52, just divorced - Need Hair, Clothes and Skin Advice!

[SpringCherryPie]

I am feeling quite rubbish. My husband cheated with a glamorous younger woman and we are now divorced. I had a DS with severe disabilities and takes a lot of my time. 😥I want to feel good about myself again!

Need advice please!👗💄I want to be able to strut down the street with a little confidence! Now every time I see myself in a shop mirror I am shocked by how tired, frumpy and unattractive I am.

I am 5kg overweight, 5’ 5”, thick mousy mid-length hair (a bit of a wave), don’t seem to ever look polished. I like comfortable clothes and walk a lot, but trying to find a style that suits. I used to be prettier but now my face looks like it’s been pulled down into a sad resting bitch face. 😒Also my eyes look small and hooded now aaargh!

I use Nivea on my face and hands. My hair is going grey at the top. I wear plain jersey dresses (long, fitted) or jeans/straight leg cotton trousers. White Stuff/Hush/Adidas/Brora. Very little make up. I’d appreciate any advice at all.

First of all who cares who he went with he has done you a favour by going. Second your lovely the way you are yoy don't need lots of products to make you feel better. Feel better because your rid of someone who hasn't treat you right and take time to now relax and just enjoy yourself. Your doing good, hold your head up high hard as it may be some days and you will get there 🙂

Thanks @LadyJ2023 that is very kind of you.

But I do want to feel better on the outside. The inside me is resilient and strong. But I don’t want to be on my own forever, and I want to be able to have some pride in my appearance just for me. So I can look in the mirror at shops and think - I’m older, but I still matter and I am still worth dressing up for and doing my hair.

How about starting with the hairdressers for a colour and cut?

Firstly, you have got a lot going for you. Your hair alone, thick, wavy and some length would be many 50+ women's dream. You probably only need a bit of shiny colour and a nice style to have a proper swishy mane.
You're what? 10lb over your ideal weight? So one dress size? Neither here nor there, but can be lost if you feel like it with a whole foods diet that will have the added benefits of making you feel great.
You may find as you lose the stress your face changes. However, in all honesty, you may not. If you have sagging and drooping from loss of elasticity nothing but procedures will address that I'm afraid. Liquid face lift (filler and botox) is good.
Above all, dig deep and find the beautiful experienced woman in there. Honestly, you have so much ahead of you now to enjoy in freedom and confidence. The best is to come!

I find that light make up makes me feel and look brighter. Tinted moisturiser, mascara and lipstick/gloss, cream blush and highlighter if I’m being extra fancy.
A scarf or a big necklace dresses up jeans and a shirt/ dress. Also wearing colours that suit me/I really like.
I second the poster who said hairdresser. Having your hair look good is a confidence booster.
I bought some Trinny London concealer, lip gloss, blush, highlighter and eyeshadow. It’s convenient and quick. I feel like I’m looking after myself and it gives me a boost.

Thanks a lot @5128gap and @learieonthewildmoor those are great ideas. I am going to book myself into the hairdresser asap and think about lighter make up.

I made a big effort yesterday, dressed in all black with sunglasses 😎 , low trainers, nice lipstick and a bright bag. I pretended in my head that I was really an undercover D list celebrity, and took DS out to a cafe. 😁Something that is not easy to do as he’s very hard to get out of the house. But I made sure that this one goal of me and DS having a nice time that day was mission accomplished. I feel better already!

Really, do t worry about what you look like. Just smile, it makes all the difference as to how people see you. Unless you smile too much and look unhinged !