Here are some going out tops if that's still a thing

[Raggammuffin]

I've spent my whole life trying not to look scruffy as I'm only 5'1''. The photo attached was like my outfit last night, black jeans though. Bit uptight and dark compared to the floaty whites I saw around me.

Last night I had the slight sense of my outfit being wrong. I'm not usually conscious of that, hello 50s. I was in a bar with a restaurant, a casual place but in an expensive villagey location.. I did notice that a lot of the mostly younger women were wearing cropped tops under oversized clothes it seemed to me. Huge shirts over tanned bodies. I'm 5'1'' though, I'm not fat but not skinny. Anything over sized does nothing for me. Anyway, do any of these tops look good? Put it this way, my daughter never pinches anything.

green shimmery fine knit top

royal blue satin finish v neck top

I like both of these and could imagine reaching for them both a lot when I go out but are they a bit dated? I don't mind looking classic but I don't want to look dated. I never worried about looking dated before, i just trusted that my eye would be turned off, but not so sure now. Btw, it's not like I think all the 30 year old women were dressed in the most flattering way. A lot of them don't look their 'best' imo but there was definitely a look and I felt too dark, too 'fitted'. I don't know, I'm bound to be moving in to the Gerry Webber stage of my life.

I see Vinted recommended on here a lot, but I suppose like everything, it's a bit hit and miss.
This year I got some plain linen separates from M&S, in white and navy - good quality and not too baggy.

It is hit and miss @Maireas but also mercifully cheap 😂 and you can't say that for some of the brands recommended on here!

I find it to be a good way to try out styles/colours/prints that I'm not sure about, and any misses that I have tend to sell again quite quickly. It's also good for finding discontinued stuff - my favourite Gap mom jeans are always put of stock online (I don't actually think they make them any more) but I've managed to find two pairs on Vinted, so satisfying!

You're right, @LaRevolution - also, a lot greener! Good point about discontinued stuff, which is always a frustration. Much better than buying more landfill clothing.

Lentilweaver · Today 09:15
I don't understand why people are not allowed to want to look slim, or be slim if they really are, without all the suspicion of their motives and methods. There's another thread now about how many Europeans are slim, but deeply miserable, starving and unhappy.🙄

On MN, nobody is naturally slim. They are only slim because they are deeply unhappy or starving themselves, or because they are rich enough to afford a personal trainer and chef, and spend all day exercising.

@KirstenBlest nobody said you’re not allowed to want to look slim 🤨😂 it’s just that dressing in tight clothes to emphasise slimness is not currently fashionable

whether you or anyone cares about being fashionable is your choice

wear what you like 🙂

@MissBiljanaElectronika , I don't know why you are addressing nobody said you’re not allowed to want to look slim directly at me. I was quoting @Lentilweaver .

I don't really care how I look as long as I don't feel that I look too much of a mess.

Agree with this and with @sheeplikessleep - it's kind of annoying as a short slim person to be told by someone that we should stop dressing to flatter our figure and be more fashion-forward, only for them to have a figure that current trends probably flatter more. I also don't think it's correct to say that fashion is moving away from looking slim - let's be honest, current trends still look best on a size 8/10 woman who's 5' 10 with a toned waist.

I like Lydia Tomlinson's style, she has some good tips for looking put together without looking dated. Lots of neutrals, mixing oversized pieces with fitted clothes to keep some shape etc.

Agree Possimbiple.
The comment about scruffy is because unless you buy petite fit clothes, for shorter women, the majority of womenswear can look scruffy because the proportions aren’t right - sleeves are long, shoulders hang, tops too low cut, length not right, waist too low. If you are the height the clothes have been designed for, it’s easier to look smarter and for the clothes to be better fitting.
The lack of choice for petite is a massive bugbear of mine.

@Lentilweaver,@Possimpible, clothes of any shape are always going to look best on slim bodies!

Love your airy Anthropologie dress, @MissBiljanaElectronika.

I have decided that you are all right and there are no nice going out tops any more. They are all not to my taste. So instead I have bought this basic cotton sweater which I will wear with wide leg cords or jeans and jazz up with some gold jewellery. ://www.marksandspencer.com/pure-cotton-textured-jumper/p/clp60613015?color=MEDIUMPINK#intid=carousel_FUNH_AT_PHOENIX-SIMILAR_END_PDP_16_1:0bbb25b2-f5a8-46e4-9829-b4ea27c1d2ea

That's nice. I often end up in a plain black jumper, because there are so few nice tops anywhere.

I am so sick of black! But also not keen on all the shiny animal print.

That's lovely @Lentilweaver , basics in neutral shades jazzed up with accessories seems to be the way to go

Try quiz lovely fashionable clothing for all occasions x

Might it be worth going to a department store personal stylist? I did it a couple of times at Debenhams after I lost some weight after having my DD and it was great to try on stuff that was in style and not things I’d pick out for myself. I’m a bit taller at 5’3” and definitely in need of the petite range in most clothes. I was able to give them an idea of what i was looking for (workwear and bit of casual wear) and a budget and they helped me pick some key pieces I could build on.

I should probably do it again as that was a while ago and a lot of the clothes are now looking a bit tired as I’ve worn them so much and a little dated. I think JL has a similar service and possibly M&S, which now they have some other brands might work in their larger shops.

I like that white top. Big hoops, lipstick, christalle, im ready. :-p

I saw an off whit top on mint velvet site I really liked. Haven't bought any thing yet.

@overwroughtmummy how does it work financially, do they just hope that you spend a lot of money in the department store, but not have their own fee?

I know a woman who is a personal shopper. I'd be scared she'd only show me really garish stuff. She looks good herself but her style is too "brave" for me.

I know a good personal shopper doesn't try and change your style, too much. But then, they have to push you out of your comfort zone a bit or why would you go??

It's tempting. I'd love to try it.

I bought a €22 top off zalando. It's an experiment to see how I feel in off-white.
I've avoided pale colours for years because I'm "messy".

The one on mint velvet nicer but much more expensive but i need To see if ifeel dressed up in off-white

Will you let us know what you think of your top when you've got it, please? I'm scared of buying stuff from Zalando because their inescapable ads are so horrid 🤔 but their designs often look nice.

I wish I'd ordered that M&S jumper before it sold out online ... decided it was too expensive for now, then promptly spent the same amount on a handful of cheap acrylic jumpers. I have no brain! I had appointed 2023 my one and only year of buying dubious crap clothing, but sometimes seem to forget this doesn't mean I have to choose the crap 😂

I'm being plagued by ads for Temu. There's something seriously wrong with the algorithm.

Oh and thank you for the kind words in your essay.

I’m 5ft and petite with a huge rib cage and short body. I look bloody ridiculous in a crop top. Can’t imagine anything less flattering.

Surely no one is proposing to wrestle you into one, @Fraaahnces?

I found them on Shien

No charge, they just hope you buy stuff. I assume they’re on some sort of commission.

The shopper definitely pushed me out of my comfort zone but also listened to what I did and didn’t like out of the selection and found more along those lines for me to choose from, found stuff that would work well together so I could create several outfits. I didn’t spend a fortune, around £200 but that got me set up with a range of outfits that fit my then “new” body.