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Original poster

Help needed - up coming wedding

49 replies

CissOff · 26/08/2023 20:32

Evening

I have a wedding coming up next weekend and I haven’t even thought about an outfit. It’s an evening wedding for somebody celebrating their second marriage and very chilled. So I don’t need anything very wedding-y.

I’m early 40s, 5’8, size 16. I carry my weight around my thighs and have a bit of tum so don’t want anything too form
fitting.

I prefer midi dresses and like to keep my upper arms covered. I hate dresses with a side zip and prefer to avoid zips altogether but a back zip would be fine.

Any suggestions? I generally wear prints and brighter colours. Pastels and insipid colours don’t do anything for me as I’m quite pale.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 27/08/2023 15:53

NatashaDancing · 27/08/2023 15:26

I also mentioned the Anthropoligie dress which is £120.

Why do you assume no one on here has the budget for Erdem?

Show quote history

Because I assume that most of the people on here are just ordinary folk, who don't have that budget. If you're lucky enough to have £800 to blow on a dress, then you're probably in a very small minority.

Original poster
CissOff · 27/08/2023 16:00

Mammyloveswine · 27/08/2023 15:49

Oh this is lovely!! Think I’ll order one to try on! What colours do you have?

OP posts:
Mammyloveswine · 27/08/2023 16:02

@CissOff a forest green, mint green, plum...

Mammyloveswine · 27/08/2023 16:03

@CissOff oh they have it yellow and a pinky peach colour too!

(Hope we're not at the same wedding Grin)

NatashaDancing · 27/08/2023 16:03

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 27/08/2023 15:53

Because I assume that most of the people on here are just ordinary folk, who don't have that budget. If you're lucky enough to have £800 to blow on a dress, then you're probably in a very small minority.

Show quote history

The OP didn't specify a budget.

I posted 3 suggestions to give a choice - not everyone wants Roman/ SilkFred at under £50. I posted the lower end of Erdem/ high end , top end of mid market (the Max Mara sale dresses which are well with many posters' budgets) and the top end of high street- Anthropologie. As she's now said £100 only the Anthropologie one is relevant.

Here's a couple of others well within her budget and remit.

Warehouse 1

Warehouse 2

Border Paisley Print Cotton Sateen Midi Dress | Warehouse

This garment is part of our READY FOR THE FUTURE rangeFind out more about our material goalsThe Boohoo Group are members of Better Cotton. By choosing our cotton products, you’re supporting Boohoo Groups investment in Better Cotton’s missio...

https://www.warehousefashion.com/border-paisley-print-cotton-sateen-midi-dress/BWW03910.html?clickref=1101lxJ5j4Y9&app_clickref=1101lxJ5j4Y9&utm_medium=affiliates&utm_source=partnerize&utm_term=skimlinks_phg%20-305950

Original poster
CissOff · 27/08/2023 16:05

Mammyloveswine · 27/08/2023 16:03

@CissOff oh they have it yellow and a pinky peach colour too!

(Hope we're not at the same wedding Grin)

😂 from your username, who knows! We could well be 😉

OP posts:
Mammyloveswine · 27/08/2023 16:07

@CissOff that would be so funny! Id be like "excuse me are you on mumsnet?" Can imagine random guest then just being like "erm no..." BlushGrin

Original poster
CissOff · 27/08/2023 16:22

Mammyloveswine · 27/08/2023 16:07

@CissOff that would be so funny! Id be like "excuse me are you on mumsnet?" Can imagine random guest then just being like "erm no..." BlushGrin

‘No, me neither’ 😂

OP posts:
RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 27/08/2023 16:28

the Max Mara sale dresses which are well with many posters' budgets
No, they're really not.

Anyway, OP clearly doesn't like the Whistles dress I posted, and I think most of the dresses on here are horrible, whether £50 or £800, so I'll go and do something else instead.

NatashaDancing · 27/08/2023 17:01

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 27/08/2023 16:28

the Max Mara sale dresses which are well with many posters' budgets
No, they're really not.

Anyway, OP clearly doesn't like the Whistles dress I posted, and I think most of the dresses on here are horrible, whether £50 or £800, so I'll go and do something else instead.

The Max Mara dress I linked to is £304. There's another current wedding guest dress thread started late yesterday which specified £300. £300 is a figure often set as the limit.
.

RandomersAssociation · 27/08/2023 17:12

@RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie you’ve made this point on numerous threads - across maybe the whole more than a decade I’ve been here - and I’ve honestly tried to see it from your point of view …

But there are so many things people can spend their money on - mortgages and childcare and school fees and cars and expensive hobbies and dogs and holidays and nights out with friends and diamonds and kitchens and the latest children’s toy for Christmas …

I’ve never been to the Maldives. I don’t own a Peloton - or even have a gym membership. Never in my life had highlights put in; never had gel nails. I don’t go to spas. I don’t get regular takeaways. I don’t have a huge credit card bill to service every month. If I did all those things - given that I’m far from rich - I probably wouldn’t feel free to spend money on clothes.

And isn’t it a little patronising to assume that we, mere women, won’t have the spending power to buy a nice frock now and again? There’s a strong cohort of women in professional careers on MN - if they’re not buying expensive clothes it’s probably a matter of choice, (skiiing, or super king beds, or personal trainers) not impecuniosity.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 27/08/2023 18:07

If the OP had breezed in saying, 'I've got £800 to spend on a dress' then obviously it's different. To link to £800 dresses before OP has stated a budget is a bit crass imo.

Of course women can buy a nice new frock - but for many women, a nice new frock will not involve £800.

Spend your money on what you want. I really don't care. And if you chose to feel patronised as a 'mere woman' then that's on you - I'm also a mere woman and £250 is the most I've ever spent on a dress - and that took some soul searching. My point is that unless the OP says they're loaded and want to spend a fortune, then £800 frocks are probably not the most useful starting point.

RandomersAssociation · 27/08/2023 18:25

Grin And my point is that, in the absence of specific information it is patronising to assume an OP necessarily has the spending power of a minimum wage courier, rather than a barrister practising in the field of commercial law. Most will be somewhere in the middle, sure, but a poster commented a few days ago that £75 would be an astonishing amount to spend on a dress - that’s simply not true.

NatashaDancing · 27/08/2023 18:56

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 27/08/2023 18:07

If the OP had breezed in saying, 'I've got £800 to spend on a dress' then obviously it's different. To link to £800 dresses before OP has stated a budget is a bit crass imo.

Of course women can buy a nice new frock - but for many women, a nice new frock will not involve £800.

Spend your money on what you want. I really don't care. And if you chose to feel patronised as a 'mere woman' then that's on you - I'm also a mere woman and £250 is the most I've ever spent on a dress - and that took some soul searching. My point is that unless the OP says they're loaded and want to spend a fortune, then £800 frocks are probably not the most useful starting point.

Oh fgs. I gave 3 budget options- one of which was the OP's budget. It is less crass, in the absence of specific information, as unlike you, I wasn't making any assumptions.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 27/08/2023 18:57

Well, the OP has clarified so that's that, I guess.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 27/08/2023 18:59

NatashaDancing · 27/08/2023 18:56

Oh fgs. I gave 3 budget options- one of which was the OP's budget. It is less crass, in the absence of specific information, as unlike you, I wasn't making any assumptions.

Show quote history

I'm sure you'd love to explain what assumptions you think I was making, but please don't bother.

OP - I hope you find a dress that you like.

NatashaDancing · 27/08/2023 19:04

Your assumptions are all over the thread- that most posters don't want to / can't afford to spend £300 let alone £800 on a dress. I expect you didn't read the thread and didn't spot no budget had been stated.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 27/08/2023 19:08

NatashaDancing · 27/08/2023 19:04

Your assumptions are all over the thread- that most posters don't want to / can't afford to spend £300 let alone £800 on a dress. I expect you didn't read the thread and didn't spot no budget had been stated.

Well, you expect wrong.

And I think my 'assumption' is probably a correct understanding of a majority of people's reality - but feel free to convince yourself otherwise.

I'm done. This is boring - and not helping the OP.

Katiepoes · 27/08/2023 20:16

I like seeing the expensive dresses. I can afford the mid-range of those options but seeing the likes of Erdem gives me ideas and new shapes even if I can't or choose not to stretch to them. Please don't stop - especially when no budget has been given.

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/08/2023 20:28

@NatashaDancing
Being someone, who used to have a much larger budget to spend on clothes and life in general, I did somewhat lose perspective on how the average person lived. £300 really is a rather large amount of money to spend on a wedding outfit for most people. It really is. Especially during a cost of living crisis.

NatashaDancing · 27/08/2023 21:23

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/08/2023 20:28

@NatashaDancing
Being someone, who used to have a much larger budget to spend on clothes and life in general, I did somewhat lose perspective on how the average person lived. £300 really is a rather large amount of money to spend on a wedding outfit for most people. It really is. Especially during a cost of living crisis.

There's another current wedding guest thread where £300 is the budget specified.

Mummyoflittledragon · 27/08/2023 21:47

NatashaDancing · 27/08/2023 21:23

There's another current wedding guest thread where £300 is the budget specified.

Show quote history

Yes I understand that. I was just trying to give the convo, which got a bit heated some context and explain the majority of people cannot afford a high budget, including £300, which is a pretty high budget.

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