Sick of dyeing my hair!!!

[Surlaplage]

I starting going grey at 18.

I'm now 40 and am dye my hair pretty regularly using a box dye. I'm sure that underneath the dye, my hair is completely white on either side of my parting, so each side is pure White for a width of about 4 inches on each side.

The rest of my hair is speckled with random whites. I'm naturally mid to dark brown but prefer to be a bit lighter with a little balayage. However, a lighter base colour doesn't cover my roots properly and so I normally use a 5 to dye my hair. The balayage has been dyed over/grown out. Its now one homogenous mass of box dye brown.

I hate it. I feel like im darker than I want to be but can't see a way out of it. I use box dyes as I honestly don't have time to sit around a hairdressers every month: that's how often I'd have to do it, and I don't particularly enjoy paying through the nose every 4 weeks.

I would go proper blonde but all forms of blonde look awful on me. I did try. I'm a real brunette and it was horrible with my colouring.

Before anyone suggests growing it out and rocking the white, I absolutely hate that look (sorry).

So I feel like I've no options and have to stick with horrible dark brown lego hair. My white roots are growing again and I can't believe it's time again!

I know that I've not left much wiggle room but am wondering if anyone has some amazing tip that I didn't know about and can rescue my sad hair.

If I didn't have any white hair, I would just leave my hair and never colour it. Surely there must be a better solution than the options available!

I know yiu say you don't want white hair but two women I know have stopped dying their hair (mid 40s) and I think they look fantastic. One of them frequently changes hers up a bit. She is fully white. She has tried lilac, rose gold, silver rinses and they have all looked great. The other lady is more grey but naturally has more depth to her colour. Both keep their hair above shoulder length, one a sharp bob and the other more of a Boho wave style.

Why don’t you change the colour of your box dye, you can go lighter brown, you are using quite a dark one, they always come out darker than on the box and you can also have auburn or reddish tints, box dye fades very quickly

I have to have mine coloured every three weeks because of the roots. I used to box dye it and it looked horrendous, far too dark for me. I go to a little hairdressers now, have it done for £30. I also have the colours they use to keep my front roots sorted until it’s time to go again.

Is that an option ?

Pay out just this once to a hairdresser and explain what you want to do. They are the experts here and will advise you on the best way to achieve the look that you want.
I had to stop dyeing my hair when cold capping while on chemo. By the time chemo was finished I had lost 30/40% of my hair and the rest was half grown out so my hairdresser cut it in a style to begin taking out some of the dyed hair. After two or three cuts like this I was finally grey but it is a mix of what looks like natural hair colour plus several shades of what looks like highlighted grey/white. But it was good, shiny and healthy so after the final cut - I'd had time to get to used to the colour and didn't bother colouring/highlighting again even though it was always a possibility that I'd change my mind.

I've had a similar problem. My skin tone does not suit white hair - I was a brunette until the greys came in. I do love the look of grey hair on others but I'm just not ready to do it yet. Box dyes look flat once they've been done several times on the same hair, so the bottom half in particular just looks dull and overdyed and weirdly red in certain lights.

Now I do a 'rinsage' every few weeks. Google for more info, but basically you take a bit of blue-black dye, developer and shampoo, mix and pop it on for a couple of minutes. It blends the greys nicely, looks kind of ashy light brown and my streaks of white hair look like highlights. I expect you could do it with brown dye if you wanted a warmer look. It's so much more natural than using the box dye.

I was the same OP. I ended up bleaching my hair which was the only way to get rid of the box dye. Once it was all lightened I then put bright colours over the top. I still needed to dye it all of the time cos of my roots, but I liked the colour better.

Bleach will wreck your hair though.

I have gone back to a lighter brown again now. I use a 6 in a cool ash brown colour. I use a permanent colour every four weeks. Once a week I use a deep conditioner and mix it with a semi permanent colour gloss. It works well at topping up the colour (it fades where my hair was bleached) and temporarily covering any greys.

Something I only really discovered after experimenting with different colours is that I suit cool colours so much better. The problem with a lot of brown hair dye is that it is warm toned and you get that awful coppery look on grey hair. Maybe you need to try something with a different tone? Be prepared that it might not change the brown that is already on your hair though!

Some brilliant ideas! Am loving the rinse idea too. This is what I knew I could count on S&B for!

V interested in this but worry it wouldn't cover stubborn white hair.

I'd love to do this but the lighter browns don't cover all the grey, at least not for long anyway.

I am the same OP and at nearly 48 years old, I'm giving myself until 50 to decide whether to stop dying or continue.

Like you, I look hideous when the greys start to grow out again and it ages me by at least 10 years imho!

Also like you, I have been using a number 5 browny colour and it's just getting so dark on me now.

Think I will have to try a bit lighter next but I have to have ammonia free dyes due to scalp sensitivity.

Agree with @Rainbow1901 . Go to a good hairdresser and get some help on colour then box dye to match.

Hi OP, You sound like me a few years ago op - I had brown hair that just started going grey very young and so I started on the treadmill of dyeing, which I have been doing now for about 15 years - I'm now 38.
Honestly if it looked ok with grey, I would let it grow out, but I have pale Irish skin with pinky undertones and it's pretty much 80% white, so it would look so washed out. My best friend let hers grow out over lockdown and it looks amazing, it's like she has grey highlights, but she has sallow skin and it really suits her - mine is totally different.

I know you said that blonde won't suit you, but there is a shade of blonde to suit every skin tone, you would just need to get a good colourist to advise. Or you could just start slowly going lighter over time. If you don't want to go blonde just try a lighter shade of brown, they always come out darker and the colour builds up on your hair.

My routine is I use Wella Colour Touch Plus (I buy a big bottle of developer and some tubes on amazon, it's the professional stuff plus I bought a plastic bowl and professional application brush online), it's good for covering stubborn greys. I wouldn't use box dye as it's really harsh on your hair and there's so much waste if you are just doing the roots.

I started on about level 6 for the roots, and started getting highlights a few times a year, and then gradually moved up to a level 7, and now I'm on a level 8 ( I think it's 88/07 which is a neutral or ash tone, but it's not golden or brassy) - you can see from the photo that my roots are still a bit dark for level 8 but it always comes out darker and then fades after a few washes.

I do my own roots at home about once a month (I use the ColourWow powder in between when it starts to grow out), and get highlights about 3 or 4 times a year.
It took me a few years to go from dark brown to blonde but I'm happy with it now, the roots don't show as much when they do come through.

I know it's a faff but it works for me. In 10 - 15 years time I will let it grow out but I'm not ready yet.

All these hair dye solutions are great (@Farmageddon your hair is lovely!) but they don't solve the basic problem, which is that it's such a pain to keep dyeing it.

You're right, OP, rinsage might not give enough coverage for you. My hair is very fine so it sucks up the colour. But mainly I like how easy it is.

Another option might be to go to the salon and have highlights and lowlights quite close to your natural tones as possible. Then you could just use that spray on root touch-up stuff to delay how often you need to have it redone.

I went down the getting it dyed at the hairdressers then asking for the colour code and matching it to a box set route. Since Covid I’ve done it myself at home. I use Nice and Easy root cover up about every days, it takes 12 minutes in total and then I wash my hair. Every 8 months I do an all over colour with Nice and Easy. I use medium golden brown. I’m 54

That should say every 10 days.

I use the same high coverage professional dye ( Inoa) my hairdresser uses in between appointments- it seems to cover more effectively.

I'm very dark naturally ( used to be 4 when younger) but I'm on 6 or a mix of 6 and 7 now. The colour tends to lift in between colours from being outside, I then do the roots and take the colour in streaks down my hair, so that the lifted bits are like highlights.

It works really well, I too have been dying for decades and not ready to give up yet!

If OP has grey hair but doesn't want grey hair, the options are dye it or wear a wig to cover it. There isn't really much else you can do?! It's really about doing something to reduce how frequently the roots need to be redone.

What brand do you use of dye? You need to make sure its a good quality permanent colour.

The lighter browns will probably take lighter to your grey hair than your darker hair and probably not lift the box dyed hair. So the grey will still stand out.

Like others have said I’d go get it sorted at the hairdressers then try and maintain it yourself. Having highlights will break up the line of regrowth and a good hairdresser will be able to find colours to suit you. Mine is dyed copper with a mix of highlights and lowlights, I do my roots at home with a professional colour that my hairdresser uses then have it done professionally by him every 4 months ish. I’m in a fairly cheap part of the country for this tho.
My own hair is pretty grey and grew a weird patchy mix of brown and blonde when I was younger, I’d much rather keep colouring it than have to work with what’s underneath

@FarTooHotForMe thats a gorgeous natural result 🙌

Twinklewonderkins aaaaw thank you.

I’d suggest going to the hairdressers to have a professional job to get to the colour you like, and then put on a temp colour like the Leganza colouring conditioner onto the roots in between appointments. It colours grey really well although you do have to leave it on 20 mins (I just do this when I’m having a bath every couple of weeks).