In a total rut with hair colour, mid 50s

[peeweep]

What would you do with this hair? My original natural colour was dark brown, fine and very straight.

it’s now salt and pepper, wiry, frizzy. In above shoulder bob. I started having full head foils and toner almost 2 years ago, but I’m finding it really difficult to justify the cost and not even sure if I like it.

Been quite poorly over the last few years as well as menopause and weight gain, and have totally lost my confidence and any sense of style.

Are box dyes an option? A bit scared of messing up colour wise but wondering about going darker. Just not sure of my best option with those roots.

Will they wreck my hair more than the wellaplex bleaching?

Are any brands particularly good?

Thanks for reading.

I went grey at 22 and have been dyeing my hair every 2-4 weeks for 8 years now. Box dye won’t ruin your hair as long as you don’t use dye with ammonia in it. Bleach also made my hair very dry and frizzy. So if you’re dyeing at home; use a darker colour with no ammonia or bleach and you’ll be ok.

I have naturally frizzy and grey hair and I find that Garnier Olia, Garnier Nutrisse and Schwarzkopf Live are the best varieties for keeping my hair smooth and moisturised rather than frizzy and dried. Perhaps this will be different for different people but it sounds like your natural hair is better than mine in terms of greyness and dryness so surely if they work for me, they’d work for you?

Aside from avoiding bleach and ammonia, the other totally crucial consideration is that box dyes go very dark. Much darker than the colour on the box. So if you want a level 3 shade, use a level 5 dye for example. Number 1 is deepest black and number 10 is lightest blonde. I’d say anything below a 3 will be really dark and anything above a 7 will fry your hair. So stay between a 4 and 7 and use a lighter shade than what you think you’d want.

You should also be aware that box dyes are very prone to going brassy. So violet or blue shampoo 1-2 times a month will help a lot. Use a nourishing shampoo in between this so your hair stays silky. I hope this helps!

I would think keeping it the colour you are and maybe adding a few scattered honey highlights next time, get a nice sharp bob and tidy it up that way.

In my opinon going darker when you ahve greys coming through is just asking for trouble. I also think dark hair on people that are going grey is aging....

I went through this. I'm 51 but got so fed up of dye I let it grow out and I wish I'd done it sooner. You look like you might have some nice stripes in your hair. So the alternative here is let it grow out with some transition highlights and invest what you save in getting your colours done instead. You can sell anything from your wardrobe you need to cull.

Wearing the right colour clothes makes a massive difference.

I use Esalon, a box dye, about £30 a go,vas they post it to you and you can send photos, adjust the colour and frequency.

Hairdressers keep telling me I ought to do it more carefully though. The trick is to dye only the grey bits, or the roots, but I find it hard not to get the dye all over my hair and that dries it a lot and makes it frizzier.

To save money I use a cheap Clairol root touch up in between, at least in winter when it's not so obvious in the sunlight!

My hair is naturally very dark and anything lighter than dark brown looks odd with my colouring (black eyes and eyebrows, olive skin) , so I dye it its original colour, bit worried now pp here thinks it's ageing but I prefer it to grey...

I'm naturally dark brown and have greys. I'd estimate 50%, but never let it grow out far enough to really know? I use L'oreal casting colours. Its a semi, so will wash out eventually and not leave a harsh re-growth line. I agree that they come out darker than you'd expect. I buy light brown, or a chestnut. The greys will colour slightly lighter, so a slight 2 tone effect without it looking unnaturally odd.

Yes, I need to colour it monthly, but its a lot cheaper and quicker than a salon.

Thank you so much everyone. This is so helpful.

I’ve been looking at the Olía colours and they also have a live try on thing which is great, although I’m sure not totally accurate.

@Feliciacat all your info about colour numbers is so helpful. Thank you. It’s given me a solid place to start.

so I’ve been looking at warmer blondes, frosted chocolates and reds!

I did try going natural for a while before I started the foils, but I’m not ready for it.

I’ve been paying a lot of attention to what others look like, and have concluded that staying dark is definitely not a mistake. I know lots of people who look amazing with darker hair. I suppose it’s all about what suits your skin tone etc.

I have pale olive skin and light brown eyes, and can never work out whether I’m warm or cool toned.

I have brown, fine, straight hair. When it started to go grey I had highlights put in and kept going blonder and blonder. But this totally trashed the condition of my hair and in all honesty it didn't really suit my skin tone.
If you have a lot of blonde, I'd say to get the hairdresser to re dye it a darker colour first - they will be able to adjust colours to take into account the bleach and will help you choose the best shade for your skin tone. I think it's worth the expense of that as a one off. Afterwords you can buy a box dye that is a similar shade and do root touch ups yourself.

I like the Olia dye and Superdrug one brand 10 minute ones and (surprisingly) color tint, which is cheap as Chios but has lasted ages on my greys. The only thing with color tint is that it doesn't have a lot of shades to choose from, but I was lucky because they make one that suits me.
I'd probably go a slightly lighter brown than is your natural colour because very dark can look a little harsh.

One thing about red (or box red anyway) is that it fades very fast and yet is impossible to remove. So you basically have to grow red out of you ever wanted to go from red to blonde. If you put brown on top of red, the red comes through. Yet despite the strength of red to stop other colours working; trying to be box dye red will just fade fast into a wishy washy pinky brown.

In short, only go for a red dye if you’re certain it’s for you! With box dyes, ash colours are safer as they don’t go brassy and you can put other colours over them.

Thank you. I’ll avoid the red then! Thinking of golden brown 5.3. Or mahogany brown 5.5.

Can anyone explain what the toners are that the hairdresser uses. Is it worth using those or are box dyes a better option?

To my knowledge, toner is kind of like a semi permanent dye that tones your colour. So when people initially bleach their hair, it’s usually ginger as most hair contains red pigment. A purple or blue toner can be used to deposit colour and neutralise the red tones. Blonde will then go a lot whiter.

I think you can use other colour toners on other colour hair to get a better colour but I’ve only ever used toner on bleached blonde hair myself. I’m not sure which colours neutralise which tones in general. A hairdresser would be best to ask or you can watch hairdressers’ videos on YouTube.

If you do use a toner, it won’t last so you’ll need to redo the toner when you colour your hair. It’s also a good idea to get a toning shampoo for between dyes. So for example, I’d bleach my dark hair and it would be ginger, then I’d tone it and it’d be blonde, then I’d use purple shampoo to keep it blonde, then I’d retone it upon dyeing again as the roots would be ginger.

Toner and toning shampoo can be harsh on your hair so I’d bear this in mind if your hair is prone to frizz and breakage (which it doesn’t look like it is).

Apparently you should go lighter as you get older not darker

So they say but not everyone looks better with lighter hair. Some people look totally washed out.

Quick update. I’ve bought an Olio 7.0 dark blonde. Thought I’d start cautiously! I’ve done a strand test and there doesn’t seem to be much change, but it might blend my roots in a bit, leaving dark bits dark and glam up the rest slightly.

Planning to do the whole lot tomorrow! I will update. Fingers crossed!

Thanks for all the posts.

I hope it goes well! Send a pic of you like, we’d love to see!

I did it! So pleased with how it turned out. Did about 20 minutes on the roots, then about a further 20 minutes on the rest. It’s blended it all in really well. Hopefully it will last well too!

Wow! It looks very natural and is not too dark or gingery. You’ve done a fantastic job, especially considering it’s your first go. I do find Garnier Olia blends greys well, maybe it’s the oily nature of the dye. It also looks a nice texture, not dry at all! Yay!

Looking good. You did a great job.

They changed Olia and now it's really thin and runny and seems to take twice as long to put on your hair.

Thank you both! It has come out a really nice texture. And yes, it was very runny to apply. I used a tinting brush for the roots but just slopped it on the rest (no patience!).

Looks good!