Anyone with dark hair gone lighter and stayed lighter?

[Flipz]

Hi,

So I know it seems to be the way, that women with darker hair are advised to go lighter as they age, as it tends to be more flattering. However, most women I know end up going back to their natural colour, as the up keep of being lighter us too much.

I have naturally dark brown, quite cool toned hair, which is quite coarse in texture and wavy/curly naturally, although I always style it smooth. I have a fair few greys now, which I have covered with a semi permanent colour matching my own (as close as possible anyway) every 2 or 3 months and I also have a balayage, which I have toned at the same time.

I had all over highlights once to kind of weave out the grey, instead of any dark dye, as it can look too harsh against my pale, almost 40 skin now, but it was so warm and did nothing for me. Even with a toner, was quite orange 😬

I have seen quite a few hairdressers who seem quite reluctant to do anything different, so I'm stuck with dark root touch up and a toner. I'm just bored with it. Would love a proper colourist to advise about what colours would actually suit my face, but I can't seem to find one.

If you do have naturally dark hair which you continue to lighten, did it take you a while to achieve the right tone?

Any advice or hairdresser recommendations would be very much appreciated too.

Thanks 😊

I started going grey at about 19 (genetics, I followed my dad!) and have (had) naturally dark hair-brunette with a touch of chestnut in the right light.
It got to the stage by the time I was 30 that I needed to have a colour every two weeks else the grey was so prominent. Not just the colour, but the coarse texture of the greys really made it look in bad condition.
Do you remember Lisa Dingle from Emmerdale about 20 years ago when she was going grey with frizzy hair? That was what might was starting to be like.
My hairdresser recommended going lighter to reduce the need for such regular dying.
It started off quite dark still but now 15 years later I am pure blonde.
I have it bleached every 5 weeks with highlights to break up the blockiness of the colour.
I don't think I'll ever go dark again. One of my colleagues that didn't know me dark saw a photo of me and told me not to dye my hair dark again as it was really aging and didn't suit me. That was my actual hair
I have quite olive skin tones and tan well if that helps give an overall picture.
I'm now mid 40s. I do sometimes think it looks too BRIGHT BLONDE and I feel a little bit like Donatello Versace at times. Maybe as I get older I'll go for a more honey blonde.
I'd love to go that silver grey blonde and maybe at some point I'll let the natural grey come through. Not yet though.

Yes I went lighter because it was harder to hide the grey I was needing a colour ever 4/ 6 weeks so went blonder last longer.

I went from black to grey if that helps... 🙃

I'm dark and have been having balayage for the last couple of years, it really has brightened me up.
I have a lot of grey at the roots so I use a root touch up every two weeks, Nice and Easy do them but I prefer Superdrugs own make, easy to use, then I use a toner to keep my blonde bright, silver Shrine Drops (Boots online)

@Minikievs yes, it's also the blockiness that I'm desperate to avoid. How's the condition of your hair?

@Campervangirl do the drops work to knock warmth out? I can't say I actually see much difference when I have a toner put on at the hairdressers.

Honestly? If I blow dry it and straighten it or curl it, it's ok. Especially if I oil it with Moroccan oil. Otherwise, if I leave to to dry naturally without oil, or tie it back in a messy bun, I look like Worzel Gummage after he's been electrocuted.
I am crap at using product though so if you're good at that sort of thing, your hair might look better. Mine is long suffering I'm afraid.

I'm in a similar position, I'm cool toned, naturally ashy brown hair, very pale skin and blue eyes and have tried blonde highlights to cover the (increasing) grey. It doesn't work, it makes me look completely washed out. So I'm back to dying it my own shade of ash brown and using root touch up between appointments, which is a pain but it looks far better than it did blonde.