Block on buying better things

[iamthattree]

All the time I see comments about how much better it is to buy good quality/avoid fast fashion etc and I wholeheartedly agree. However, I have a major block and end up buying cheap and not quite right so spend the same over all but on tat. Things that block me are:

It's too expensive - I do have a little disposable income but tend to spend it on too many low quality things.

I am not worth spending more than H&M prices on

It will date or I will go off it

I will change shape (weight on or off, mostly one these days)

I have a really hard figure to dress and I make do a lot of the time

I need too many iterations of things - smart coat for work, practical coat for bad weather, casual coat for day to day, light jacket for mild days, fun jacket I've seen and loved but only goes with 20% of my wardrobe etc

Every autumn I write a list of my capsule wardrobe ideas but I genuinely cannot bring myself to spend anything more than bottom end high street for the reasons above so this never works and the circle begins again.

Any ideas? I've tried vinted, shopping bans, clearing out my wardrobe, writing lists but am stuck with mediocre and scruffy stuff.

I’m trying to find really good quality designer if need be basics. So navy blazer etc.

I am wee and curvy too, but in between petite and standard sizing, which is murder! I feel you.

I also love a bargain but have had terrible eczema and the dermatologist told me to replace my entire wardrobe with natural fibres. So since last November I've been gradually replacing my clothes each month with 1 or 2 cotton or linen items that are higher end. I now find my bargains in posher online shops, high end of high street like Massimo Dutti, Boden, Sézane etc cause I do require bargain hunting to be a part of my life 😆

I find that I need high waisted trousers and belts to not look like a sack. I need my ankles on show to balance out my heavy bottom half. So I now only buy cropped, high waisted trousers or jeans. Usually Boden sale, M&S (have two pairs of wide leg cropped work trousers in black & navy) or my favourite bargain Sainsbury's Tu for petite jeans. I find all of these brands work for me in my inbetween petite and standard flippin' legs.

Shirts with high neck but buttons open, boat neck and scoop necks tops. Folk say V necks with big boobs but I find they make me look matronly.

I find vests, long sleeves or 3/4 length sleeves to be better than t shirts as t shirt sleeves cut me off right at my boobs, making me look massively top heavy.

I then do invest in high quality tops and shirts that I tuck in. Like £90 Sézane pure cotton shirts or Breton's. They do lovely knitwear that can be tucked in too. Boden sale linen shirts with a couple of necklaces and teh sleeves rolled up a wee bit and tucked in to high waisted trousers or jeans.

Skirts just don't seem to work for me, make me look massive of the belly.

I'm also good in jumpsuits, they seem to balance out the hour glass and if they are cropped at the ankle it seems to be more slimming. Free people do some good ones for the summer, so do The Nine and I have a couple from ASOS that I've had for years.

I am also a fan of a Boden sale dress, usually a shirt dress with the buttons undone. Avoiding the frumpy stuff! If you like colour Boden T shirts and long sleeve tops are really good quality, I've had some that were £30 quid but have lasted me over 5 years. I never buy full price from Boden, I stick it in my basket and wait for the 20% off or the sale.

I have a decent long puffer coat, a beautiful blue, burgundy & gold weave coat, a Mac (not double breasted, single or my boobs are a flippin' enormous shelf), a croppe denim jacket and a couple of cropped black and cream singe breasted smart jackets from Massimo Dutti. They make jeans and a t shirt look pulled together. I figured I'll have these coats for 20 years + so worth the money I've paid over the last 3 years for them.

I also have Marks and Sparks chunky loafers that while only £50 I have had reheeled and they just keep going, and Nike Air Force Ones that go with most things. But I need my ankles on show or i look mega dumpy & chunky.

I have invested in treats like a couple of high quality belts that match my loafers and started to wear my gold necklaces with Oliver bonas gold earrings and folk comment on looking nice but really, I'm in mostly high street with a nice shirt/top or t shirt with a smart jacket and the accessories are what seem to be pulling it all together.

I also like colour but I've worked out with my colouring to stick to 4-5 that compliment each other. Anything else I buy I realise doesn't get worn and just sits in my wardrobe.

It's taken me a long time to work out what suits me as wee and curvy doesn't translate to chic very easily and I've learned style is more important for me than fashion. I learned a lot from the 'fashion maths' Instagram videos. Now in my mid life I feel better about how I look, having accepted my shape than I did in my youth. It's definitely possible to feel good, good luck!!

As others have said, buy only things you really love. Not 'it will do'.

Also, sounds naff but have you considered colour analysis? It really helps with the issue that your coat only matches 20% of your wardrobe and you need shoes in all shades of the rainbow. My wardrobe is a fraction of the size but all items can be combined, so much easier.

Op, I think some of your reasons are perfectly valid - not the one about your not being worth spending money on but your point about changing size and shape is true for many, if not most women. Also things do go out of date and while some posters might not care about that, I'm afraid I do. And if you live in the UK I think it can be hard to get by on one coat.

So no need to beat yourself up.

What do I do? Well I don't believe in timeless clothes - I think it's a marketing scam. But I do believe that beautiful, well made clothes are worth spending as much as I can afford on, and that the days of finding precious gems if I rummage enough in H&M are gone. (Mind you, the reverse doesn't always apply and there's shit at the higher end too.)

So I compromise. I buy most of my high end clothes second hand, although I warn everyone that it's not a quick fix - it can take years to build up a wardrobe that way. And I save up and buy new if it's something I absolutely love or need (no, I don't love all my clothes). But I also buy cheap and cheerful, mainly either things that are likely to have a short life, e.g. shoes or bags (I wear them out) or if it's a look I want to try but I'm not yet committed to. I don't know if that helps but honestly, please stop feeling guilty, you're doing your best.

I think there are timeless clothes but they are rare. In my head, they are a long military wool coat or a velvet blazer, leather jacket or leather boots (Chelsea or knee high flats) or a little black dress. Not 'normal clothes', but really nice versions that fit outside of fashion even if the particular cut isn't currently on trend. Mostly though, the cut or style of clothes doesn't date in a timeless way.
But you can still do better then H&M.

I came here to write that and saw your comment, I absolutely second that! It changed the way I shop completely. If I find something that I like but that is not one of "my" colours, I don't even look at it again. Same with shape, once you know your shape, you'll only buy clothes that enhance or disguise your "good" or "bad" parts. I can't recommend it enough.
I often get compliments on my clothes and makeup but this is just because I'm wearing the right things, not because my clothes are expensive. My budget is actually Primark, New Look, Peacocks, Matalan, you get the gist. I'd love to buy Stella McCartney organic fair trade cotton stuff but sadly my budget doesn't match that. I still have to look good enough for the office though, so that is that.

I would do style analysis too, some consultants do that

Argh, hit post before finishing it!

If you find a consultant that does style and colours it's a bonus, most of them do actually. I would recommend House of Colour, I did mine with them. They'll analyse your height, weight, size and recommend things that you never even though about wearing, it's worth every penny. A good personal shopper could do that do but I would see what they specialise to and try to follow their work on social media to see if that's something that would benefit me. John Lewis has a free service and I found lots of their PS on Instagram.

I've had my colours done actually and agree it makes a difference although I am a paintbox spring who doesn't suit neutrals much. So in itself a problem because big purchases like coats in my best colours are real statements so I feel pressure to get the rest right iyswim. I don't fade into the background in turquoise or flamingo pink!

That said, as I go through peri and embrace the grey I find some of my 'best' colours are not as good as they were and others a bit better so I may treat myself to it again and include the style bit too.

Meh. I've had the most expensive items in my wardrobe develop holes after a few wears, and the cheapest last years. I have New Look and H&M items in my wardrobe from 2010 still going strong.

Ah, if you’re into colour you might find something at Farm Rio.

https://www.farmrio.eu/products/mystic-bush-blouse

I agree with you that H&M around 2010 was brilliant - one of my favourite shops. But I don't agree that it's anything like that now.

Extra thought- quirky things last longer because they are beyond fashion.