Clothes to defrump me

[Fappy]

Hello everyone, I'm 45 years old and have gained an insane amount of weight in the past few years. I'm probably a size 20 now. I've got a wardrobe full of clothes that don't fit me so I don't really want to buy many new clothes.

I'm usually in leggings and a longish (till thighs) plain top of yoga pants and a medium longish (just under bum) top. Anything to cover my massive bottom. I put very, very little effort into my appearance and I look really shabby.

Could anyone suggest a few items that I could regular wear over summer that look kind of neater? I'm a pear shape but now also have a very sizeable tummy. My requirements:

1. Very comfortable (not jeans. Actually most trousers I find uncomfortable now)
2. Not too short
3. Inexpensive (nothing above £40)
4. No deep necklines
5. Only stores that make returns really, really easy and fool proof or this fool here won't return them.

Also any ideas on how not to look so frumpy anymore?

Thanks so much

I don't know about not looking frumpy but same age and size as you with a big tummy.

I find I get lots of compliments when I wear dresses usually fitted at the top and cotton so it's not clingy. Fit and flare dresses from sea salt seem to fit well on me but a bit expensive.

I wear snag shorts underneath to stop the rubbing

I've given up on trousers and shorts and just accept I can't wear them thanks to the big tum and bum

Have a look at Yours (got a sale on too), Simply Be and M&S. Once you find a few things you like have a look at those brands and styles on Vinted too as I’ve had some bargains off there (it can be hit and miss of course).

Have a look at Grecerelle dresses on Amazon. They are very comfortable and look quite elegant. Easy to wash and dry beautifully. Versatile too - dress up or down.

I'm not a fan of the leggings and t shirt look. I think that a couple of dresses might be your answer. I know that people will slate what I suggest but how about looking at Matalan which would fit your budget. They have 20% off all their dresses just now. I bought the black one for holiday and I love it! Look for ones that gather just below the bust. Add a blazer or a denim jacket - they have loads in all colours. They also have these "double cloth" beach shirts which are very thick and come in various colours which would be a change and airy to wear with leggings.

M&s have some nice things. I wasn't impressed with tesco this year but sainsbury's has some lovely things only problem is it's quite a lot of polyester. I had a lot of success in next.

If you got a nice jacket and a (white is nice or blue) denim jacket those would make the underneath outfits less frumpy. A jacket could even be a lower size if you are losing weight and don't mind not doing it up.

Get some nice white/light trainers again defrump.

Be careful with prints, a block colour could be classier.

There are lots of flowing wide leg pants and loose t shirts available. Next had nice cotton ones. Then get a maxi dress in either a bright block colour or khaki/ navy/black.

Chub rub shorts from tesco are good price!

If you did want trousers, Morrisons usually have nice harem ones for under £20 that aren't baggy and have a nice wide waistband. I get the plain black ones. I also have a couple of plain dresses with shirred elastic tops that flare out from the waist. If you buy these you'll need a slip or vest too because the shirting is rarely lined and rubs. But style wise they are nice.
Chub rub shorts are a necessity for dresses.

Agree with prints and fussy patterns. So many clothes manufacturers seem to go for that look. Dresses, tops, no clean lines.
I tend to buy 90% of my wardrobe from M&S, Arket and Cos. Not a pattern in sight. It's just not me. And everything can be worn to work and for going out.
For example, I have some old Boden Hampshire navy trousers that I wear for work. Tonight I've got an 18th birthday party and will wear those with a plain white Cos long sleeved top. The sleeves go wide at the bottom into an almost flare, and that's what makes the top different to a bogstandard long sleeved t shirt.
I'll wear it with a long chunky pendant and a navy blazer.

I don't like the word "frumpy" as there's a huge connotation about age and size that goes with it. But I definitely feel "classier" if I'm in plain, non busy, non patterned clothes.

Have a look at Lucy and Yak trousers. I have the Chuck and the Alexa and they are both so comfortable. The sizing is very generous so even though I’d carefully checked I found I had to go down a size and the exchange process was very quick and easy

Thanks. I've ordered one of those. It's very comfortable as you said and I really like it. How would I dress it up?

I agree about the word frumpy. I really shouldn't use it but that's exactly how I feel. Old and fat. But then I tell myself that being old and overweight (or obese even) doesn't mean I need to look shabby so that's what I'm trying to achieve.

Oh don't worry, it's a handy word for those designs that some manufacturers seem to think we should all be wearing once we pass a certain age or size!
Something else I find makes me bizarrely look better- a size too big. I had a top that was my size and it just looked meh. I had it in a different colour but next size up and it felt so much better. Like I'd gone for some sort of "edgy" fashion statement thing. 🤣 Ever since then I always buy what is technically too big but feel much better in it.

Nice wedge sandals and a pretty necklace. I wear them for work a lot.

I like Apticot Curve maxi dresses for summer and Joe Brown Maxi dresses (not all styles). PP is spot on with fitted top (I like shirred) and looser cotton skirt bit draw compliments.

I'm 39 and a size 18. I just got a few bits from a new slightly higher end range from George at Asda. Think it's called "exclusive" (but it is not very expensive - £35 for trousers and dress etc. £12 for a plain t-shirt). I really like it and find the quality good.

I do agree with no patterns and a small colour palette. I go for a sort of 'clean girl' look. Having said that, I've just bought a patterned dress from TOAST as I want some better quality bits and this looked nice. But this thread has reminded me there's a reason I usually steer away from prints and patterns (other than Breton stripes)

I'm a recent size 16-18 and am carrying it all on my tummy (thanks DD!) and feel best at the moment in a pair of pull on side stripe trousers.

Mine are a fairly robust jersey, which is more forgiving than it sounds, and I match the side stripe colour with a t shirt/shirt with a French tuck.

Mine are m&co, but m&s have LOADS in some really good colour ways.

www.marksandspencer.com/side-stripe-wide-leg-trousers/p/clp60517410

I agree with the PP about the patterns that make clothes look cheap and frumpy. Clean lines would be good. If you don't have a lot of money could you buy fewer items but at a slightly higher price? I do think quality shows once you're over 35

Tu is good for bigger clothes, dresses are your friend on summer for sure. Get a Boden discount code and their jersey weekend dresses are flattering and comfy. I love patterns , if you listened to mumsnet then the maxi dress and denim jacket look is so over, but it suits me so I'm still wearing it, with chunky /wedge sandals instead of trainers though, they can look frumpy