Just... help!

[Scatterbrainbox]

So, I've had some medical problems and I have piled the weight on over the last few years.
I'm 42, I am 5'4" and about 13 stone. Size 16. I need to lose weight but that's a different conversation for a different day.

My issue is that I just don't know what to wear! My style is probably a bit boyish. Jeans, t-shirt trainees. For work smart pants, top amd flats.

However if I try and wear those things now, I look awful. Dumpy and dowdy. I have particularly gained weight around my middle...I have a massive belly... again related to health problems and general weight gain.

My waist is disproportionately big and this makes it really hard to buy jeans and fitted trousers, so I end up in shapeless dresses and trainers. My stomach is often tender due to the health issues and anything tight or restrictive is painful.

I'm not a 'dressy' person but I'm fed up of looking so frumpy.

I work in a smart casual office and my social life mainly involves doing stuff with my (older) kids, dog walking, occasional pub/dinner out/ gig to see a band.

I have started trying to make a bit of effort with hair and makeup so I feel nicer. But I feel so bloody stuck in a rut. I haven't got a massive budget... but would invest in some nice jeans or key items.

Any help/sugestions or advice would be really appreciated.

Commiserations …

You might have a look at Beyond Nine. I’m linking to one of their fanciest items, just because it’s pretty, but they have plenty of plainer, tougher looking things that you might like. The jumpsuits and dresses in particular would be kind on a tender middle. (If these are more than you planned to spend, I still think it’s worth investing in comfort.)

Ooh that is a good website. It is a bit too expensive but I will keep any eye out for a sale.
I like the stretchy jumpsuits. They would be smart enough for work with a nice jacket.

Nothing will cheer you more than a happy lipstick and those can be dead cheap. Ruby Woo from MAC has lifted my mood many times, bonus points for the whiter teeth! It's a blue red so it takes a while if you're not used to it but boy it makes me happy, you can get a mini lipstick too, so even cheaper.
I love the jumpsuit from the pp.

cheer you *up

You've said lots of negative things about yourself in your OP, so how about the positive things? Emphasise those. Your hair? eyes? hands? lips?

I'm no fashion expert but would say buy some comfortable neutral coloured dresses and jazz them up with jewellery, lipstick, a good haircut. Or if feeling a bit more confident go for a patterned or colourful dress. There's no need to have anything touching your middle these days, midi dresses are everywhere. Be careful of the neckline and get something that suits your shoulders and boobs, you might need to try quite a few on to get the idea. You might suit a collared dress or something with a pussy-bow tie.

Marks and Spencer has lots of nice things this year, particularly if you are on a budget.

Great! Also, are you sure you want jeans right now? Voluntarily fastening denim around a fragile waist surely counts as masochism?

Was going to link Palava for the dresses, but these wide legged linen trousers caught my eye. The waistband looks both high and about as untroublesome as it could be. Palava does do sales.

They're lovely actually. I think jeans are just a habit and you're right, I'm just not going there!
I feel like I need something to try and accentuate (or pretend I have one!) my waist as I'm very apple shaped and just feel like a whale in floaty things.

You're right actually. If one of my friends was saying this to me I would be telling them the same thing. Yet I don't think to do that myself.

I never really bother with jewellery and accessories...I don't know why. And I definitely think they could make me feel more put together. I'm going to have a mooch at the weekend ...etsy maybe? Or just good old next and m&s...

This Uniqlo dress has a drawstring just above the natural waistline. Uniqlo is a good place to start for basic replacement casual items.

I'm looking at the uniqlo site... I like this, also a bit closer to my price range.
Anyone know about the sizing? I'm thinking I would order a L and an XL to try?

I used to get XL when I was a size 16, at Uniqlo. I wouldn't imagine much as changed regarding sizes.

I too have a similar body shape and find wide leg trousers are the most flattering trousers for me now. They’re comfortable and stylish without trying too hard and I find tops easier to buy than bottoms.

I also think a flattering hairstyle, jewellery and makeup detract from the bottom half
that you feel self conscious about . It’s an easy look for pretty much all seasons, you can wear them with sandals, boots, trainers so easy to style. I find if my top half’s ok I can manage the bottom half.

I'm just looking at wide leg trousers on uniqlo. What boots would ypu wear with them in rhe winter? Thanks

I normally wear Chelsea boots with them, i've got some in leather and suede . I think they look fine and I find them comfortable for walking in.

That's helpful, thanks 😊

The M & S wide leg trousers with elasticated waist are good.

I like magic trousers too and Mellys, if I'm wearing looser tops to cover my tum, so I balance out.

I also buy the M & S Lily or Sienna jeans, but size up so they don't cinch my waist and give me a muffin top.

H & M also have some great linen jogger type trousers with an elasticated waist. I wear their loose floaty blouses too, they cover a multitude of sins!

Posted too soon...