Total frustration with clothes shopping - it's no longer fun

[Violetpearl]

I have recently been trying to buy some summer things for holiday and hen do but have just found it very frustrating, time consuming and temporarily costly.(I realise it's a first world problem but thought as this is a s&b thread it is the best place to vent).

So I've tried to find things in shops (m&s, next, supermarket) as I like to actually see what I am buying. I am a size 20 and 5ft 4. Most of the time there are no size 20's stocked and if there are they are too long for me. I do get short length in m&s when I can.

So have no choice but to shop in the total lottery that is online shopping.

I purchased a dress from Tu which was to be delivered to the local Argos. I got a text to say Argos had the parcel last week and went to pick it up yesterday to be told I had missed the deadline and it had been sent back. I had no notification of this in advance but strangely after I went in yesterday I had a text to say a refund had been processed. I do wonder if I hadn't gone in would the refund have ever been processed.

I then had a couple of multiway bras to collect from George at asda. I have a bra size that again is quite difficult to get. When I ordered them on line the cup size wasn't available to I got a smaller one to try. When I went to pick them up yesterday I thought I'd check in store if my size was available which it was so I tried to return the parcel I'd picked up and take the others. First of all when I tried to return with one cashier I just got a grunt and point to another member of staff which I took to mean her colleague would help me. I went to the customer service person and told her I just wanted to change them. She said I'd have to return them at the returns point and I would have to buy again. I asked her how long the refund would take and she said she didn't know.

I ordered 3 dresses and 2 skits from very, Debenham and boohoo and out of this I'm only keeping 1 dress. Everything else either didn't fit, something looked like it had been worn or the material wasn't suitable. So now I've got to work out how to return them all.

Shopping is just no longer fun or is it just me? You are just waiting for refunds or running round trying to work out where to send parcels back.

I just want clothes that I like and fit. Is it too much to ask?? Is anyone else sharing my frustration?

Completely agree. It's such a chore. I'm an 18, same height (and shrinking 😕). If I meet friends for shopping I just traipse around after them & enjoy the chats, absolutely no point in trying things on or looking in most shops. I think Next Online is about the best site for me, they have tons of brands and size ranges, and delivery has been the most prompt. Also M&S. If I find something that works for me I buy it in multiple colours. Have to get things shortened a lot, brands seem to think that fat always equals tall. I found a shirt I loved that was almost perfect, just gaped a bit, so I ordered a size up - the next size was inches longer. I was so disappointed.

I am 6ft so have almost always been in this boat. Shopping has never been fun. If I am shopping recreationally it is for books or home furnishings!

I am a member of a Facebook group dedicated to finding clothing for tall women which I find useful. There might be something similar for petite curvy women out there too?

I've saved up and used a personal shopper too, which I've had sone sucess with.

I'm with you OP. Used to be fun, not anymore. So much horrible polyester. Too many styles that hardly anyone wants to wear, like tiny cropped t-shirts and jumpers. Sizing is just insane - I hardly ever buy online for this reason. I'm a size 12, but I have clothes in my wardrobe from size 6 to size 16, and they all fit me 🤔

Lots of interesting comments on this thread about this.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4804068-to-feel-so-disappointed-in-clothes-shopping-now-compared-to-what-it-used-to-be-like?page=1

I think in cheaper shops like Asda, the customer service takes a hit as it’s all part of keeping prices low. I went to Jigsaw recently and the staff were falling over themselves to help me, checking stock room, helping me in the changing room etc. Often in the supermarkets you can’t even try anything on.

It does often all feel like an obstacle course. I think people are lucky if they can find one or two stores which fit their figure and lifestyle and can reliably buy from there. But even then those stores sometimes change, Boden I’m looking at you. With a difficult figure, I end up shopping in lots of different places, having to work out sizing and returns each time.

Next have made it harder to return stuff by shutting a lot of stores (over half in London including most recently Westfield Stratford) and I believe also now not including returns in their annual pass thing. M&S and John Lewis are good to deal with (lots of outlets, easy process online or in store, self seal bags, quick refunds).

Thank you for all your messages and it looks like there are many reasons why what is on offer doesn't fit/suit what we want. I will take all your tips. They are very helpful. If only the providers could understand more what we need you never know they may have increased sales😁

I'm not sure if this helps at all, but Uniqlo have a size guide where you input your " vital statistics" and it recommends the size and length to fit you.
I recently ordered some T shirts which were great quality.
Might be worth a look

Just a warning about uniqlo: I ordered some items click and collect and while they’d let me exchange for a different size in store I still had to post my returns.

Also, I’m really annoyed that I have to take returns for the 3 main delivery companies to 3 different shops to post them (not even accounting for the ones that require a trip to the (non-existent near me) Post Office)!

‘The Lord helps them that help themselves’

if the only thing that is wrong is the length, you can learn to take things up. It’s really not that hard, all you need is a set square ( child’s school kit) to make sure you are going straight, a pair of scissors , some pins and a needle and thread. There must be hundreds of online tutorials showing how to do a hem.

Failing that , you could use an iron on binding tape ( though I don’t think they wash as well.)

I completely agree!

I'm 5'2 and a size 16/18, there's not many clothing shops where I am anyway but the ones we do have are rubbish for larger sizes. Last time I went in new look I found 2 items in the whole store that were an 18.

Sizing is also a nightmare and it's not even consistent within the same brand! It does take some working out what sizes you fit in to in each shop. I've found that I can order a 16 with M&S and 9/10 it will fit. The same with Fatface. And I know with Next that I need to go for 18/20 cause they run small.

Always check the returns policy before ordering as some aren't free. I won't order from somewhere new if it's not free returns because it'll likely not fit.

I've also started checking the material steering clear of polyester, as a plus size lady I get hot and need breathable material

Someone please tell me why. They think that because I went up a size I automatically got two inches taller. Who thought that was a thing.

I just wanted to buy a pair of jeans. I actually bought my husband with me. He was stunned by the amount of stupid names and styles for jeans. Why can’t I just buy a pair of jeans. One of them the crotch was nearly down to my knees. And this was in m&s.
I also showed him how one size 14 could be so different to another size 14.

I only go clothes shopping now when I really need new clothes. I don’t go for fun anymore as I hate it.

Actually found two pairs that fit ( possible will have to see if they actually stay fitting when I walk or do they fall down ) and two pairs of summer trousers. I’m going to go back next week. And re buy all four if they are okay. So that should last me for ages. No fun in clothes shopping anymore.