...and it is Waitrose Baby Bottom Butter!
I can't even remember what made me put it on my face one day but OMG - it is fab. I have been using it constantly for 2 weeks now and my skin now has the smoothest texture, which I don't think it's had since pre-pubescence. And it makes my foundation look super dewy and youthful too. It is SO much better than all the expensive face creams I have tried - including Creme de la Mer.