Dressing for the menopausal midriff

[Cornflakecrack]

It’s always been my ‘problem area’ I have a rectangular brick like body with long limbs but have always had a bloated rounded lower belly with along with no waist at all isnt an easy shape to dress for. Brick shape means a big rib cage also although my boobs are relatively small.

I have rock hard abs underneath it from all the core work I do but it makes no difference I’m always bloated in shape.

Now add on the meno belly extra layer of fat on belly and love handle area and it’s really getting me down clothing wise. Nothing hangs right, I look like a teletubby and it’s just so ageing. It screams middle age (which I am but who needs to be shouting it!).

If I wear ‘floaty’ or shift shapes the fabric will skim across my belly and make me look pregnant

I cant wear fitted dresses as I have nothing to fit to as no waist.

Cropped anything is awful

Long is awful as see floaty above

Mum jeans just look ridiculous

Just about can do a half tuck with a t shirt or shirt but I have to have elasticated waist trousers else they don’t fit (which are thankfully all the rage right now)

Im a Zara/Free people on pay day kind of dresser.

All help grateful received.

Oh my goodness I just did my measurements. Damming!

Im 5ft5 and was always 9stone and a size 10. I haven’t weighed myself for ages and ages but suspect I’m about ten stone now.

I wear a 12.

I’m not sure where I’m meant to measure so I went just under my boobs, where my waist should be and round the biggest part of my hips - wait for it-
32
33
35

I am actually a teletubby

No hang on I lied

my hips are 39
and tbh that was my ‘waist’ when I’d barely eaten. After supper tonight it will be significantly bigger

Gosh people sound very voluptuous

I'm 5 6 and a size 12, I'm 62kg so I think 9 stone 11?

I'm a 34D/DD boobs, 32-33 waist and hips 37

I've got short big/chunky legs and a long body though

I recently bought a maternity dress by mistake as it was on the sale rail along with the regular clothing. I was impressed at how it hung nicely and how it didn't hug my tummy. It was only when i got it home that i noticed the label said maternity. So that would be my tip! This dress was from h&M,

My old H&M maternity T-shirts are still my favourite! I was wondering whether it would be mad to buy some more. They fit and drape so nicely!

My waist is a mare - when I am on my period, my stomach bloats even more so I can't cope without elasticated waist things

You need to wear a jacket, the more tailored possible. In summer, a no sleeve white tee with a sort of longish shirt, sleeves up and possibly a very loose belt.

Draw the attention elsewhere, by trying to hide your lack of waist, I'm worse as I have a waist and a belly, you end up shouting that you're trying to hide a big belly and end up drawing attention. Try a really dramatic neckline, I have big boobs and I'm not afraid to use them 😂

Thank god I have found this thread!

So, since turning 40 last year I have been self-conscious about my tummy. My bloating has also increased so at times I look 5 months pregnant by the end of the day and it's embarrassing at work!

I am going to book a GP appointment to check it's nothing else but it's doing my head in. Even running x 3 times a week isn't helping the tummy 😞

I like this dress. That seems to be a minority view though 😁

@Highdaysandholidays1 I like the sound of your look - any pointers on where to look for good camis/ trousers/ skirts?

I too am a human slab. I wear Japanese fisherman trousers, free sized with fold over sort of origami/paperback waist with long ties and cropped balloon legs, with tight V neck short sleeved t shirts and boots/high tops/Birkenstocks. Or The Linen Sack (I actually love, with interesting shoes/bag/accoutrements/massive hat and sunglasses).

Or skinny leg anything with a well cut loose t shirt, deep v neck, longer at the back to cover the ironing board shaped flat thing I use as an arse, usually black tops . To find the best T shirts I had to go up a few price brackets but it's so worth it.

Apart from that, if something doesn't flatter, I instead make sure I LOVE it in some way... For me that's darker high quality leopard print, cashmere, anything that feels good makes me feel like I look good too.

Oh and trench coats with tights or bare legs or skinnies, make me have the illusion of both a waist and a well put together existence. I also love kimono or robe type things, hair scarves, nothing that restricts or presses on my four-children producing stomach 😅

I like the sound of your style! Can I ask where you get your trousers from, please? Thanks 😊

@sanitygirl I think the last time I bought clothes from a full price shop was in the closing down sale for Gap! I used to rate some of their basics.

Now, I tend to go to charity shops (to spot the one ok thing in the entire store) or more often Vinted. I search for things that are linen, cotton, leather, denim, decent fabrics, hardly ever anything polyester as I think if you are a bit thick round the waist then drapy thin polyester just highlights it, whereas a cotton shirt will not. This year I've got two maxi denim skirts, but already my daughter has stolen the asymmetric one, I've got black camis and a couple of linen/cotton shirts. There are some amazing denim skirts on there in different colours, lots of lovely white cotton ones too. I've just seen a brand new Zara dress on there for cheap which would suit someone with a thick waist, I don't wear dresses so much but there are some bargains to be had.

I think the trick is to see behind the crap presentation of some people- especially cotton/linen things often look terrible as they are crumpled, bottom of the linen basket. That means you can get them for cheap as they are desperate by the time you turn up and offer them £4 or whatever. Bulk sellers who do it for money tend to know the value of their items.

Buy it (haggle), if it looks good, great, wear it straight away, if not, put it straight back on Vinted with a note that it didn't fit or whatever.

I have picked up a couple of black things (one dress, one shirt) from Tu as well but I don't like most of their stuff.

I do pay out for shoes though, as wearing great shoes elevates the cheaper clothes, the same with bags. Nice (gold or silver) jewellery. I often wear tan/pale suede shoes, light-coloured coat, things like that to offset the black column!

Not sure if that's helpful, I don't have links, but Vinted is relatively cheap if you know your brands/what fabrics to look for, so you could risk a couple of purchases.

52 years old
I am just under 5'10"
Bust 41"
Waist 43"
Hips 44"

A true box who looks 8 months pregnant!

The problem with the belly and small boobs is that fabric never skims away from your belly, that's where it hits. Many of my friends and family with bigger boobs look better as they hold the fabric away from your faux pregnant belly!

@VWRabbit I love the sound of those fisherman trousers. Do you have a link?

For me it's about material. I've given up on tee shirts or jersey dresses, unless it's specifically to go under something else. They just cling no matter what I do. It can be an arse for ironing but cotton shirts or tops work much better for me.

Proper underwear is also important, get remeasured for bras and high waisted seamless pants help (despite not being a Kardashian fan, Kim's Skims range is actually good)

Over that I wear wide legged or skinny jeans - nothing in the middle - it has to be either helping me create the illusion of an hourglass shape or skinny enough to have an oversized shirt on top without making me huge. I also like deep V cocoon dresses, Arket is good for these, they hide a multidue of sins but give shape better than big tent like maxi dresses. Tailoring and shape is more important to me than pattern. And everything tonal so not necessarily monochrome but definitely working together.

I'm still my own worse critic but I think it helps

This is so true

I'd go with a dress that is skimming like this and a pattern helps I think:
https://www.next.co.uk/g8810s1/c50994#c50994
Or
https://www.next.co.uk/g8892s5/c39095#c39095

Or I have a super flattering tiered relaxed shirt dress in leopard from George at asda. This type of shape:
https://direct.asda.com/george/women/dresses/grey-tiered-shirt-dress/GEM863682,default,pd.html

Or skimming trousers like this:
https://www.next.co.uk/g9823s4/d24067#d24067

With a top that isn't tucked but ends roughly on the waist of the trousers, something like this: https://www.next.co.uk/style/st912439/m75576#m75576

I think we are all different in the way we carry weight too. These type of Next dresses make me look even more pregnant. As does anything empire waist, and the linen dress posted upthread. I need a bit of waist definition.

I look best in dresses with elasticated or shirred waists, like this, but I am also only 34 B, so may look different for the bustier. hush Ren Leopard Heart Print Maxi Shirt Dress, Green at John Lewis & Partners

However, those Next tops that end on the waist and those trousers would look great on me. If only they were cotton. I can't wear polyester or nylon as I get too hot.

Unfortunately none of your offerings are suitable for the chunky of leg, wrinkly of knee or crepey of arm - that T-shirt has sleeves which emphasise a wobbly upper arm.

I agree that flowing viscose is rarely a good choice, especially when the fabric is a bit thin. And stiff linen tubes a la Seasalt stick on the stomach like nobody’s business. They do do a more flowy “painter” dress I think it’s called, but the neck was too big for me (scrawny - I think I am shaped like a turkey complete with bulked up legs…).

Sorry, that was replying to workaway. I like the Hush dress but they are soooooo long!

Wow this shows how hard it is as we are all so different.
I also cannot have anything that attempts to skim the belly as it just touches it and draws attention to the fact it’s sticking out.

But I can’t handle things that have a formal waist as it makes me so self conscious about my belly I just can’t relax.

That Next top would end at my belly’s widest part and draw attention to it also I think.

There is something about having small boobs but a big ribcage without a waist that makes anything vaguely cropped just awful.

I think the floaty tops suggested with shape or folds in them disguise the belly best