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Style and beauty

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Original poster

'She looks a state'

51 replies

User1706 · 15/04/2023 19:17

I need some help the above comment was what I heard a group of preteen boys saying about me whilst bursting into giggles about my hair when i took my toddler to the park today (my hair was clean but just plonked in a messy bun for reference.)

I know they're just kids, but it hit a nerve as that's how I feel right now. I don't get much sleep, so I have bad eye bags, my skin has gone dry/sensitive but still with bits of redness and the odd spot. I don't have ages to do make up and facials right now, but can anyone recommend a few simple products to brighten me up.

OP posts:
ShowUs · 15/04/2023 21:13

PussBilledDuckyPlait · 15/04/2023 19:30

They'd probably have said it even if you'd been looking model-perfect. They just want to get a reaction. Sadly, misogyny starts young in some people.

Don't feel you have to fork out for expensive products to 'fix' yourself on the strength of meaningless words from idiotic kids.

I agree.

You actually find the prettier the woman (and out of their league) the more nasty some people will be.

They we’re just showing off in front of their mates and would have said anything about anyone.
Do not let them upset you.

JingleBellez · 15/04/2023 21:23

I'm a fan of make up that makes you glow brighter for this reason.

I studied Beauty at college. What's your current skin care routine? How's your diet?

Mix your eye cream with tinted moisturiser. Use an illuminating moisturiser. Magic minerals are good for ladies of age.

If you're on a tight budget try your local FE college's salon. 2

TennisWithDeborah · 15/04/2023 22:11

Only take the skincare and grooming tips if YOU want to, OP, and because you think they’d make you feel better. Not because of foolish comments directed randomly at you.

Itakecreaminmycoffee · 15/04/2023 22:17

StraightHairDonCare · 15/04/2023 21:06

If you can afford it, sort the hair out and go to a private dermatologist.

🤣🤣🤣Coz some idiotic spotty youths made a silly comment in the park?

Do get a grip!

OP - don't let this stupid incident bother you in the slightest - just put it out of your mind, laugh it off. I bet every single woman on MN has had an incident like this - do you think they'd have said anything to a passing man? Of course not.
It is just about some little boys trying to impress their friends and get a laugh, it has absolutely nowt to do with you, ok?

SkaneTos · 15/04/2023 22:19

Kanaloa · 15/04/2023 19:31

Exactly this. You could have been Scarlet Johansson walking through that park and they’d have said something. Horrible little twits, I wonder what their parents would think?

Show quote history

I agree.

piedbeauty · 15/04/2023 23:12

PussBilledDuckyPlait · 15/04/2023 19:30

They'd probably have said it even if you'd been looking model-perfect. They just want to get a reaction. Sadly, misogyny starts young in some people.

Don't feel you have to fork out for expensive products to 'fix' yourself on the strength of meaningless words from idiotic kids.

This! 👏👏👆🏽

mathanxiety · 15/04/2023 23:14

They would have said it about anyone. The little fuckers.

FrillyGoatFluff · 16/04/2023 12:17

Going to make a massive assumption here (based on our local teenage boys!) but were they in tracksuits with one hand down their pants and a cross body man bag slung too high?

In which case, I think they look a state too.

Ignore them, little sods.

AbsolutePixels · 16/04/2023 12:37

My entire adolescence was spent around little shits like this, low level casual misogyny definitely starts early in some places. I have seen photos of what some of them grew up into though and let's just say they have mostly not aged well...

Same. It's like they've never looked in a mirror.

Original poster
User1706 · 16/04/2023 13:03

Wow thank you all for taking the time to respond I'm shocked to have so many!

Little more background you are all of course right they were little daft pre-teens who were just showing off to each other. They just happened to catch me after a rubbish week when I already felt crap and didn't need anyone reinforcing that.

Little more background to me (noticed someone brought this up) I do look after myself, regular haircuts/treatments, full skin care routine - haven't started looking into things like retinol/botox etc as I am only 31 but think this is perhaps the time. Attempt flattering clothes and make up but like I'm sure the majority of you will be familiar with/remember I have a 20 month old son who has never slept through the night, still breastfeeds and has a long term illness so the tiredness has got to me! I wish Clarins still made Beauty Flash Balm as that used to be my go to but I will look up your suggestions.

Separate point to take away I was a teen in the noughties and always found it was the girls who were bitchy about each others appearances however, I'm really noticing boys attitudes more too. I have a son and will absolutely be teaching him women are here to be respected; our bodies are powerful and our minds unique and thoughtful.

OP posts:
Original poster
User1706 · 16/04/2023 13:06

mac1974 · 15/04/2023 19:25

I just use the retinol twice a week

Just looking into this, my skin has recently gone quite dry/sensitive. Did you find the retinol made your skin red or sensitive at all?

OP posts:
Original poster
User1706 · 16/04/2023 13:08

Dymaxion · 15/04/2023 21:03

Never take any notice of anyone who isn't washing their own pants @User1706

This had me howling, thank you! Ive decided if I ever hear my boy making these types of comments I'll just stop washing his pants altogether 😂

OP posts:
Comedycook · 16/04/2023 13:11

I have a teenage ds...

Comedycook · 16/04/2023 13:12

Posted too soon...when he was a pre teen though he'd have had no idea whether a woman looked good or not. It's not even something that would have registered in his brain. Hence why I think it must have been a dare

JassyGoon · 16/04/2023 13:22

They'd probably have said it even if you'd been looking model-perfect. They just want to get a reaction. Sadly, misogyny starts young in some people.

Yes

letsallmeetupinthehyear2000 · 16/04/2023 13:45

Dymaxion · 15/04/2023 21:03

Never take any notice of anyone who isn't washing their own pants @User1706

Love it 🤣🤣🤣👍👍

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 16/04/2023 13:56

Good skincare is key.

However, I found Clarins Beauty Flash balm which someone gifted me with other products last year and it’s amazing!

Al’iver tubing mascara I recently bought, just as good as falsies! Nude inner eye pencil (Rimmel).

a good blush, glossier cloudpaint.

I’ve also had compliments on Estée Lauder Double Wear either light or sheer (in a tube).

Random teens can be harsh, ignore them!

StraightHairDonCare · 16/04/2023 14:18

Itakecreaminmycoffee · 15/04/2023 22:17

🤣🤣🤣Coz some idiotic spotty youths made a silly comment in the park?

Do get a grip!

OP - don't let this stupid incident bother you in the slightest - just put it out of your mind, laugh it off. I bet every single woman on MN has had an incident like this - do you think they'd have said anything to a passing man? Of course not.
It is just about some little boys trying to impress their friends and get a laugh, it has absolutely nowt to do with you, ok?

Show quote history

Clearly it has a grain of truth though because op herself has mentioned skin complaints and that what they said hit a nerve because that's how she's feeling about herself.
Also this was posted in Style and Beauty.
They might not say it to a man because he might turn around and whack them one.

Deathraystare · 16/04/2023 15:03

Unfortunately some never grow up which is why Mumsnet is full of women complaining of their 'Dear' Partners and Husbands calling them 'fat' at size 8 and 10!

Anyway, just fantasize that you swap lives. You get to be a stupid arsehole who couldn't string a sentence together if your life depended on it and he got to clean up after a toddler!

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 16/04/2023 15:05

User1706 · 16/04/2023 13:03

Wow thank you all for taking the time to respond I'm shocked to have so many!

Little more background you are all of course right they were little daft pre-teens who were just showing off to each other. They just happened to catch me after a rubbish week when I already felt crap and didn't need anyone reinforcing that.

Little more background to me (noticed someone brought this up) I do look after myself, regular haircuts/treatments, full skin care routine - haven't started looking into things like retinol/botox etc as I am only 31 but think this is perhaps the time. Attempt flattering clothes and make up but like I'm sure the majority of you will be familiar with/remember I have a 20 month old son who has never slept through the night, still breastfeeds and has a long term illness so the tiredness has got to me! I wish Clarins still made Beauty Flash Balm as that used to be my go to but I will look up your suggestions.

Separate point to take away I was a teen in the noughties and always found it was the girls who were bitchy about each others appearances however, I'm really noticing boys attitudes more too. I have a son and will absolutely be teaching him women are here to be respected; our bodies are powerful and our minds unique and thoughtful.

Clarins beauty flash balm is still made and sold as I double checked and panicked when you seemed to say it’d gone!

LolaSmiles · 16/04/2023 15:06

PP already said what I came along to say. The only thing I would take from this is reflecting on the revolting misogyny that makes a bunch of teen boys think they can make fun of an adults woman's appearance/ anything about a woman like they are judge and jury because they are males
Agree with this 100%.
These boys have already taken on a misogynistic worldview where women of any age are subjects for their nastiness.

Even if OP looked fully made up, they'd have probably said something because it stems from a a belief that women's bodies are there for shitty men and boys to comment on.

Original poster
User1706 · 16/04/2023 15:19

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 16/04/2023 15:05

Clarins beauty flash balm is still made and sold as I double checked and panicked when you seemed to say it’d gone!

Show quote history

It's been reformulated though so be aware if you're picky like me! I used to work for Clarins and love their products but they do seem to have a habit of reformulating products even when they seem very popular (I suppose that's sales and they'll say I'm stuck in my ways 😅)

However... I did try the beauty flash peel recently and that is brilliant and not faffy at all to use.

OP posts:
mac1974 · 16/04/2023 16:26

@User1706 no it hasn't made my skin sensitive. It is probably a bit drier the next day so I make sure I moisturise properly after I put it on & the next morning I also wear suncream.
I am quite fortunate with my skin as it's not prone to outbreaks really but I do have a couple of belmishes that bother me.

I find the whole skincare world quite overwhelming as there's so much choice so I've been enjoying just using these two products as it's made it very simple.

Original poster
User1706 · 16/04/2023 17:02

mac1974 · 16/04/2023 16:26

@User1706 no it hasn't made my skin sensitive. It is probably a bit drier the next day so I make sure I moisturise properly after I put it on & the next morning I also wear suncream.
I am quite fortunate with my skin as it's not prone to outbreaks really but I do have a couple of belmishes that bother me.

I find the whole skincare world quite overwhelming as there's so much choice so I've been enjoying just using these two products as it's made it very simple.

Thank you for the advice simple changes is absolutely what I need right now. I'm just having a bit of retail therapy looking at it now 🥰

OP posts:
GonnaGetGoingReturns · 18/04/2023 18:23

User1706 · 16/04/2023 15:19

It's been reformulated though so be aware if you're picky like me! I used to work for Clarins and love their products but they do seem to have a habit of reformulating products even when they seem very popular (I suppose that's sales and they'll say I'm stuck in my ways 😅)

However... I did try the beauty flash peel recently and that is brilliant and not faffy at all to use.

Show quote history

Why do Clarins and other companies reformulate an otherwise great product?! (Presumably to save money).