Androgeny in middle age

[WhatAmIAsking]

Help!
I'm mid 40s, and have a few smart, evening type events coming up.
I haven't been OUT out for a few years, for whatever reason, and suddenly find I have no idea what to wear with my new age and "updated" shape...

In my youth, I generally dressed quite androgenously, and to events like these, I'd wear, say, slouchy, wide pinstriped trousers, flat or chunky shoes/trainers, and a tight top or shirt. Of course, back then, I was skinny (and I like to think quite stylish). Although I'm still fairly slim (size 10), I now have quite a bust, a saggier bum, and am a generally thicker set, with, erm, quite mumsy hair.

Now, I feel like the androgenous style I feel best in will just make me look frumpy and shapeless. Do I have to learn to wear dresses? Help?

I am wearing those kind of trousers right now 😁
Definitely get your hair cut. I recently went for a significant restyle, it's been liberating and I am enjoying looking really different.

Following with interest!
I went short hair last year and I love it! ESP on a rainy day like today where I just restyle with my fingers.
You sound too cool to be mumsy.

A good bra that really is your size, get fitted if you haven't been checked recently. I do wear shaping knickers for special events even if trousers are soft style.

Love all the waistcoats, especially the assymmetric ones. My excess fat has gone to my waist and arms, not boobs. I know what you mean about losing my angles. I was so angular until I turned 40.

Also like the satin trousers but I always need to see satin IRL.

I looked her up - she is 60 - but wears things I would wear.

http://thisis50.me/alyson-1963/

This is what she did when she was 50. Some really good ideas. It's now one of my favourite sites but I don't think it's aimed at me!

Size 10 = fairly slim!! What a joke! What has happened to our sense of proportion? Why would anyone regard that as fairly slim? - it IS slim.

I have always worn trousers rather than skirts/dresses. I am a fair bit older than the OP, but still wear jeans every day, with smart jeans/trousers when required.

Have a look at ME+EM - elevated relaxed/casual/tailored trousers - lots of styles to look at

Size 10 is fairly slim, but it’s not (or it shouldn’t be) unusually so. Our sense of proportion is shifting too far in the wrong direction.

Have a look at Dr Liz O'Riordan's style. She shared a photo of an incredible yellow suit on Twitter recently. She really rocks the androgynous look!

Diane Keaton & Annie Lennox still rock the androgenous look & are definitely past middle age.

A have a lovely friend in her early 50s who rocks this look, she is slim and pretty but I think it’s her hair, she has very short dyed blonde, almost white, hair and teams it with bright red lips when she is in slouchy trousers, brogues etc. She is v short (ha, just saying this as I am also little and I do think taller people have the advantage sometimes in the style stakes) but my friend is very stylish and eye-catching in this look.

Love a tux dress with some edgy boots

There is no need to change your preferred style of dress, but many of us in middle age find that our old clothes don't fit or flatter like they used to. So get a new haircut and buy a few new pieces in your preferred style, but in a more modern cut and in sizes/shapes that flatter your figure as it is now.

I’d be looking at Japanese and Korean androgynous clothing. They have some beautiful, minimalist styles too.

No not converse. Smart brogues or loafers, I like patent ones in ox blood or navy as I don’t like black.

What about if you are a bit fatter and older than the OP?

I am not at all comfy in dresses or anything fussy, my style type when I was 'done' many years ago was Gamine and I've always favoured slightly edgy, boyish styles.

I've got a cropped pixie type haircut which people say suits me but am also rather round and short with big boobs which means I seem to have 3 default modes - frumpy, tarty or butch. I know those are horrible words to use about anyone including yourself but I dont know how else to describe it.

I think Trinny does this style rather well - she's got a bit more sparkle and accessories going on than I would probably go for, but if you're looking to dress up that androgynous style for a do, then she might inspire? She puts lots on Instagram.

Shoe-wise, how about chunky loafers with snazzy buckles/trims?

What about if you are a bit fatter and older than the OP?
Like I've said, look at what happens when an out-of-shape man with a beer gut puts on a well made, well fitting suit. It's transformative.
I'm considerably older than the op.

I am also older than the OP. Same size. I may look butch- which I don't much mind- but I look far less frumpy than in a floral smock. I don't think anyone looks tarty in slouchy trousers and brogues!

Sounds like a fab look! I would avoid wearing trainers (even smart ones) but the look would suit a pair of patent or jewel-coloured brogues. Pointy ballerinas can also look dressy and avoid the need for heels.

I'm a similar age and very much like long Silky trousers and a shirt/jacket. I haven't tried a waistcoat yet!

For shoes...hear me out, I am long bodied and short legged but can't be arsed with proper heels. So I really like a wedge trainer boot. Luckily they are out of fashion (they are in with me!!!!) so I can get Isabel Marant Bekett boots for about £40 on ebay, so the trousers hand better, I look more on proportion and I can walk/dance all day and night.

I love this type of look! Although I am petite and hourglass (and btw for the poster who made the size 10 comment - at my height I am in the overweight category if I am in a 10 so height is major factor - currently I'm about a stone too heavy and verging on top of health BMI and I'm still in an 8), and I feel most comfortable in things like silk shirts and well cut wide leg trousers, or silky trousers and a more fitted top with a blazer.

I recently got some silky trousers in the Ghost sale in navy and burnt orange and I recommend those. Those Hush ones look good too though the waist pleats might not work on me.

I don't think anyone looks tarty in slouchy trousers and brogues!

It's definitely easier not to but when you've got big boobs any outfit is a bit of a challenge 🤦🏻

@EdmontinaDonsAutumnalHues not sure how I missed your waistcoat link - it's fantastic.

Reading very happily about all of you of my age or over who clearly still rock this look.

And I have already - on the basis of this thread - slunk away from work and gone out and had my hair cut. I like to think I've moved decidedly away from Wurzel Gummage, and a little towards Louise Brooks. It feels VERY good!

I shall now be trouser and waistcoat shopping, and I shall update.

You're all fab. What a difference a thread makes....

Oh, and also I'll be brogue shopping. My only problem with the ones I've seen so far is that they tend to have rubbery soles, and I like a little slide on my shoes when dancing... 😏