For god's sake please help me get my shine back!!

[financialhelpneeded]

I have read eleventy billion reviews of hair products online and am now going round in circles.

Since being put into the chemical menopause before a hysterectomy my hair is just horrible. Whatever I try, it looks awful. It's dull, coarse, and horribly frizzy. I don't really style or blow dry it regular (too ill) so it's not damaged, it is just ugly from the inside. I have tried a whole range of shampoos from Philip Kingsley to silver shampoo to Neil's Yard to clarifying shampoo. Awful, awful, awful every time. Nothing works. I am also going grey - have chosen to do this naturally.

I have a big event coming up and I would like to look put together but god my hair just ruins every single outfit. I was hoping Olaplex might help but read online that if your hair isn't damaged, it might not do anything at all.

Please rescue me!

Also, in terms of hair ruining outfit it might be worth trying a big hairband. Lots of them about at the moment and if you can cover quite a lot of head and draw the eye to that instead of the hair then you might feel happier.

You don’t really notice this lady’s hair thanks to the hairband and big earrings!

My hairdresser charges £280 for a Kerastraight - that's way beyond what I'm willing to spend. My hair comes down to just below my ears too, so god knows how much it would be if it were actually long. I'm a bit worried by reports that the home karatin treatments absolutely stink to use. Also, I'm rubbish at styling my own hair, and feel anxious that I will mess it up and then be stuck with terrible hair for months.

OK, tell me more about this Kerastase thing. I looked it up and there are about 15 different kinds with weird names that sound like some kind of cocktail menu. How do I know where to start? I think the main issue is dullness, followed by frizz. I don't have tons of split ends, just horribly unruly hair.

I will also try leaving Elasticiser on for ages and see what happens!

By the way, I am SUPER grateful for the advice. Honestly, I am. You guys are making me feel like I can actually do something about this rather than being an A-grade frump.

This might be worth reading...

www.regissalons.co.uk/blog/post/the-ultimate-kerastase-buyers-guide-which-range-is-right-for-you

I use the Chronologiste at the moment, I have used Oleo relax which I might go back to as it helps against humidity and Nuitrituve Masquintense for thick hair which is very good for damaged hair.

Kerastase also do an overnight balm, which looks very good, I'm keen to try that.

I'm in peri menopause I think and my hair has gone dry and frizzy. I'm looking at hair nail and skin vitamins to see if they can help but haven't taken the plunge yet.

Styling wise I like the Color Wow Dream Coat. (I got a little one on Vinted to try)

My hair is definitely better if I run over it with the straighteners now and I might have to get back into hairspray. I think that helped it lol more polished too.

Wonder Water was brilliant until it wasn't. Elasticiser definitely helps.

I am also in chemi-menopause (Tamoxifen) and Kevin Murphy works well on me, especially the Hydrate Me range, they do travel sizes.

You could ask your hairdresser about clear glossing treatments? This wouldn't affect your colour.

If you're on AIs or Tamoxifen be careful about supplements as they may affect your medication (e.g. turmeric). Read pack inserts or talk to your medical team.

This might not work for you but as a cheap option, have you tried not using shampoo? It's not for everyone and it is a bit of a longer term thing, not an instant fix, but it did help with the condition of my hair and frizz as I wasn't using SLS-based detergents to basically strip it!

I have wavy hair and it used to be extremely frizzy, probably quite dry under layers of silicone. I came across the Curly Girl method (so many variations of this now) and stopped using shampoo - instead I use lots of cheap silicone-free conditioner to 'co-wash' my hair. You have to scrub for a few minutes using your fingers or one of those head scrubbers that are everywhere now (not your nails!) to lift the dirt/oil from the scalp, and the conditioner acts as a lubricant to make this easier. Rinse thoroughly then condition and rinse as normal. You might find you lose more hair initially as you're scrubbing the scalp rather than just stripping with shampoo, but you're not doing anything that will cause damage - in fact it might help to turn over your hair growth a bit.

You don't need any of the fancy products to give it a try - something like XHC banana or ginger conditioner, about £1 in most cheap shops (Savers, B&M etc) or Alberto Balsam raspberry conditioner which I think you can get in Boots. You can use these for both co-washing and conditioning, and you will get through a bottle fairly quickly if you're using enough to co-wash. I have fairly thick hair and use a good handful.

Should add - it did not make my hair completely frizz-free but it did make it a lot less frizzy, enough that I can let it be natural without looking like I've stuck my finger in a socket. Maybe try it for a few weeks at some point - a plus of this is that the worst that will happen is that it won't suit your hair type.

I’m in the same boat as you and the best thing I’ve found is this Arkive co-wash from Boots with a bit of conditioner left in afterwards
https://www.boots.com/arkive-all-together-now-co-cleanse-300ml-10307790

Cut it as short as you can and start again. My sister shaved hers off and it's grown back beautifully. This is a drastic step so not for everyone, I just cut it to shoulder length and started on biotin tablets. This has made a difference to my hair as it's grown thicker and looks healthier.

Someone on another thread recommended Bumble & Bumble hairdresser's invisible oil so I got a tester kit from Next because I didn't want to make an expensive mistake and I have a sensitive scalp. It made my hair feel lovely. They do a few varieties. I will try the curly one next.

Try shampoo that doesn't contain SLS. I recently caved and bought some Clairol stuff, largely because it smelled nice and was much cheaper than the OGX stuff I'd been using. Big mistake. I'm menopausal with naturally grey hair.

What about your diet OP? I think genetics, hormones and diet have a big part to play in what your hair and nails are like.

Keratin treatment
M Moroccan oil
Glaze conditioning shine treatment ever few weeks
Use keratin shampoo

This has been a game changer for me. It is worth every penny. My hair was dry, over bleached and snapping off.

That looks good. I though €50 was expensive at first but a trip to the hair dresser would cost you that much at least.