Need to help to feel (and look) better in bridesmaid dress.

[Ifyouwantmeillbeinthebar]

It’s my sister’s wedding next week and at the grand old age of 43 and 3 kids down I’m a bridesmaid, obviously delighted and honoured but also anxious as hell about what I look like in the dress.

I’m 5’7 and about a size 16 which I think I carry ok however the dress mg sister has picked is highlighting all my worst areas and I really don’t like it.

I have obviously not said a word, it’s my sisters day but wondered if anyone might have some tips on both really efficient shape wear and a good supportive strapless bra.

I have booked myself in to get tan, nails, eye brows etc which I hope will help but wondered if anyone else has any other tips about how to wear something confidently when you don’t feel it at all.

Remember people don't see you stood still at your worst angles. You are living, animated and hopefully happy, smiling being! People focus on your face when they talk to you. If there's a handy child about they will cover up your worst bits! 😁 In photos you will have flowers / be stood with others which again can cover the bits you dislike. A lot of the time you will be sitting down so if it's hips or stomach you won't see them. 🙂

And just style it out. Models are all shapes and sizes now and they do to advertise clothes - which sell!

I let my BM pick their dresses for this reason. So they could feel confident with what they were wearing.

So in terms of practical advice. Remember people don’t look at you at critically as you look yourself. Realistically people will think you look gorgeous especially with you hair and makeup etc done. But depending on which bits you’re not happy with would shapewear underneath the dress make you feel more confident? Three massive babies here and I know I would be lost without it.

I'm sure you look great the dress anyway but if a bit of a foundation would help you feel more confident then for control undies i would suggest just a spanx thong- no VPL and higher waisted styles can roll down. With only a week to go I wouldn't be messing about trying cheap alternatives tbh. Would a slip help to avoid clinginess?

Best strapless bra I have ever had for any price is from Primark- quite recent, don't know the style name but I think it came with detachable straps from the DD+ section, straight across like a balconette. Nice wide straps at the back so no cutting in.

You're the only one aware of your least favourite bits so good posture and smile and people will just be thinking how lovely you look.

I'd take the dress with you to Bravissimo or similar and get the best possible underwear that works with you and the dress.

Do you think your sister would be open to you wearing a different dress in the evening? That way you might feel more comfortable as the dancing begins.

I went to a local lingerie boutique near me and asked for a bra fitting. I was blown away by how far off the correct size my bras were! I’ve looked much better ever since and my boobs look amazing. If you’ve got a bit of cash to spend try and google ‘bra fitting’ near you with good reviews. Take the dress along and im sure they’ll find you something that looks amazing

The flowers will really help! I was a bridesmaid very recently and I'm at that awkward stage in the second trimester of pregnancy where it's like "is she pregnant or just too many pies?" But I covered my belly area with the flowers for the photos. (We all did). Outside photo-taking, it's like the commenter above said, you're walking, talking, interacting with your kids etc. People will just think "what a lovely bridesmaid and mum".

In the end I kind of forgot what I looked like because I was blowing giant bubbles for the kids and they loved it and everyone was looking at the bubbles not my belly!

Wear a lipstick or highlighter that you love, can make a huge difference to how you feel. Remember everyone will be thinking you look lovely so style it out!

Wow thanks everyone, you’ve already made me feel much better, the flowers are a great tip.

unfortunately we live quite far away from wedding so dress is now with sister ready to be pressed.

She did start off saying she was happy for bridesmaid to wear any style of dress as long as the same colour, then it was it had to be the same range and then it all got very stressy and I think she actually realised she wanted more curated than what she originally thought and before we knew it were all in the same dress. Which was a shame as I’d originally found one that was absolutely beautiful and fell amazing in.

on paper if should be nice, off shoulder, with little capped sleeves and extra material round neck line creating some folds, crossed over at front creating a bit of a ruched effect and then a slit down the front of the leg but because she has gone budget (think Quizz etc) it’s just not got the weight or thickness of material to make it slimming particularly for us larger ladies.

Very happy to put a decent amount of money to some shape wear just to smooth everything out. We are having our hair and make up professionally done on morning of wedding which is a lovely touch and I’m really looking forward to and I’m sure on the day everything will feel so special that I won’t be worrying about how I look.

it’s just not got the weight or thickness of material to make it slimming particularly for us larger ladies.

Even just an under slip would probably improve the way it hangs, then. (You can pin or tack the straps onto the inside sleeve at the top for an off the shoulder dress with capped sleeves) 🙂

If your budget allows maybe buy it again for yourself to try it on, on a specific shapewear shopping trip?

Or buy it, do the shapewear trip and leave the dress back, all in 1 day? As you haven't actually worn it, just tried it on a few times?

Drives me mad these strapless BM dresses, absolutely ridiculous for any woman over age 22.

I said this on another thread but honestly M&S shape wear is amazing. I bought an all in one thing to wear under a dress that was too tight on my bum and it really made a difference. It was like wearing armour and I wouldn't have wanted to wear it on a hot day but it definitely did the trick!

Pippa Middleton aside. Can you recall what any particular individual bridesmaid looked like at any particular wedding you've been to before? Can you remember even what colours your friends bridesmaids wore if the wedding was more than a year ago? Can you remember if they were sleeveless or off the shoulder??
It's more about the overall look of the wedding

On a more practical note what about a basque type body that would help you feel supported

I’ve never found a strapless bra that gave my big boobs sufficient support. I’m also a size 16. but size E.

It depends on how big your bust is whether you’ll be the same as me.

I bought a corset. It’s strapless. Lots if support. But can be seen a bit through thin material. So it needs Spanx or a slip or whatever to streamline it. Your posture will be great but you also have to stay very upright. Sitting isn’t the most comfy!

Your favourite lipstick