Would you expect to be forewarned if you were getting a hands on treatment from a man?

[GreyBlackBay]

Friend's just been to the new salon in the next village. Went for a facial and head/ shoulder massage.

She was greeted and ushered into a room then her beautician came in, a man in his mid 20s.

She said he was friendly, professional, efficient and kept dropping in bits of info about his extensive qualifications. He did absolutely nothing to make her feel uncomfortable and yet she did. And she feels bad about it.

We're both up for men and women having equal opportunities in terms of careers, but neither of us wants a man doing our beauty treatments either.

Are we just old? Is this far more acceptable amongst a younger crowd? Would you at least expect to be warned?

Im sure it was once odd and uncomfortable to have a male hairdresser, maybe this is just a similar issue?

I wouldn’t like a massage from a man unless I knew in advance. Or a beauty treatment. I don’t think twice about a male doctor or gynaecologist though. A man delivered my first child and my second.

My waxer is a man and he's the best I've ever had, absolutely wonderful at his job.

The salon checked with me before my first appointment with him if I was comfortable with a male waxer, to be fair. I wasn't 100% sure tbh but I'm glad I went with him, he's fab.

I do think with anything potentially "intimate" like massage, waxing etc it's good practice to check comfort levels beforehand.

No

I would expect to be asked in advance. I would not like this.

No they are just staff to me (in the I don't care male or female way) if I had issues with I would discuss on booking not the other way around

No, wouldn't bother me as long as whoever is touching me is qualified to do what i'm there for.

No wouldnt think twice

I had a male masseur in a hotel in ibiza and in champneys - didn’t think anything of it at all

I went to a spa for a booked massage and they asked if I'd mind if it was a man, I said no, I didnt mind at all.

He was very professional and it didnt feel weird.

I might have been surprised if I hadnt been told.

Anything medical- fine
Facial, pedicure etc- fine
Full body massage, intimate waxing- I'd expect to be told in advance

Its about how the client feels, its not about the practitioner. I dont think OP or anyone else had any sexual offence in mind. People do have different levels of what they feel comfortable with.

I dont like men in close contact so I try to avoid male doctors, dentists, fyzios etc.

It really depends. The guy I go to for sports massage is incredibly professional and it's pretty standard for functional type massages like that to be done by men. You also wear more clothes than you do for a spa type massage, I'm wearing a sports bra and very short running shorts. I have also been to one or two where I felt uncomfortable, though, which has never happened with a female therapist.

For relaxing messages in spas etc I massively prefer the treatment to be carried out by women because typically you are only wearing a pair of paper pants! And it's not relaxing if you're worried about your state of undress or having to turn over. With another woman I wouldnt care a jot.

Btw I didn't word that very well, my current male sports masseur is a total professional, it's other male sports masseurs where I've felt a bit uncomfortable from time to time.

I am a sports massage therapist myself so have had plenty of massages from guys - it’s probably the one massage specialism where’s there’s a fairly equal gender split and we tend to train on one another, so you get plenty of practice. I’ve also never found that guys give better pressure - it’s about the individual therapist and how they use their bodies, not the strength of the hands or arms.

Personally I’d never book a massage if I didn’t know who the therapist was going to be, and I prefer self-employed therapists over spa places. I like to be able to have a nosy at their qualifications etc before I commit. But I don’t tend to do spa-type massages anyway - I like a proper sports massage. I do think at the very least you should have the name of your therapist on a booking, and it’s a bit unprofessional of the spa not to give that. On the other hand you as a client could also take a bit more time to get the right massage for you and look into your therapist a little more. Many therapists have specific interests so it often pays to do that little bit of extra research to find one who will meet your needs.

No, I wouldn't expect to be told in advance.

If you are only happy with a woman doing it then you should say so when you book.

Facial and head massage no I wouldn't expect to be told.

Something like a full body massage yes I would.

But neither would bother me.

One of the best spa massages I've ever had was from a man.

Wouldn't bother me at all, although I can see that it would be helpful to be told. However, would you also want them to.disclose their sexuality as well as their gender? If he was a gay man would that be ok? What about a female therapist who is also gay?

Not quite the same but earlier this year I had 15 sessions of radiotherapy on my breast. All radiologists were female until session 12 , when there was man as part of the team. The care and professionalism I received from him was identical to that I had received from his female colleagues, because it's his job, isn't it,?

Facial/ head and shoulder massage wouldn't bother me. Best full body massage I've had was from a man. Saw a man for sports therapy for a leg issue. Had my genital piercing done by a man (gay, but i didn't know that before). Although I don't know if I'd want to get waxed by a bloke.

In my 50s. I would not want a Male therapist

I agree with this.

I'm surprised at the responses saying that the onus should be on the woman to check first. You're in a vulnerable situation having a full body massage, I would expect to be told in advance.

Re a bikini wax or indeed anything you’d be naked in, if it was a gynaecologist you’d have a chaperone so why not here? The intimacy and vulnerability is the same. Big no thank you for me.

What kind of wax do you get?

Hollywood and full leg.

Oh my that wouldn't be for me.