What's the point in me having nice things ?

[Dogsrus99]

I WAH every day except 1, and even then the office is casual dress. I go out very little in terms of days out, shopping etc. Simply because I don't enjoy cinema/ theatre/ having a shopping day/races/ anything really. Given this, is there any point in me having designer handbags, expensive gel nails for everyday, a wide range of shoes & bags ?

I work in central London. I have lots of v nice things and have a public facing role, so lots of opportunities. I still don’t present my best because I don’t have the time, inclination, energy or mood for it.

What’s brought on this reflection?

I'm currently wanting a Kate Spade & a Marc Jacobs Tote bag, a load of new pandora jewellery, mallet trainers, loads of new Dune sandals I've seen. Is there any point ?

IMO I’d ditch the nails. I don’t like them and they destroy the nail underneath.

If it gives you pleasure does it matter if other people see it or not?

That list does sound a bit excessive! Can you cut it down and choose the things you want the most?

Logically, no point in buying all that stuff. Do you have a one item in - two items out rule, or similar? Is quantity becoming a problem?

If you can afford it and you want it then get it. It doesn't affect anyone other than you. Nice things can give you pleasure just from owning them, and who knows, if you buy them you might plan outings just to use them x

@LadyWithLapdog I really don't know TBH. Feeling that I've let myself go perhaps (weight gain from eating with no care or thought), looking at my wardrobe and seeing that I have little clothes I actually like. I find it hard to buy clothes due to my shape but easy to buy accessories. I could work in the office everyday but really don't have the energy for that in terms of getting ready every day, maintaining my hair everyday. I don't have a customer facing role. Given the option,I wouldn't really go anywhere as I don't enjoy much and I would prefer to spend my money on other things instead of theatre/day trips etc.
Iwould love to buy the nice things I mentioned but no where to go to use them, I can't be arsed to look decent on any given day really (no energy or mood to do so) and I'm wondering if I brought all these lovely accessories then would it be a waste of money ?

So you are saying the point in having fancy stuff is to show it off?
If you derive pleasure from wearing something, it shouldn't really matter whether that it to sit in your kitchen or go to the races.
If you're buying too much stuff and are feeling it is wasteful or trying to fill a hole psychologically, that is a different issue.

Prepandemic the only nice things in my wardrobe were work things. Since the pandemic this has shifted and now everything in my wardrobe is nice. I thoroughly enjoy all of it, even though I'm out much less.

The accessories rather than clothes because you don’t like your body- such a common thing.

don’t buy them, use the money to have a personal stylist session and pick up some nice clothes you like yourself in.

The point is doing it for yourself not the others!

You just sound a bit down op. I think you are having a 'what's the point' crisis.

Put some fun things in the calendar. Don't worry about clothes for the moment, work on your inner stuff first.

I WFH most days and just wear Primark leggings and a plain top. I see this as a way to put money into my one day a week outfit which can then be very nice.

There's a few things I've done yo tackle my what's the point moment that you're experiencing atm.

1. I go through my monthly statement & calculate how much I've spent unnecessarily. I then transfer that amount on my next pay day straight into premium bonds. I have less money each month to spend on shit that gathers dust.

1. Anything I do buy is generally what I really need, classic style & of higher quality so I get more wear out of it.

1. Sell off unworn items through vinted or lend them out via Hurr collective so you make some money.

1. You could rent items for a short time and then return through hurr collective as well.

1. Then reinvest anything you make, however small in a stocks or shares ISA or your pension. This has cured my endless shopping habit, make the goods earn you more money.

Given the option,I wouldn't really go anywhere as I don't enjoy much and I would prefer to spend my money on other things instead of theatre/day trips etc.

What do you enjoy?

Travel & meeting friends for lunch/dinner. Drinks out but not noisy/rowdy pubs and def not a pub crawl

That sounds like plenty of occasions to dress up and enjoy your things. I also agree with PP, however, about addressing whether you’re a bit depressed. I also love the idea of a rental website for designer-y clothes. It’s not something I’m personally into, but I think we over-consume in general, and anything that can reduce that is a good thing.

It seems like you're realising that buying them would be in an attempt to change the way you feel - emotional shopping, as it were - and that it wouldn't work because you aren't happy right now.

What would you actually rather be doing?

There is no point or obligation and it's only what you can easily afford and what you prioritise. I couldn't afford a designer bag atm or fortnightly gel nails (which I don't like anyway) without having to cut back in other areas which are more important to me.

I do like clothes but I usually buy from slightly alternative/hippy type places or secondhand.

I don't see the need for lots of formal clothes. I don't really have any in my wardrobe. I do work in an office and it is on the more formal side (no jeans or trainers), so I need things for that. But if I ever got invited to a black tie event or formal wedding, I'd need to rent or buy something I think! But I haven't been to a really formal event in years, so it's fine.

I wouldn't bother with the Kate Spade bag as it sounds as if you don't even want it! Maybe fashion is just a hobby you are no longer that into and that's totally fine

Well, travel and seeing friends are certainly worth spending money on.

To be brutally honest, the brands you’ve mentioned are pretty second rate, on the whole. I wouldn’t waste my money on any of them (and I’m happy to spend a fortune on really good clothes).

You are a good enough reason to have nice things if you want them

If you can afford to buy these things, treat yourself. I am all about having things to look forward to and treating yourself if you want to and can afford to.

No one knows what is around the corner, tomorrow is another day.

If you can afford it and it's fun, do it. Put pleasure into your everyday life. These are your days; enjoy every one of them.