Desperately need advice re nails

[ahundredlifetimes]

Hello

If anyone is or has been in the same position as I'm in now and has any helpful advice to offer me, I would greatly appreciate it.

Basically, in the past year my overall health has just gone to pot. I appreciate this might be stress-related possibly due to being trapped in a very difficult marriage to a narcissist, and then earlier this year a terminal cancer diagnosis for my lovely Mum (still with us but we know she's living on borrowed time) and a recent breast-cancer scare myself, but whatever the reason my health has taken a real nosedive. Like so many people I've tried to see my GP and got nowhere so gave up and trying to manage myself.

I've always taken care of my nails and having manicures every fortnight has been my one oasis of peace and the only thing I do for myself. About two months ago when I went for my scheduled manicure, I was told that the beautician I usually see was off with Covid and a colleague had come from a partner salon to cover for her and handle all her appointments. I did ask if I could reschedule for my regular beautician for the following week but was told they didn't know if she would be back and assured me that I would receive a professional manicure from the lady who was covering for her. Okay. I sat down and the lady started.

To my absolute shock and horror, this woman clipped all the length off my natural nails. I mean really short, to just about level with the skin at the very tips of my fingers. It was done so fast I didn't have time to stop her. Just clip, clip, clip, all across one hand then the other. She then dropped my right hand and plucked a plastic tip from a little box on the desk, pressing it into my thumb to check for fit before picking up a bottle of what I assume was adhesive. At this point I got my breath back and snatched my hand away and asked her why on earth she'd cut all my nails off. She said she never works over someone else's work. I told her I could understand if I'd acrylic or gel nails put on by my regular beautician, but these were my own natural nails and my appointment was for a reagular manicure so there was absolutely no reason whatsoever to hack them all off like she did. The woman just shrugged and said she would do a very good manicure but I declined and got up. Seeing how very upset I was, the salon manager came over and when I explained what had happened and that I was leaving, she profusely apologised and offered the proposed manicure including a hand massage free of charge, but I told her that wouldn't make up for having my nails hacked off for no reason, and I left.

Since then, my nails have flaked and cracked and split and the skin around the actual nails and at the very tips of my fingers has become hard and calloused, and I'm afraid that in trying to remove the hard skin I've filed and clipped and even bitten to the point of bleeding. They look awful and now I'm utterly embarrassed by them and ashamed for anyone to see them.

I've tried soaking in warm oil, using vaseline at night with gloves, but I can't seem to soften the hard areas and there also seems to be a lot of loose skin that I end up nibbling at in an effort to remove it because otherwise it catches on fabric and other things and...well, I don't have a camera to provide a picture but I promise you, my nails are currently dreadful and I keep hiding my hands so people won't see.

On top of the decline in health, the strain and stress of the difficult marriage, and the cancer diagnosis and scare, this feels overwhelming. I know people will likely think its stupid to be so upset over nails, but having nice nails was the one thing I had for myself. I don't go anywhere, have no social life to speak of, and rarely buy new clothes etc. I just had my nice nails. And now they're gone and I'm left with these awful, horrible stumps and don't know how to heal them. They feel really rough and hard and they're painful.

Has anyone else had this problem with their nails? How did you heal them? And how long did it take? I'd be very grateful for any genuine tips or advice.

Thank you.

For the nails, try: wrapping some oats in a muslin cloth or something similar and tying it up, putting it in a container of water and squeezing it so all the oat juice comes out. It really helps soothe skin, I do it for my little ones bath time a couple times a week.

You could also try coconut oil/hemp cream/E45. Maybe you need a prescription cream? Also, it might be something more important like an underlying health condition? Or something less overwhelming like not drinking enough water or not having enough of a certain vitamin. Maybe switch up your diet and see?

And sorry you've been through what you've been through, I hope you can find joy in something else that makes you feel good if your nails take a while to get back to what they were

I’m sorry about everything you’re going through.

This has happened to my nails a few times in the past, and for me, the key has been moisturising hands and nails very regularly, taking hair skin and nails vitamins, and leaving my nails short and unvarnished until it has completely grown out and been replaced by new nail.

The last time was two months ago, and so for the past two months I have had short stumpy nails with no nail colour, which I hate as I feel like I’m neglecting myself. But I can see my nails and skin getting better and in a couple of weeks I should be able to get back into manicures.

Oh and stop removing the hard skin! The hard skin around your fingernails isn’t like the hard skin on your feet that you can just remove. Just moisturise very very regularly.

Although, is it possible that the skin was always like that, but you’ve not really noticed but you’ve had long nails for a long time?

Castor oil

Slather on something healing and wear cotton gloves to bed. They will grow out in no time, a couple of weeks and it'll be like this never happened!

I find mine grow stronger when I clip rather than file the length down, so I doubt that's linked to the current condition of your nails and agree that could be the stress and health issues catching up with you.

Clipping your nails won’t have damaged them.

Things like Vaseline won’t do anything for skin or nail - it’s an occlusive. This means it’s a barrier product that isn’t absorbed and can’t add moisture.

Short nails can look absolutely stunning when painted. Your nails will grow back quickly but in the meantime you can still have lovely nails/hands. Personally I prefer the look of short nails. But I understand you’re upset.

You need a quality nail oil. Something that isn’t mineral oil based. The 2 products I’ve attached are very good and you can get mini bottles to try.

I would also take a multivitamin if you don’t already. You’re probably a bit run down and making sure you have all your nutrients will result in healthier stronger nails.

Lastly, stop picking. Stop cutting. With a quality hand cream or using the nail oil more liberally around the surrounding skin these hardened areas will soon shrink and vanish.

A cube or two of jelly a day will deal with the flaking.

Clipping nails doesn't damage them.

File neatly, use a clear varnish and moisturize. I use coconut oil. Don't pick at the skin, which only toughens it. Make a nice scrub of sugar and oil, and use daily.

Sorry you had such a horrible experience on top of everything else. The salon was really out of order.

Stop doing anything to then, don't cut, don't pick, other than putting some sort of oil or nourishing treatment on them.

mavala nail hardener
opi nail envy on top.
Neutrogena handcream frequently
nail oil
i also get what my husband calls quick nails. Tiny bits of skin I’ve caught somehow and they peel a tiny bit. I’m afraid I now cuticle nipper them off. Stops them being pulled and leaving a sore mess!

Starting biting your nails because you're stressed is the cause of all of the hard skin, as it's reacting to trauma by thickening - and they're splitting because you've bitten them allowing water in.

Using a glass file very gently will make the edges smooth as you allow them to grow. Washing in gentle soap and warm water will keep them clean and then patting dry and applying oil will help the proximal folds and tips. Other than that, it's just time and they'll grow back.

Thank you so much for your responses. I really didn’t expect such kindness and well wishes along with any tips or advice that may be offered. At this point in my life, it means so much and I really appreciate it.

@CuriousMummyy Your suggestion about wrapping oats in a muslin cloth etc took me right back to my teens as I used to do this when having a bath! I’d hang the bag over the tap so that it remained in the bathwater for the duration of my bath and yes it really did sooth my skin. I can certainly do that on a smaller scale just enough to be able to soak my fingers in it. I’m being monitored for the various conditions I’ve developed so I think if a prescription had been deemed necessary they would have provided it by now (I have told my GP how painful my fingertips are) and I drink plenty of water. One suggestions is that I may be deficient in B1 but it was just a suggestion the GP made (over the phone) with no recommendation as to whether to get a targeted B1 supplement or a good multivitamin…I have coconut oil (E45 never worked that well for me) so may try that. Thank you.

@TimesRwo Do you take a specific hair/skin and nails vitamin supplement? Hearing that the process at least for you has taken only a couple of months or so has calmed me as I was fearing it might take a year. I already decided to keep my nails short and unvarnished until they have completely grown out and been replaced by new nails. I will really do my best not to remove the hard skin 😊 No, the skin wasn’t always like that – I used hand cream regularly and really both my hands and nails were lovely. Thank you.

@Geppili I know Castor Oil is a tried and tested remedy for all sorts of things but hadn’t heard it recommened for nails before. Would I just rub it into cuticles and nails or is this more of a soak for deeper moisturisation? Thank you.

@Seddon I have been using good quality hand cream and even tried an antiseptic/antibacterial cream and wore cotton gloves overnight but neither seems to have worked very well ☹ I haven’t tried clipping though, only filing, which I am obviously rubbish at because I just made them worse. I think you are probably right in that the current condition of my nails is more likely caused by the stress and health issues catching up with me. Thank you.

@Gribbit987 I tried Vaseline at the beginning as someone told me it would soften the hard skin but I just found it too greasy and it made a mess of my cotton gloves. Thank you so much for recommending the 2 products! I’ve ordered a small bottle of the Solar Oil to try. Is there a particular multivitamin you would recommend? I find the types and choices overwhelming and confusing. Thank you.

@urbanbuddha When I was little we were always given 2 cubes of jelly a day for our nails! I had forgotten that, but suppose I’d dismissed it since as an old wives tale. I’ll be shopping on Friday so will get a couple of jelly blocks and take 2 cubes daily – nothing to lose, right? Thank you.

@ZeldaWillTellYourFortune The scrub of sugar and oil sounds like a nice, easy and safe way to perhaps exfoliate the hard skin around the edges, which is what is causing most of the problems because it does flake into smaller sharper pieces which then catch on everything. Thank you.

@Oblomov23 I hear you. Everyone is agreed on this so it seems wise counsel to me. Thank you.

@Wolfiefan My sister bought me a bottle of Mavala nail hardener! I was keeping it for use after I had resolved the hard skin issue as I thought using a nail hardener might make that worse. Neutrogena hand cream doesn’t seem to suit me, it just leaves a film on my skin which I have to wash off. ‘Quick nails’ – yes! That’s exactly how I would describe mine. Is a cuticle nipper the same as nail clippers? Thank you.

@NeverDropYourMooncup I didn’t know files were also made of glass as well as metal or board! I know I need to stop nibbling and picking and pulling. Thank you.

I feel like I’ve received so much good, sound advice and encouragement to my post and its really lifted my flagging spirits. Thank you all.

Oh I’m pleased this thread has helped you. I know it can seem silly to get upset at something as small as nails, but when it’s been a part of your identity for so long, you feel lost, in a way, when they’re not maintained. I was at some work drinks last week, and I felt so self conscious with my short unmanicured nails, but I’m sure no one really noticed!

The tablets I take are Perfectil hair, skin and nails. I find that they really do work when I take them. There may be other brands that work just as well but that’s all I’ve ever used.

And they should definitely grow back in a couple of months! It obviously depends on the rate of your nail growth, but if you get a manicure every couple of weeks, that suggests they grow at a normal rate so you should have new nail after not too long. A couple months ago my nails were flaky and so weak that they would bend back at the lightest touch. They feel much more like they used to do now and I’m really looking forward to getting them done again very soon! Sometimes the nails just need a break and a little TLC.

Keep us updated!

Everybody hates it even they break a nail or they don't look right. So we all get how you feel, especially on top of everything you've been through. Good thing about hair and nails, no matter what we do, they grow. And they grow quite quickly. And another positive, although I know you don't think it, they're all the same length, so they won't look odd to other people. Just leave them alone if possible.

My nails went through a period of always splitting and not lying flat in their beds. I think I had a very poor diet. I took Asda skin, hair and nails. They were £3 but I think they've been reduced to £2 now. You could literally see in my nails where I had started taking them. The top half was weak, ridged and splitting. The bottom half was smooth and flat. When they grew out fully, they became strong. My sister was sceptical over vitamins but when she saw the physical difference halfway down my nails, she started to take them herself. 😆 They're very cheap so definitely worth a go.

PS. I neither work for nor have shares in Asda. 😄 But the fact they're often sold out shows how popular they are.

The Asda vitamins are really good, I often buy 2 or 3 bottles at a time. Jojoba oil is good for nails and good luck