresses-jumpsuits/products/cotton-dress-straight-red?variant=31765409890358

Or this? It’s one of the more expensive from this designer. If the shape works for you, the length could obviously be altered if necessary. There are others in heavier fabrics - all worth looking at.

https://www.justinetabak.co.uk/collections/dresses/products/ink-linen-bohemian-dress?variant=43250881396992

I think you’re possibly a little overly focused on your self-perceived physical flaws - so you need clothes that will visually distract you from how you think you look underneath them.

So at least one brightly coloured jumper like this. (Lots of colours available.) Pair with some cord or velvet trousers in a similar colour and you have an excellent outfit for lunch at an outdoor table at the pub on Sundays.

https://babaa.es/shop/women/jumpers/jumper-woman-no17-olivera/

And then there’s the jumpsuit. You’d probably look really good in one that fitted well, with plenty of fabric at the back to balance the front. Impossible to say without more detail - but here are a couple at different price points from two brands you may or may not find worthy of attention.

https://beyondnine.co.uk/collections/shop-all/products/charlie-denim-jumpsuit-mid-blue

https://www.eatdustclothing.com/collections/g-o-d-aw23-24/products/w-g-w23-001-cc-355-garage-suit-crispy-cotton-wine

Hi OP, I don't have any specific recommendations of pieces of clothing - but I did want to signpost you to a really good personal stylist Melissa Morrell who has a youtube channel.

She does different videos dressing all sorts of body types, so if you watched a few maybe you could get some tips to dress for your shape.

Here is one specifically covering a larger stomach (I know it says for a size 16-18 but the general advice should be similar), hopefully it helps.

I'd start with watching lots of YouTube videos on how to hide tummies and dress for your shape.
Do you wear Spanx or cycling shorts underneath? Most women I know do this including me, gives a smoother silhouette and probably will accentuate your waist.

If you are on a low budget as you say, try Vinted I got 5 pairs of cords for under 20 quid, skinny widel eg culottes thin cord fat cord then you can try different looks cheaply

Thanks so much for the replies!

@EdmontinaDonsAutumnalHues I love the shape of the red dress but it is rather pricey for one item. I’m also struggling to know what I could wear with midi dresses in autumn and winter. I wear them in summer with trainers and chunky sandals (cliche, I’m sure) but what would I wear with them when it’s cold?

I think I should have also said I live in the working class area of a rural town, as stylish as the jumpsuits and green jumper would look on gorgeous people in London, I reckon they’d stand out in the wrong way around these parts 😄

@Farmageddon Thanks for that link, I’m going to take a look at that for ideas

@Zipps I did buy some shapewear not long ago, it sounds daft but it just seemed to lift the wobbly low belly into a harder, rounder lump in my front rather than flatter in any way, so I sent it back.

@Doggymummar I keep looking on vinted hoping to find something but all I seem to find are old Primark, Shein and Asda tat or logo sweatshirts.

Shops I have locally and are affordable are M&S, Next, H&M, TK Maxx, Matalan and the usual supermarket brands. What shapes should I be looking for and what do I wear with them? I look at wider trousers but then think I’d need to tuck my top in which might not work with my tummy. Also what shoes do I wear with them? I live in Converse at the mo because I have skinny flat feet that fall out of everything else.

Does anyone else struggle to buy clothes like I do? I feel so stupid 🙈

@TulipTuesday when you do look at the YouTube video @Farmageddon has linked, you’ll see it suggests dresses and jumpsuits in pretty much the shapes I’ve suggested! (Plus a few other things.)

I’m not really sure what you mean about Winter footwear? What do you usually wear? (I tend to wear knee high, or ankle boots with dresses and skirts, and shoes with everything where they suit better.)

I was conscious that you hadn’t stated a budget so suggested things that might provide inspiration and / or be replicated at any price point (or bought pre-worn).