Pale, flabby and a bit Drab, dreading holiday

[BarnabyRocks]

Hi,
I'm going on holiday with my husband and children soon, it will be hot. I'm quite pale and don't tan well. After two kids and minimal exercise for the last 10 years, it's all gone very flabby. I'm about a stone over weight, my thighs are full of cellulite, so are my upper arms and I have a wobbly tummy. I'm quite a low maintenance person, some would say plain/drab/mumsy. I hardly wear any makeup, ears not pierced, I don't even wear nail polish. Mostly because of my thighs, the paleness and the overall weirdness of my body shape, I am stumped about what to wear on hot days and I'm DREADING being seen out with a swimming costume on (although I have just bought a really good tummy control one that drags my tummy in and looks okay). My children love the beach/lakes, so we will definitely be doing lots of that. My husband told me one day on holiday last year that I looked dreadful (or words to that effect) in a vest and shorts so I have vowed never to wear shorts again, and I won't, and have bought better (more floaty) cami type vests, which suit me better and hide my tummy.

What can wear in very hot weather to cover my legs? I just had an idea, fleeting, that I should maybe spend a few days before I go getting a spray tan, nails done etc., but I don;t know where I'll get the time to do that, doesn't it look awful as it fades and I'm not sure it's me? My kids LAUGH when they see me with lipstick on, but I just want to try to feel semi okay about myself. Oh and what's making me more nervous about it is we're holidaying with a lovely couple and she has not got one ounce of fat on her body, is already a lovely golden/light brown colour and always looks fabulous.
Help please.

Its a misnomer obviously as they don't melt belly fat. They do however concentrate on strengthening the core muscles enabling them to act like a natural corset to hold the stomach in. Most people look entirely different with straight posture and their core muscles engaged, rather than relaxed and leading with the belly, so there's something in it I think.

Did your husband really say words to that effect or are you feeling so crap about yourself you're interpreting it that way?

They are core strengthening exercises. Not 'nonsense' at all.

Your husband sounds like a shit.
I’ve come to the realisation over the years that shorts don’t suit me, so my holiday wardrobe is mainly sundresses with a little sleeve. At night I have a long patterned skirt and T-shirts in a few colours to match the skirt, plus a pair of wide leg cream linen trousers that I can also wear the T-shirts with.
The game changer for me moving away from shorts was buying chub-rub shorts (from Snag, others are available) so dresses and skirts are comfy and cool.

You don’t need lots and lots of clothes.
Remember also that comparison is the thief of joy. Your travel companion shouldn’t have a bearing on how you feel. Easier said than done, I know.
Enjoy your kids and holiday.

Nobody here is saying plain/drab/mumsy. Nothing wrong with pale and natural looking.

Cami type vest + shorts sound ideal for the beach and lakes, but if you really don't want to wear shorts, you could try a cargo trouser style which will also go with the cami vests.

It sounds like time is an issue. If so, get a tinted lip balm and a nail strengthener. A nice straw hat, beach bag, sandals, and new sunglasses.

Core strengthing doesn’t burn belly fat

Why the hell must she get all this bloody faff done in order to be 'acceptable'?

I despair.

I agree dresses and skirts are flattering. Also shorts in very hot weather are uncomfortable I find. Why not do the tan and toenails as a one-off? Even if they make you feel just a bit better.

Get a few nice wafty dresses

Avoid loud colours/prints- stick to "boring" colours - khaki, black, white, navy - whichever looks best on your skin tone

Couple of pairs of leather sandals, maybe one in metallic

Spray tan, Mani pedi and brows and you'll feel like a queen I hope

The OP doesn’t ‘have’ to do everything suggested but this is the Style & Beauty Forum and she did ask about holiday dressing inspiration and mentioned make-up/a manicure. No-one has said she needs to do this to be acceptable but maybe having a pedicure, manicure, groomed eyebrows, wearing lipstick, perhaps a tan can help her confidence and add to her overall holiday look.

If you despair and are sneery over this, perhaps you shouldn’t be on the S&B forum.

Can I just add, I am in holiday right now, and there are all sizes and all shapes. From palest pale to mahogany brown, no makeup full makeup and lashes. Bikinis and tummy control, everything. And NO ONE cares, it's very liberating. Please don't worry, wear what you feel comfortable in and is flattering for you. I have smock dresses and chub rub shorts from blooming bloomers. I was also remind your husband and your children to be kind.

Not saying you need to get anything done, but I am as low maintenance as they come (hair cut twice a year is literally the only thing I go to a salon for) and recently got a gel mani/pedi in a really bright colour. Really perked me up - and (bonus!) my kids love it 😄 tbh I wouldn’t bother with the spray tan, I would just lean into being pale. I am super pale and never tan, and always envious of those who can, but hopefully I’ll have the last laugh by looking younger in my old age. Well done on finding a swim suit that works. Floaty kaftan coverups, skirts with wide waist bands (I find narrower ones dig in / cut you in half, and give excess tummy bulge whereas a wide one is more flattering). A lovely broad brimmed hat. Agree on a crisp oversize white shirt and dark bottoms - saw someone at school pickup dressed like this, she looked so elegant.

@Leastsaidsoonestscrewed

The op asked for advice and ideas, and indicated that she would like to wear lipstick and be happier with her appearance.

I suggested things that make me feel better: it’s not an order 😂 I find if I’m more confident in how I look I’m more confident and able to deal with life.

Each to their own

I've just got a lovely long kaftan from Ebay for my holiday to throw on over my bikini/swim suit. It's really nice, they have some in other colours also...which I might have to buy.

I am pale and a fake tan looks awful on me .
dont aspire ro be like the other woman .

embrace who uou are

id go For elegant english rose .

long cool flowy dresses.
gorg sunglasses.
nails done.
and a nice lippy .

I look dreadful in shorts-I’m not very tall, big boobs and feel like they accentuate all my worst bits. I look much better in a knee length summer dress or a vest top with a slightly A-line denim skirt. Go for stuff you feel comfortable in

Your husband and kids don’t seem to be helping your confidence much though-I’d be very upset if mine reacted like that.

I’m the same, OP. I’ve come to realise dresses-of-not-clingy material work best for me. No jersey. Next has some good linen ones. New Look great for shirt or wrap dresses. Midi length is trendy, loving that. Sandals or trainers and away you go!

You have a husband problem, not a style problem.

Dont drink and follow the diet recommended for people with type 2 diabetes (no sugary drinks, no white carbs ie bread pasta or potatoes or rice unlesss whole grain) and you will have SUCH a glow up within two weeks I promise

The work out will be good for your mood and confidence but you can't work off a bad diet- just cut out sugar and you'll glow

This is a pretty dress

I got it from Sainbury's. They had two that had some serious inner pulling-in structure and it really pulls me in. It's got a red-ish and white flower pattern (sounds mumsy, but it was the control panel I was interested in).

Thank you x

Thanks!

Thank you, I am on it!