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Combatting a bad body image day?

15 replies

Niftythrifter · 29/05/2023 11:10

Have my new jeans on and my stomach area is looking very rotund. I know I have a stomach and as I much as I would like a flat one that’s not realistically going to happen so on a day like today I just need advice etc to get through it and to get it in to perspective.

OP posts:
gardendream · 29/05/2023 11:25

Can you find anything lovely about your body? The smooth skin, pleasing curves, the satisfying squidge, your health, has your stomach area ever housed a baby? Renaissance women might have been jealous! Etc

Find anything to appreciate, and if you can’t find anything to appreciate about your body, look elsewhere - beautiful day, the scent of flowers, whatever floats your boat… when your mind is occupied with appreciation it doesn’t have capacity for loathing.

Dustmybroom · 29/05/2023 11:27

On a bad image day I say to myself “you are not allowed to make any judgements about your body today as you are being unreasonable” and then I put on some comfy clothes and keep busy. I know I’ll feel better about my body in a couple of days so I just wait for that and stay away from mirrors!

Fivemoreminutes1 · 29/05/2023 11:41

Don’t eat anything that will make you bloated!

WhereAreWeNow · 29/05/2023 12:44

I find going for a long walk, getting out in nature, doing some gardening etc sorts my head out when I'm feeling negative about how I look. It focuses my mind elsewhere.

WhereAreWeNow · 29/05/2023 12:45

Definitely don't go shopping on one of those days!

GettingStuffed · 29/05/2023 13:16

Change, I was away a couple of weeks ago and the outfit I chose looked great in my head, blue paint splatter design t-shirt, blue trousers and a denim jacket. I caught sight of myself in a pub mirror and I looked awful, square and only my t-shirt fitted.

Two days later I went out in my favourite dress and someone told me I looked stunning in it.

If you don't like what you're wearing change into an old favourite that you know is flattering.

AnaLaBooth · 29/05/2023 15:17

It's maybe more mental than physical, once we accept a thing that we don't much like, but also know it isn't the end of the world.

One mental approach is to imagine all those things and people you love not being there, the things you have worked to achieve, the stuff that makes you love your life. It's kind of like a reality check - if those other things were challenged we would forget a wobbly belly in a split second. A sort of reshuffling of our priorities.
Women are socialised to overthink their appearance to the point of distraction. We are taught to measure it as a value of our worth. Of course we all know this isn't how life actually works and body worrying is often a distraction from other issues which are maybe harder to face straight on.

I won't go into detail but a woman I seriously admire, who has a wonderful life and sense of self/meaning really brought this home to me last week. She is older and had wobbly arms, a belly, frizzy hair. Yet she SHINES like fuck, her joy and acceptance of life really knocks me over. I really, really want this for myself, and it sort of makes you realise that the odd wobbly bit is so ultimately insignificant in the greater scheme of life.

It's a bonus to love out bodies completely, we live in a very picky, profit focused world where everything is set up to magnify our 'flaws', but we have to make a decision about how much of that shit we are willing to let in. If you are healthy and otherwise happy, give the belly pooch a pet name and take it out with you with pride:) Or try to get rid of it, it's your call, you own no one a flatter stomach.

AnaLaBooth · 29/05/2023 15:20

OWE, not own.

dudsville · 29/05/2023 15:24

I agree with a pp, today you should not listen to your inner critic. Dress comfortably with kindness to your belly. Some days are like this. Allow your attention to wander to something more pleasant.

Niftythrifter · 29/05/2023 18:21

@AnaLaBooth I have reached a place of acceptance when it comes to the stomach area, it’s just hard on some days.

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Iafontaine · 29/05/2023 18:26

I'm tall and sometimes feel cumbersome and self conscious, find myself slouching. I just tell myself it is one of those days. It helps to focus on something outside of yourself, do something complicated and absorbing.

mellongoose · 29/05/2023 19:06

I agree with pp and looking for the positives, learning acceptance etc.

Can anyone recommend any positive aspects of a giant back?!!! It's the bit that bothers me the most 😂

Craftycorvid · 29/05/2023 19:17

I’ve struggled with body/appearance issues for most of my life - got bullied due to my appearance, both at school and later on by men (that or the condescending ‘aw, but you have nice eyes’-type remarks). These days, I feel I usually make the best of what I’ve got but every so often I’ll have a hell of a downer day. I used to wear my most body conscious things on those days, almost as a punishment or something, now I just put on something kindly - soft and loose fitting, and I focus on having hair and make-up looking good if possible. I also do my best to remind myself of the things about me as a person that I like. We are obviously a lot more than our dress size, but so many of us have been wounded by a society that tells us our dress size is all that matters.

Niftythrifter · 29/05/2023 21:47

I feel that if I let my insecurities win by not wearing something then I might not wear it again so I wear what I like and just have to deal with them even if it makes me feel down on myself a bit. I take it as an act of defiance.

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Craftycorvid · 31/05/2023 07:32

Yes, I get that @Niftythrifter and it’s only recently that I’ve stopped doing that. It takes an effort for me to trust that I will feel better by and by and more like wearing certain things. I have a fear that I’ll ‘give up’ on myself if not constantly battling.

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