Identity Crisis!

[LadyPoison]

I've had my hair long for many years as it's extremely coarse, ridiculously thick and awkwardly wavy so works better long for low maintenance hair which I can just twist up.

Anyway I'm now too old for the "Kate Middleton" look really so I asked the hairdresser to cut it to around shoulder level in a long bob and I've been fighting the triangle look ever since and absolutely hate it.

Anyway I went back today to say that the style really isn't working and what could she do about it. She asked me if I've ever allowed it to be curly? Curly? Me? I don't have curly hair - well it seems I do, and quite curly as well, as it's approaching the 3a type! She's done a tweak of the bob and dried it as she would curly hair and I'm all but unrecognisable.

It's only taken over 50 years for me to realise this which is embarrassing to say the least. Having being brought up with a brush and comb addiction I have to embrace a whole new way of thinking. She's given me a few tips but I now want to embrace my curls - well I've waited a long time for them.

So any advice on products for me? I guess I need some sort of curl defining serum at least.

Only Curls has a starter set. But I'd start by joining a few groups online and watching YouTube tutorials, ManesbyMel is great

Before you buy anything join or lurk on a Facebook group for wavy / curly hair. They are absolutely brilliant mines of information, techniques and product recommendations.

I have a very similar hair type to you but I'm wavy not curly. You might be told you are technically wavy too - curly has a v specific meaning in these groups.

Before buying products (and definitely definitely start with cheap ones till you get to know your hair) searching or asking these groups will help you determine how porous your hair is and whether your hair needs moisture, protein or both. You'll then realise that that these factors determine a lot of your product and technique choices.

One thing I will say from experience is that most people on these groups seem to have fine hair or normal hair, not coarse. A lot of advice tailored for wavy hair seems to be based around this. As a fellow crazy thick and coarse hair person you may have to find your own way a little. You may find you need more product and get on well with co-washing, you may get less shine and definition but you'll never be short of volume.

1. Never, ever try and fight your hair. Hair always wins in the end.
2. Find a hairdresser who understands curls and waves. That's not easy so, if you've got one - and it sounds like you have - treasure her and never let her go.
3. I find that if the cut is right (see my second point), I don't need much in the way of product. I've mainly used Fudge Shaper although I've heard they've stopped making it so I'm not sure what I'll try next.

Thank you for the advice! I'm definitely a bit at sea here. FB here I come. Yes - lack of volume has never been an issue for me! An undercut at the back has helped a lot but if anyone else ever says to me how lucky I am to have such thick hair, I'll probably lamp them!

I already know my hair is porous, that's been mentioned by hairdressers in the past and it's certainly dry which of course hasn't been helped by having to straighten it every day to fight the triangle.

My hairdresser is brilliant. The cut still isn't quite right - she started drying my hair and I think we were both a little surprised at just how curly it was going. She damped it back down and feathered the edges back in but it was getting late by then. Next time she said she'd dry it straight, cut it precisely and then re-wash and re-dry but I wanted to see how I got on with the curls before committing to it. I do look completely different. Normally when it dries naturally I just brush it out (into a frizzy triangle) which I'm now forbidden to do!

Ah mine is porous too. Hard to make it shiny but at least it doesn't get greasy.