Join the grey transition

[Newmum738]

After many years of dying my hair, I've decided to grow out the bleach and embrace my natural grey. I'm expecting it to be a long and difficult journey. I'm already feeling rubbish about mid-life so going grey seems counterintuitive but I think I need to be comfortable with my real self and hopefully that will be empowering. Many women are making the same decision and look fabulous so I'm looking to see if anyone wants to share this journey with me. Either join me or feel free to offer moral support or encouragement!

I grew my natural hair out about 4 years ago, I’m only 37 and about 20% grey.
it was quite painful to be honest, I kept my hair as short as possible to make it easier and now love my hair and get so many compliments about it.
It was well worth it to me just to save the time money and faff of colouring every 3 weeks.
you might need to change your makeup style a little bit to match your new colour better, I always look much better with a bright lip tint.

And yes accepting my true self has definitely given me more confidence.
It was the right decision for me and I’ve never regretted it once the growing out was over, the roots at 2 to 5 inches was probably the worst part of the transition and I did nearly give in a couple of times.
I had my hair cut to a chin length bob so there was less to grow out.

It's such a worthwhile thing to do so I'm just sending you a supportive message. At the end of my 30s i decided i wanted to go into my 40s with my natural hair. It was painful. I have long hair, my friends and partner were not supportive. I stuck with it. My hair still grew pretty quickly then but i think it took about 18 months?

About 15 yrs later I'm still thrilled with my decision. I have wonderful natural highlights, and after the steep learning curve re the change in products (white/grey hair is drier and needs moisture) in thrilled with the texture. I get compliments often. Apparently the young women at work used me as an example for how to have natural hair.

Thanks @TangledUpinBlu! I'm 44 and fed up of the cost and time of dying it although I am fond of the blonde so it's a bold move and I hope I will like it!! I've been thinking about how it will affect the colours I wear and you're right to say about make up, I'll get some advice on that when my true colour is more obvious. I've got about 1.5 inches of the root now and not going to be able to cut it short because short hair suits me even less than terrible grey roots!

@dudsville thanks for positing! Sorry to hear your husband and friends weren't supportive. That must have been super tough! I'm expecting it to take 18 months and no doubt I'll waver at times so glad to have support here.

I last coloured my hair for my 40th and haven't bothered since

I kept it long (bra strap length) and got creative with twists and plaits

I was t fooling anyone, but then I wasn't trying to -just softening the grow out line

I'm about 40% grey but I have some cracking white stripes and my hair looks completely different colours depending on how I style it and what light I'm in

My hair feels much softer now it's not got layers of dye on it

I tend to wear cooler colours now, my died hair had a very reddish tone which I didn't notice until I stopped dying it

I'm a older (51) and after going through menopause I did the same thing. I got about 9 months in. It was ok for a while but it was quite a patchy mix of brown and silver and one day I realised It just looked terrible.

I was already struggling with aging and thought embracing it would be helpful but it really wasn't that straightforward.
I was acutely aware of how I looked and becoming invisible and that coupled with a can't be arsed attitude to styling made me I realise I was almost punishing myself unnecessarily by doing it now - and so I started dying it again.

So give it a go_ but don't be afraid io change it back if needed

I grew mine out in lockdown, it was brown but very grey in the front and I'd been having to touch up the roots every few weeks.
Once I was able to get to a hairdresser, I got a few lowlights put in to break up the demarcation line, which looked a lot better . I had a few more put in very subtly about a year later, and kept the front silver which looks fab.
I had to hunt for ages for a hairdresser who could support me, but she did a great job, and I was able to keep my hair shoulder length, with regular trims.
If you can get highlights or lowlights just to make the root line less obvious, it makes the whole process less painful.

Thanks @Objectrelations that's a really good point!

@DelphiniumBlue I was thinking about this. Trying to grow out a few inches so the true colour can be seen better and then thought I would speak to a hairdresser about the best way to grow it out. Good idea to try a few, I'm not sure my current colourist is the right one for this. I've been wanting to have more white and she always says it won't work which I can't understand because my hair is white in places anyway!!

I let my grey hair grow out after a few years of Covid! Once my roots really grew out.

im 60, it was too much maintenance to keep colouring my hair. I’m really not sure what advice you want, I coloured my hair until I didn’t.

I think there are a couple of factors which influence how well this goes for you:
(1) If you're a nice looking person you can carry it off better. If you still have a young face then you can carry off "old hair". But if, like me, you are already plain plus ageing and sagging on top of that, then going grey will not be an enhancement.
(2) It depends on what grey hair nature gives you. It might be an unpleasant shade of grey, or just a shade that really doesn't suit your skin tone. It might be blocky/ streaky/ badger like in a bad way.

I really like the minor trend amongst teens/ 20s to go silver. It really helps to break the association that grey hair = old.

I have one block of grey in my natural hair (of about an inch width!) , the rest is brown, so it looks really strange! No idea why it's grown that way. I'd embrace my grey if it was more normal and speckly but at the moment I have to colour it (I'm in my 30's). As soon as it gets to a stage where there is a bit more grey and not just this one weird strip I'll let it grow out naturally :)

Good luck. I've not coloured mine for several years now and was lucky that my natural grey is very light and even toned. I was originally brunette then blonde for a while then just went for it. It's definitely easier to transition from blonde to great as there's less contrast.

I've saved so much money by not having it professionally coloured every 6 weeks.

Good luck, it was the best thing I ever did. (I am older than you, but have been grey for about a decade now)

I did have a fantastic hairdresser who made it easy because I have layered hair, so he could add highlights to soften the pain.

My hair is very porous so the sun would make it brassy, then there was me going darker, and the grey and white, I was just a hotch potch of about 4 diferent colours, until I embraced the grey

Pros... hair much more shiny and healthy
Lots of compliments, some people think I actually go to a hairdresser to get the colour I've got!

Cons - Need very regular cuts because if I leave it too long, I look like a mad woman
Some colours I used to wear look strange on me now. Best colours are grey, beige and cool colours which were never my favourite colours.

I did it back in 2015 when I was 42/43. Was so sick of the regrowth. I did the pixie cut. It grew out.

I have not regretted it once. Ever. The liberation from the 4 weekly dye sessions. No longer worrying about roots. My hair and skin tone match.

Follow a few insta/facebook pages to keep you on track

Do it@Newmum738 .

And if you hate it, you can go back to dye.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/style_and_beauty/2316020-To-chop-or-not-Honest-opinions-please?postsby=ChopOrNot

Yes, I found several hairdressers were really not helpful, and my usual hairdresser told me that grey hair was ugly! I spoke to several asking them what they could do help the transition, and only one came up trumps! Shop around!

@KippersForBreakfast looking fabulous!

Oh I love this and seeing the transition in your photos ... looking fab!

OP, I'm here for solidarity. I'm only 35 but haven't dyed my hair since my early 20s so I've no desire to start now. Greys are really starting to come through though and I want to embrace it but keep having a wobble.

Good luck OP . I grew mine out from very dark brown to my current salt and pepper when I was 49 and have never looked back . After a lifetime of very dark hair I love how bright and sparkly it is . I'm 58 now and absolutely love it still .

I’m 55 and had been colouring my hair since I was 14. It had got to the point where I really couldn’t remember what my natural hair colour was. Earlier this year I decided that I couldn’t be bothered with it any more and had my shoulder length bob chopped off into a very short crop, probably about an inch long. Turns out I have brown hair with some grey around the temples and fringe. I actually really like it!

@Newmum738 I would recommend following some people on Instagram or even Faceache if you still have it. The before/after photos are what kept me going when I had a wobble. Nearly always people looked better with the after - the skin tone (which changes as we age) and, certainly for me, my dyed hair just didn't quite "go". Once transitioned to grey everything is much more harmonious. I did/do need to adjust what I wear, and need a pop of colour/lipstick if I can be arsed otherwise I can look a bit pale.

How fine is your hair? I grew my colour out during lockdown; the colour change was easy, but - because I have very fine hair - I really noticed the loss of volume that bleach highlights give.

As a result, I have gone back to having subtle highlights twice a year, which is a lot lower maintenance than my old colour, but keeps a bit of oomph.

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow my hit is very thick. I'm hoping I might be able to have the colour enhanced in the future but more natural than the bleach blonde I have now!

I'm 44 and last coloured my hair over a year ago. I have curly hair so the demarcation line isn't too obvious which makes it easier. My hair is fairly salt and pepper but looks ok. I reckon another year and it should be fully grey. I was sick of the constant highlights and since hairloss seems to be genetic in the women in my family I'd rather not damage my hair anymore. I never straighten it now and only dry it with a hairdryer every now and then and that is on a warm setting with a diffuser. I stopped getting my hair cut at salons too as the price is crazy now.

I do feel grey is going to wash me out a bit especially as I have very sparse eyebrows and fair skin. Might have to start wearing makeup!