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Dress for christening

38 replies

Anonymouslyposting · 03/06/2023 10:32

My two DC are being christened next Sunday and I am really struggling to find an outfit.

I am 5 foot 8 and a size 8/10 with dark hair and pale skin. I am breastfeeding so can’t do high neck. I don’t normally wear much white but that seems to be the done thing so am looking at white/white adjacent. I look awful in orange/yellow/mint colours so not them. Technically I can spend up to around £400 but in an ideal world I’d keep it well below that.

I quite like the dresses below but I’m not sure if any of them are right. Very open to suggestions. Help!

https://uk.rouje.com/gabin-dress-periwinkle-ecru.html

https://www.matchesfashion.com/products/1478656?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_content=1478656000009&utm_term=2053765629534&gbraid=0AAAAADg3ZyZqFyuaHrOmIqlrXxdP-TVNq&gclid=CjwKCAjwyeujBhA5EiwA5WD7_W94doXgZuk8EP3cPzNvJvbcA1QV2uAOvVTWomia8Jfd68sd1-96xRoCZOEQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

https://www.johnlewis.com/lauren-ralph-lauren-velda-day-dress-mascarpone-cream-french-navy/p110088865?size=10&s_ppc=2dx92700071607142380_mixed_fashion_BAU&tmad=c&tmcampid=2&gclid=CjwKCAjwyeujBhA5EiwA5WD7_X2BoADYvTDZazVysoUk-mlOuRt3LqQKyAQDLiFw4fpA1j1EZN6xJhoCBLUQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

GABIN dress

Mid-length wrap dress <li>Bouquet of blue flowers print <li>Short sleeves <li>V-neckline <li>Fastening with five buttons and a tie at the fr ...

https://uk.rouje.com/gabin-dress-periwinkle-ecru.html

OP posts:
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GalaApples · 06/06/2023 11:28

The blue Rouge one is nice but maybe not special enough in a dressed up sense for a christening. I have never heard of the white idea, but agree some of the dresses look a bit on the bare side. Churches can be quite cold especially if very old buildings not used every week. I would go for elegant rather than super sexy. The blue floral John Lewis dress suggested bt Assigned is gorgeous.

Albless · 06/06/2023 12:36

I’m a Church of Scotland minister and white for a christening is definitely not a thing in my denomination - not for the adults at any rate. Babies often, but not always, wear a white christening robe. I’ve not seen it at the Catholic ceremonies I’ve attended either.

It is nice to get dressed up for the occasion, but not at all necessary. Wear whatever you feel comfortable and confident in.

My suggestion is that once you have decided on a dress, you then focus on the vows you will be taking and the meaning of the sacrament. It is always lovely to welcome families into the church, but it is even more lovely to see them become involved in church life and to get to know them and support them as the children grow.

It is very depressing for clergy and congregations to have families come to church all dressed up for a christening, then never to show their faces again. Apart from anything else, in my tradition, the congregation make a vow to support the parents and child. We mean what we say, but how can we fulfil our vows if we are just treated as bystanders in a stranger’s party and photo opp?

Please, see this not as a one-off event but as the beginning of something more precious and enduring than a dress.

timefornewme2023 · 06/06/2023 12:58

@Anonymouslyposting firstly congratulations!

Love the dresses you have ordered- especially the Sezane Sarah.

If I had an excuse to buy a dress like you do I would be looking at Me + Em too- they have some gorgeous florals too.

www.meandem.com/dresses

DeflatedAgain · 06/06/2023 17:42

RampantIvy · 06/06/2023 10:34

Generally white is usually the best to go for,

No it isn't. I have been present at loads of Christenings in C of E churches (both high and low church) over the years, and wearing white is definitely not a thing.

I agree that it is probably a recent "Instagram" thing, or perhaps a Catholic thing. White is such an impractical colour to wear with a breastfed baby anyway. Ignore advice to wear white unless you want to. It isn't a first communion service.

I'm RC. I wore white, my mother wore white as did her mother and the mother before that.

Maybe it's a family thing, but all my cousin's and extended family are the same 🙂

mostlydrinkstea · 06/06/2023 17:59

I'm a C of E vicar and I've never heard of mothers wearing white. It sounds like it might be an RC thing. Traditions vary by country so what happens in Ireland might not be the norm in Spain. Bear in mind that churches are generally cold. I've seen many a baptism party go quietly blue with cold when they are dressed for the nightclub and not your average parish church.

NatashaDancing · 06/06/2023 18:57

Albless · 06/06/2023 12:36

I’m a Church of Scotland minister and white for a christening is definitely not a thing in my denomination - not for the adults at any rate. Babies often, but not always, wear a white christening robe. I’ve not seen it at the Catholic ceremonies I’ve attended either.

It is nice to get dressed up for the occasion, but not at all necessary. Wear whatever you feel comfortable and confident in.

My suggestion is that once you have decided on a dress, you then focus on the vows you will be taking and the meaning of the sacrament. It is always lovely to welcome families into the church, but it is even more lovely to see them become involved in church life and to get to know them and support them as the children grow.

It is very depressing for clergy and congregations to have families come to church all dressed up for a christening, then never to show their faces again. Apart from anything else, in my tradition, the congregation make a vow to support the parents and child. We mean what we say, but how can we fulfil our vows if we are just treated as bystanders in a stranger’s party and photo opp?

Please, see this not as a one-off event but as the beginning of something more precious and enduring than a dress.

I have no religion but my experience of christenings has been to attend as a friend of parents who are committed Christians because they asked me. I had no role other than being present.

Church of Scotland and my recollection is the parents wore what they found in the wardrobe - certainly not glitzy, new outfits.

Anonymouslyposting · 06/06/2023 19:56

@Albless I understand your position and I see that it must be frustrating for people to turn up for the one off “fun” events. However, I am not particularly religious and I don’t think that’s going to change. The christening is important to my husband who is religious and used to be a regular church attendee and I’m happy to support him. I have no doubt he’d like to start going again but the last few years have been very difficult for us as a family (as I’m sure they have been for many) so giving up a quarter of our time together as a family (we have none during the week) has not been possible.

I’d actually love to be part of a community like the church offers but I’m not religious so sadly there’s nothing I can do about that. If my husband is able to take the kids in future then I’d support him doing so.

I can assure you, no one is going to be dressed for a night club.

OP posts:
Screamingabdabz · 06/06/2023 20:05

Anonymouslyposting · 06/06/2023 19:56

@Albless I understand your position and I see that it must be frustrating for people to turn up for the one off “fun” events. However, I am not particularly religious and I don’t think that’s going to change. The christening is important to my husband who is religious and used to be a regular church attendee and I’m happy to support him. I have no doubt he’d like to start going again but the last few years have been very difficult for us as a family (as I’m sure they have been for many) so giving up a quarter of our time together as a family (we have none during the week) has not been possible.

I’d actually love to be part of a community like the church offers but I’m not religious so sadly there’s nothing I can do about that. If my husband is able to take the kids in future then I’d support him doing so.

I can assure you, no one is going to be dressed for a night club.

Yes at our church it’s quite a shock to leave the morning service (jeans/jumpers/cardis) to bump into folks coming to a family service for a christening and it’s all stripper heels and race day dresses… I think people forget that a christening is introducing your child to the church family, to begin their journey into the Christian faith. Shame that people use the church for the dressing up and the photos and leave the spiritual benefits at the door…

Anonymouslyposting · 06/06/2023 20:09

@Screamingabdabz I don’t think I’ve forgotten that, I feel uncomfortable with it but what’s the alternative? Refuse to let them be christened or refuse to attend myself when it’s important to my husband?

I will be wearing flats and a cardigan over whatever dress I end up with, as I’d always intended to, and I don’t think any of the dresses I’ve posted are particularly immodest.

OP posts:
Screamingabdabz · 06/06/2023 20:13

Anonymouslyposting · 06/06/2023 20:09

@Screamingabdabz I don’t think I’ve forgotten that, I feel uncomfortable with it but what’s the alternative? Refuse to let them be christened or refuse to attend myself when it’s important to my husband?

I will be wearing flats and a cardigan over whatever dress I end up with, as I’d always intended to, and I don’t think any of the dresses I’ve posted are particularly immodest.

I suppose just be open hearted as I presume you’ll be making the liturgical vows as a parent? Your dress choices are lovely and appropriate fwiw.

Anonymouslyposting · 06/06/2023 20:21

@Screamingabdabz sorry, I’ve read my reply back and I was needlessly snappy at you. I will be making the vows and think some posters have (well meaningly) touched a nerve as I feel uncomfortable making Christian vows on behalf of my children when I’m pretty ambivalent. I don’t like to say things I don’t mean and have read through the service multiple times to get comfortable with it. I had the same problem with my wedding which, at DH’s insistence was in a church.

OP posts:
Albless · 06/06/2023 22:04

Do you have to make the vows? In that situation, I would be happy for only the one parent to make the vows, and would probably work with you in composing additional vows which you felt you could make without compromising your own beliefs. But I appreciate that other denominations may not have that flexibility.

All the dresses that I've seen on this thread look lovely. I hope you have a wonderful day, and yes, I do also hope that you maintain a connection with the church. Even if not regular Sunday worship, then other events or activities as part of that community.

chillibear · 08/06/2023 14:07

@RampantIvy Don't think it's a catholic thing either... we are regular church goers and can't remember mum's in white. I didn't wear white to my dc's and MIL is the basically to Catholicism what "professor umbridge - high inquisitor" is to Hogwarts so would never have let me err from tradition lol

@Anonymouslyposting if the church you attend is relaxed then the Gabin one is fine, you may just need to add a popper to the front so it's not too revealing.

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