Where to even start with beauty… I’m 38

[Bernadinetta]

I’m 38 and have no clue about beauty.
Hair is ok- I have naturally mousy hair, which I get highlighted and regularly trimmed. It’s quite thin/fine though.
Make up- don’t have much of a clue. I never really wore any before my wedding 10 years ago, when I went for a make up trial at a salon, hated it so went to the Benefit counter at a department store instead and bought one of every product the lovely staff member used on me. Ten years later day to day I still wear Benefit air stick thingy foundation, hello happy powder and browzings (I think it is) eye brow stuff. My eyebrows are naturally pale and thin. I kind of draw them in with the wax and powder, I don’t really have a clue. Sometimes wear a swipe of mascara on an evening out.
I’m naturally pale and stay in the shade and wear factor 50 on my face in the summer. I’ve never used fake tan, had a spray tan etc.
I’ve never had a facial. I’ve never had eyebrows “done”- I don’t even know what the “done” is- waxed? Tinted? Dyed? Is laminated a thing in relation to eyebrows? Never had eye lashes done- filled? Extensions?
I daren’t even think about anything more medically cosmetic such as lip fillers or Botox.
Teeth? They’re in generally good condition, no fillings or crowns etc and not discoloured but not the bright white of some people’s, and a small chip to one front tooth.
I have a couple of stone to lose, so I’d like a few non-food related “treat yourself” ideas to also make me feel good about my appearance. I’m worried that losing weight will make my face/neck look worse.

Any advice for a total beginner with no clue gratefully received!

How about starting with colour analysis ?

A new lipstick, perfume or fancy toiletries are nice treats IME. I'm similar age and have no interest in pampering chores that aren't pure self-indulgence, so do none of the things you list.

Thanks for the reply. How would I go about this?

Thanks for the reply. You sound similar to how I currently am. Although I don’t even wear lipstick or perfume so I’m perhaps a step behind! It’s just I am beginning to see so many more people my age looking glam or polished (but in a natural way) and I feel that my age is beginning to show and I just want to feel good. I don’t necessarily mean invasive cosmetic procedures at all. Just little things that become routine that make a difference.
Just thought of another one- have never had nails done, either finger or toe, never wear polish on fingers and keep them short, don’t know different types of polish- gel? Laminate? Acrylic? Toes are a mess tbh but never wear sandals. Should I get pedicure/manicure? Where and what to ask for?

Has anyone any more advice on this? Thanks 😊

Why the sudden change?

You seem to be in a good routine and other than losing a bit of weight are happy with your appearance which sounds to me that you look perfectly fine.

Perhaps invest in good skincare such as a nighttime routine of moisturiser etc.

Once you start buying all different cosmetic products etc you are sucked into a new world of buying this that and the other to maintain your new look.

You might even find that people treat you differently and not in a positive way if they are jealous or insecure.

I'm the same age and not into heavy makeup, etc. I am also naturally pale and use factor 50 every day. I do use Garnier Summer Body during the warmer months for a glow, but during the colder months, I am happy to stay pale.
I love getting my hair done. It's long and thick, so get layers put through and a trim to keep it healthy. I also like to use an oil on my hair after washing it to keep it soft. I usually dye it myself. My hair is naturally light brown, and I like to to stick to a similar shade or a golden auburn. It ends up looking like natural highlights.
I like to paint my own nails as I get bored of the same colour. When I do get my nails done at the salon it's for a special occasion, wedding, holiday etc. I wear minimal make up but I have decent skin (I personally think using suncream all year round really helps). Pop of mascara, pop of blush and good to go 🙂

Maybe post some pics of the type of look you're after for some specific tips? I'm personally struggling to picture anything other than a Love Island / Kardashian aesthetic that requires fake tan, brows, lashes, nails etc. I'm sure it depends where you are, but in my area (London) that's really rare to see these days. Even painted toenails are very 'out' this summer.

You sound lovely if very self-critical. From your OP the things I would prioritise are starting tretinoin or retinal if you haven't already (preventative measure), getting a new hairstyle (or new hairstylist), going for some more makeovers and seeing what you like.

I think getting your eye brows and eyelashes tinted is probably a good start. It can make a big difference and it's just the one painless appointment with no day to day maintenance.

I've never been confident with make up, but at 58 my eye bags are very noticeable so I mastered using concealer ( Maybelline age rewind under £10) and a neutral lipstick( Maybelline superstay Taupe)
I use micellar water and Cerave moisturiser and that's it
Another idea is a multi stick which you can use on lips cheeks and eyes( E.l.f do a good one £6)
I can't use mascara but that's a basic too
Practice at home until you feel confident

Oh and have eyebrows shaped if you like it( approx £6) and I use a tinted brow gel( which hides the grey ones and shapes them)

This sounds like the kind of thing I’m after

Thank you for your reply, I do appreciate it and am taking every thought into account! I suppose I’m beginning to feel I look my age a bit more? I don’t know.

Is there a specific tretinoin or retinal you’d recommend?
Thanks

For skincare, it's worth looking at Caroline Hirons website, she recommends products for all budgets. Her book is a good starting point too to understand different types of products, what they do, and whether you might benefit from them.

Going slow and steady on the weight loss is sensible.

For make up, I like the Bobbi brown counters - book a makeover with them for a natural look. Not that you need to if make up isn't your thing, but it's a good place to go if you want to try it out. They'll help with brow techniques and products too.

Drink lots of water, and wear SPF on your face every day, not just the summer.

Fake tan - if you want to try it, the gradual dove one isn't too dramatic and easy to use.

A nice bubble bath/oil and body moisturiser is nice for a treat.

Just trying to look for photos online. Maybe this sort of thing for eyebrows?

For retinal Geek&Gorgeous (0.05% or 0.1%) or Avene (they keep reformulating so check specific % on the product). My skin can't cope with tretinoin but I think Skin&Me or Dermatica are popular in the UK? Be extra assiduous with the sun protection if starting either!

Skincare - rosehip oil makes my skin dewy and fresh. Pureté Thermale waterproof eye makeup remover is good. They also do a good 3-In-1 cleanser.

Get your hair trimmed regularly perhaps invest in some styling tools like heated rollers, nice hair clips etc.

I like Mac Face and Body foundation as I love a dewy natural look.

Lash extensions look good but are expensive and IMO not worth the hassle.

If your eyebrows and thick research eyebrow threading people with multiple good reviews. If they're thin consider combo semi permanent eyebrow tattoos which combines microblading at the front of the brow (thin hair like tattoo) with a more opaque tail end. (Explained it terrible but YouTube it and definitely do your research and check to ensure they have 50+ positive reviews)

I bleach and trim my mustache.

Laser leg hair removal (not IPL) at the SK:N clinic has been awesome for me I no longer have to shave and am considering my arm pits next.

Invest in 2 nice perfumes. One for daytime one for evening. The website Fragrantica would be helpful for this.

I love a good eyelash curler and waterproof mascara. If you don't like to use waterproof mascara apply a bit of eyeshadow primer to your lashes after curling and before applying mascara and the curl should hold for longer.

Invest in some timeless "basic" pieces of clothing that can be mixed and matched such as neutral vests, jumpers, blazers.

Don't overdo the suncream vitamin D is important!

A touch of cream or liquid blusher can add a beautiful youthful glow.

Drink plenty of water and exercise!

Oh! And nails. Buying myself a nail lamp from ebay was one of the best beauty choices I've made. That with a bit of cuticle work and a pop of red or even a clear polish makes me feel tonnes more put together :)

Thank you for this!

I am fractionally older than you and did used to use more products but not so much now. I now find foundation and powders cakey in my fine lines, whereas a nice moisturizer and colour correcting serum serves me much better - nothing to cake. I have a sweep of bronzer and some blush (place it 'higher' to lift the face shape), and use a brow mascara in a slightly lighter shade than my dark hairs so they're not super dark. I also don't pull out too many - I know big brows are fashionable but my mum's have never recovered from over-plucking in the 80s-90's!

I also now use a careful application of a dark-ish eye-shadow (mid brown/mauve/grey) very lightly instead of harsh liner, and even though i'm dark/with long lashes I actually prefer a brown mascara for a daytime look as it's less harsh.

I don't use anything expensive really, but I have been using a retinol (The Ordinary) 2-3 times a week for about 18 months and I do think it works.

As PP have said - drink lots of water and use SPF regularly.

I have a gel polish very two weeks a) because I like it, but also b) because I was a prolific nail biter and skin picker, and if they look tatty I chew them. I tend to stick to naturally short, plain classic colours rather than super-long or with nail art or whatever.

I kind of advocate for less is more, especially if it's not something you've been doing previously. Have fun trying some things out though!

This was me last year OP but since turning 50 i have really started to make a concious effort to treat myself better (and hope it isnt too late!) I wash, cleanse tone and moisturise my face morning and night using Simple products. As others have said drinking lots of water has been a big thing for me because i never really bothered before. Eating a lot more healthily and walking more has enabled me to lose 3st so far with hopefully a couple more to go. I also have my hair cut every 8 weeks which is something i never bothered doing before, i tended to just put it up in a ponytail but it makes a huge difference to my feeling of general well being. I hope you can use some of these small ideas and it makes you feel better about yourself.

Thank you!

Thank you for your reply, well done on your weight loss! If you don’t mind me asking, do you feel it’s had any negative effect on the skin on your face/neck?

I have booked a hair appointment (highlights and trim)- was due anyway, and have booked for a brow and lash consultation- just to talk to someone!

If you want to start finding makeup then I recommend going to one of the counters - Mac, Bobbi Brown etc. They often do free consultations, or pay X amount but it's deducted from anything you purchase. Generally the people applying the make up are very good but it might be worth reading some reviews for wherever you think of going to check.

I really enjoy a gel manicure - I don't have them add nail extensions/fake nails, but gel polish on my normal nails lasts 2 weeks+ without chipping (and feels really nice). Just make sure you either have them take it off or remove it yourself properly (don't peel it off!), or it will be bad for your nails.

If you're more looking for treats, then you could try a facial or a massage? Or just anything that your local salon offers - work your way through the menu! You may find that e.g. after a facial they can recommend some skincare products that will suit.